Topic: Teenage Crisis. [ Comments Wanted!]
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BB_Brona
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 Jun 26, 08 at 2:20pm
Teenage Crisis. [ Comments Wanted!]
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Please Leave comments
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I slumped into school. Sighing to myself and thinking to myself, another few weeks to face and then I’m free. Free for the summer. Free to do whatever I wish! Sarah and her bunch of “friends” shoved me aside to get past purposely knocking me over. “Oh, sorry Bróna didn’t see you there!” she said. She and her gang burst in to laughter. “Yeah sure you didn’t.” I muttered, as I got up and wiped the dirt off my uniform. As if she’d stayed long enough to hear my retort she and her girls were already down the hall flirting with some random guy in another year. B*itches I thought to myself. I continued walking, up the stairs, and into the mush of people trying to get their books out of their lockers. I pushed my way down to my lock 93D, the lowest locker to the ground. I was the person everyone stood on and crushed.
***BRING!***
S*** I thought There goes the bell, I’m gonna be late again. I scrambled for my key, tried to shove my books quickly into my bag. I got up five past nine, everyone was gone to class by now. I picked up my bag. RRRIIIIPPPPPPP. Oh God! How much worse can it get? I picked up my books, and threw my bag in the bin. I ran to class at top speed, dropping books and stopping to pick them up again, so it wasn’t actually very quick at all. I knocked, opened the door and braced myself. “Bróna! Your late. Again. This is the third time this week!” Mr. Jacobs said “Bróna, Detention”. “But Sir, my bag rip-“ “I don’t care your late for my class.” He cut across me. “Sit down now please”. I trudged to the back of the class and banged my books down on the desk. “Bróna do you want a write-out with that too?” Mr. Jacobs said quite annoyed with me. Sarah sniggered under her breath. She seemed to be writing something. “No Sir, sorry I-“ “Whats that Sarah?” Mr. Jacobs asked. “I-it’s a note, that B-Bróna gave me” She said all innocently. “Sir! I didn’t my-“. “Please show it to me Sarah”. Sarah handed him the note, his face turned from white to full blast red rage. I just thought oh S*** this is not good. He scrunched up the paper and turned to me, he had a face like a bull. “Sir” I began “I didn’t write that m-“ “BRÓNA GET OUT” he yelled. I got such a fright I fell off the chair. Everyone roared with laughter. I got up quickly and half ran towards the door. Mr. Jacobs followed me within two minutes after calming down the class. He shoved the scrunched up paper into my hands and said “Whats the meaning of this?” “Sir, I swear it wasn’t me! I don’t even know what it says” I pleaded. “WELL, open it up and read it to refresh your memory.”
This message was edited by BB_Brona on Sep 20 2008.
------------------- Tír gan teanga, tír gan anam. My Story!! Teenage Crisis - Updated 27/11/08 INACTIVE UNTIL FURTHER NOTICE!!
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baby_Lord
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 Jun 26, 08 at 2:47pm
re: Teenage Crisis. [ Comments Wanted!]
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I don't think there are supposed to be two of these stories, are there? They are the same thing. Please delete the other one and keep this one open. Thanks! 
A good start to a story. I feel sorry for Brona. Work on your grammar and watch putting two words together, i.e. Mr.Jacobs should probably be Mr. Jacobs. Also, you should press enter before someone talks, so it is easier to see when someone is speaking. Good Luck.
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Dust to Dust, Ashes to Ashes. Hallelujah, Amen. You are dismissed. And pass the mustard.
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BB_Brona
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 Jun 27, 08 at 1:11am
re: Teenage Crisis. [ Comments Wanted!]
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Ok thanks for the pointers i'll edit the first post and delete the other one i didnt mean to put two. - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - I carefully opened up the paper. Written on it was:
Sarah, Mr. Jacobs is such a dick for giving me a detention for being late! I was just a few minutes late. Like WTF? Mr. Jacobs is a dick, Pass it on. Bróna.
“I-I didn’t write this Sir, I-“ “Don’t give me that rubbish Bróna” He said. “Bróna I will suspend you unless you explain to me why you wrote this”. “But I didn’t! It must have been Sarah” I protested “Ok, I’m going to the principal and I’m ringing your parents” “Sir! It wasn’t me!!!” “Well then who was it? I don’t seem to have any other Brónas in the class, do I?” “No Sir.” I said dully knowing that he was never going to believe me over goody-two-shoes Sarah anyways. “Well fine then I won’t ring your parents but this is your last warning”
I stormed out of school at the end of the day, very annoyed with 3 detentions and 4 write-outs, and only one being my fault. UGH! I thought Why does everyone pick on me I have enough going on in my life without them butting in! I walked home. In the rain. Again. Like I always do in this crappy rainy country called Ireland. I opened the door and shouted “HI MOM”. I bounded up the stairs not waiting for any reply. Into my room and locked the door blasted my music and felt ok again. I took out my diary and began to write about what happened in school today.
Pure Waste Of Time. This message was edited by BB_Brona on Sep 06 2008.
------------------- Tír gan teanga, tír gan anam. My Story!! Teenage Crisis - Updated 27/11/08 INACTIVE UNTIL FURTHER NOTICE!!
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baby_Lord
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 Jun 27, 08 at 2:01am
Oh No! [rating 13s]
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Sounds like a normal girl. I am interested to see what happens next. Might I recommend that when you have a character think something to put it in italics? Good Luck!
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Dust to Dust, Ashes to Ashes. Hallelujah, Amen. You are dismissed. And pass the mustard.
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BB_Brona
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 Jun 27, 08 at 2:04am
re: Teenage Crisis. [ Comments Wanted!]
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Ok i'll edit that now thanks for the pointers 
------------------- Tír gan teanga, tír gan anam. My Story!! Teenage Crisis - Updated 27/11/08 INACTIVE UNTIL FURTHER NOTICE!!
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BB_Brona
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 Aug 25, 08 at 2:57pm
re: Teenage Crisis. [ Comments Wanted!]
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Dear Diary, School! What the hell is the point of me going? All that happens is me getting blamed for everything and picked on and bullied.
"Bróna!" My Mom shouted angrily at me from downstairs.
Uh oh, not again. I thought. I paused my music and hid my diary under the mattress of my bed. And made my way slowly down the stairs. My mothers faces was ablaze with anger.
"I've received another phone call from your principal, would you care to explain why you have 3 detentions and a suspension tomorrow.?" My mother demanded.
I swallowed hard and told her.... "It wasn't my fault it was Sarah Jones! She's always bullying me!" "Oh. More of the bloody Sarah Jones story! Would you give it a rest already, Sarah Jones is a lovely sweet girl and wouldn't hurt a fly" Thats what you think I thought, knowing she wouldn't have believed me because in adult eyes Sarah Jones is the perfect girl. 'Sweet and kind' and all straight A's. Sweet and kind? When pigs fly "Right that's it missy, your grounded and I'm taking your stereo for a week" "What?! But my stereo is the only comfort I have!" "Well learn to live without it for a week and tomorrow your not to leave the house while I'm gone and do all your homework and classwork I'll be checking them." "Whatever" I muttered.
This message was edited by BB_Brona on Sep 06 2008.
------------------- Tír gan teanga, tír gan anam. My Story!! Teenage Crisis - Updated 27/11/08 INACTIVE UNTIL FURTHER NOTICE!!
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bishtyBrambleshadow-my Misty is my shadow.true seeker   total posts: 1101 since: Apr 2008
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 Aug 25, 08 at 4:22pm
re: Teenage Crisis. [ Comments Wanted!]
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That's not fair! Stupid school, and stupid people...
Keep going!
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Credit to Jengem! Yay! That's a brilliant idea, Misty! Let's kill Megan...
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BB_Brona
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 Aug 26, 08 at 6:37am
re: Teenage Crisis. [ Comments Wanted!]
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Next Morning.
"Bróna get up!" My mother shouted. "ugh, mhh, I'm coming." I groaned.
Get up! Get dressed! Eat up! Go to school! The usual morning orders except since I've been suspended I can't go to school today, yet my mother makes me do the pointless work, like just think about it, when in real life are you going to use the minus B formula or sin, cos and tan? I just don't bloody get it!
"Bróna hurry up and start your homework, I have to go to work now bye honey" My mother shouted
"Bye mom" but the door had already slammed. I went down stairs, locked the front door and made myself some breakfast.
At around 11 o clock my phone started buzzing. A text from Jenny (My only friend) who wasn't in school yesterday, because her mother had just gone in to labour with her 5th child, I guess it would be born by now, the text read.
Wer R U? I Got 2 Tel u bout baby Lily!! x x x Received 11:04 from Jenny
Mr.J suspeded me, nt my fault it was sarah j, as usual. sry i'm sure u can cum 2 my house afta skool.x x x Sent 11:06 By Bróna
OMG i'll beat de crap outta her! ders de bell c u l8r x x x Received 11:09 From Jenny
K c u then. x x x Sent 11:11 By Bróna
This message was edited by BB_Brona on Sep 06 2008.
------------------- Tír gan teanga, tír gan anam. My Story!! Teenage Crisis - Updated 27/11/08 INACTIVE UNTIL FURTHER NOTICE!!
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BB_Brona
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 Sep 05, 08 at 3:03pm
re: Teenage Crisis. [ Comments Wanted!]
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I put my phone down on the table. I turned on the telly and flicked though the four lousy channels we have. Everyone else I know has sky, but my mam thinks its a waste of time and money, shes probably right cause we don't watch much telly anyways. I turned off the telly again. I checked my watch 11:16. Oh My God will this day ever end! I decided to try and catch on some sleep, well not really but I went to my room and reached instinctively for the stereo, damn it! I took out my book, Thanks for the memories by Cecila Ahern. I read a few pages then I drifted off to sleep.
This message was edited by BB_Brona on Sep 07 2008.
------------------- Tír gan teanga, tír gan anam. My Story!! Teenage Crisis - Updated 27/11/08 INACTIVE UNTIL FURTHER NOTICE!!
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xxKayleexx
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 Sep 06, 08 at 7:06am
re: Teenage Crisis. [ Comments Wanted!]
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Nice storie. Never would have guessed you'd be a writer.
Please continue ^^ Very good job.
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Kitty1999candyThe Sweetest Sin ♪forum fanatic    total posts: 408 since: Jul 2008
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 Sep 06, 08 at 9:03am
re: Teenage Crisis. [ Comments Wanted!]
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Pretty good! Way better then my story... The Music Box... I feel like I should delete thw whole thing! Only one person commented then there was a person who showed pointers all over my face. Anyways enough about my crappy story, your story is really good!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
------------------- Kathrine
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BB_Brona
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 Sep 06, 08 at 10:22am
re: Teenage Crisis. [ Comments Wanted!]
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Thanks. and Kitty1999candy I read the first bit of your story (duno if you've updated it and its good but I mightn't have commented because my computer doesnt always post what I post.
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I woke up when I heard the doorbell ringing like mad. Oh no Moms gonna kill me for not opening the door I quickly ran downstairs and unlocked the door. It was Jenny! "Oh my god I must be ringing the bell for, like, ten minutes!" She said as we hugged "Why didn't you answer, like, ten minutes ago?" Yeah Jenny says 'like' alot! "I was asleep!" "Well Oh my god! I need to tell you about Lily! Oh my god! Shes so small! I've got photos!" Shes says Oh my god a lot too. "Ohh!!! Lemme see!" I grabbed the white envelope she was holding in her hand. I tore it open. "Hey be careful!" "Awwwwwwwwww!" I said "Shes gorgous!"
The Front Door Slammed. My mam stormed in. "Bróna your grounded! Jenny go home!" "But mam!" "Bróna to your room! Jenny please go home!" Jenny scrambled to get her stuff, then ran out. I stormed up the stairs banging my feet extra loud. Childish, I know, but its not fair nothing ever goes my way.
This message was edited by BB_Brona on Sep 21 2008.
------------------- Tír gan teanga, tír gan anam. My Story!! Teenage Crisis - Updated 27/11/08 INACTIVE UNTIL FURTHER NOTICE!!
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IRMGARDnot-such-a-newbie    total posts: 27 since: Mar 2004
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 Sep 06, 08 at 4:30pm
re: Teenage Crisis. [ Comments Wanted!]
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please continue! I like your writing style, it seems like you can really hear her thoughts first hand. I'm still pondering the conclusion of this lil distressed teenager.
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BB_Brona
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 Sep 10, 08 at 9:28am
re: Teenage Crisis. [ Comments Wanted!]
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Thanks. Well I'm basing her(Bróna) a little on me.
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I woke up the next morning, I got up and picked up my thick red permanent marker and crossed of Friday the 23rd of June, yesterdays date. Yes only one week left I thought happily One week of school, homework, and Sarah Jones left. And most of all today way my birthday! I got dressed into my favourite outfit, my navy t-shirt that has a rock and a ruler on it and they're saying to each other "You Rock!" and "You Rule!", I put on my black jeans, yes I know people say navy and black clash, but I make them work, then I got my red silky jacket/coat, it went down halfway between my hips and knees. I went to my en-suite bathroom, I brushed my hair into a high ponytail, I put on my little skull hair slide and a broken hearted earrings. My favourite necklace made out of safety-pins. I'm not emo or goth I just like things like that.
I went downstairs, into the kitchen where my mam was up making my favourite brekkie, pancakes! Mmmmm.... I love them with a dash of honey on top! "Happy Birthday dear!" My mam said cheerfully "I'm sorry about yesterday I had a bad day at work and-" "And you accidentally took it out on me." I said with my voice full of sarcasm. "Theres no need to be like that" My mam said a little taken back "Oh! your present is over there on the chair" Goody a present I thought sarcastically, I would have said it out loud but I didn't want to upset my mam because my birthday used to be my favourite day of the year until......
This message was edited by BB_Brona on Sep 21 2008.
------------------- Tír gan teanga, tír gan anam. My Story!! Teenage Crisis - Updated 27/11/08 INACTIVE UNTIL FURTHER NOTICE!!
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BB_Brona
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 Sep 11, 08 at 7:45am
re: Teenage Crisis. [ Comments Wanted!]
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I'm hoping someone will comment before I continue.
Please?
------------------- Tír gan teanga, tír gan anam. My Story!! Teenage Crisis - Updated 27/11/08 INACTIVE UNTIL FURTHER NOTICE!!
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