Beowulf

Ubisoft Shanghai and Tiwak did a magnificent job of butchering the reimagining of a classic tale and providing plenty of disposable, derivative gameplay to go along with it. Though you'll eventually understand the new tale, the absurd storytelling often makes deciphering events and motivations as difficult as a non-scholar trying to read the Nowell Codex. As far as gameplay goes, I can understand why a development studio would want to mimic many of God of War's concepts, yet it's still surprising to see it done so badly. Things start out simple, and that's how they stay, right up until the very end. That is, of course, assuming you can bypass an unbelievably aggravating protection sequence where the utter uselessness of your Thanes, heroic, and carnal attacks becomes painfully obvious. What a waste of time.

Even a merry band of adventurous thanes can't save this quest from ruin.

Unfortunately, Beowulf lacks special qualities, which will hurt it at a time of the year when there are plenty of high-quality games available to buy. However, its historical connection to the poem and current movie tie-in will get it some traction with people interested in either of those elements. And, in all likelihood, its sticker price will drop in a matter of a couple of months, at which point you may want to consider it for its qualities as an unyielding, button-mashing combat game; an inexpensive Gamerscore builder; and a way to spend an afternoon or two bashing the tar out of some walking/running/crawling blood bags.