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Working_Girl
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Magnet (Incest/romance, 13+, C&C gets cookies) |
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Hey guys, I read over Adolscence and decided on making Magnet. Here is this link to Adolscence, please read it before reading this. If you have a problem with romance, tragedy, or incest, then don't read it. Also, the whole story is not incest and don't go crazy about how its "wrong", that's likes saying being gay and lesbian is wrong, which it isn't.
Also, in later chapters, you may be able to tell that this was based off of a famous Shakespeare story Magnet Chapter 1 Its unforgivable of us. I wanted him to hold me, to tell me, confirm for me, that the love we share is not a mistake, that its true and genuine. I want everything, the world, to change, just for me. For him. Time felt as if stopped, two people embracing one another. My head rested on his chest, each of his distinct, individual beats made me want to synchronize with him. I wanted to drown in this moment, for time to stop, I could die right now with no regrets. His hot breath dissolved as he pulled away, I had the urge to cry, but in a happy way. I can't even remember how this kind of passion began to blaze. It just...did. Ever since it did start, if I recall correctly, since we were thirteen, we hid in the alley. Our backs propped against the cold, graffiti ridden, brick wall. His cool arm draped over my shoulder, he held me closely. One simple peck on his cheek made it so his lips were like magnets to mine as they drew in each other. His lips were soft, but cold, they tasted like frost. I giggled as my face turned a crimson red, thinking of this still made me squeal. Then, he walked in. "Hey." He said softly to me, I smiled when he sat down on my bed next to me "How was school?" "It was fine, I met some new girls on the swim team." I said, my face becoming an intense shade of red. He laughed slightly, then sent me a welcoming smile "Nice too hear, how was that test?" "Perfect. I aced it." I said, sitting up from my previous position against the bed post and sat next to him. "So that means you're G and T?" He asked, but not the least bit surprised. "Indeed, I made it into Gifted and Talented." I said, smiling brightly. "Thats great!" He exclaimed and pecked my cheek softly. I giggled "Jet, mom could walk in at any moment." He rolled his eyes and grinned "You know I don't care about that." "Hmph, sure you don't" I returned his toothy smile and sarcasm. "Heh, whatever. Here, I made it composition today." He said, putting a slice of notebook paper on my lap, picked up his backpack and left the room. I waved goodbye and picked up the paper, reading it word for word... When we let go of our partners loving hand We embrace into a most passionate kiss. Yet, if what we have is unforgivable Then all the more we want. If its to "Odd" for you to handle Then I will make it right for you. Keep myself confined within you and want me more and more each passing day. This was written in stone for me and you. There is no turning back I found out After knowing you. I held the note close to myself and fell backward into the covers. Sighing, I stared at the neat writing of his, his voice ringing in my head. This had to be right. This, our love, is not a mistake. ------------------- ![]() Signature/Icon made by: Me/WG | |
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iCloud
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re: Magnet (Incest/romance, 13+, C&C gets cookies) |
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This is really different from other stories that I've read, it's quite interesting so far from reading this and the prequel. Though at first when I read the prequel I thought it was a very strange story, but I also think it was quite a good story because it's different. (: Now, onto the chapter; there were a few mistakes, you should proof read your work before you post it.
There needs to be a comma before 's' in 'It's'. quote Working_GirlThis somehow doesn't sound right, but I don't know how to put it right. quote Working_Girl This message was edited by iCloud on Oct 28 2009. ------------------- ![]() trying to find my happiness. | |
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gillgirl113
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re: Magnet (Incest/romance, 13+, C&C gets cookies) |
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All I can say is WOW! I absolutely LOVED "Adolescence". To me, it was something so unique and different, but absolutely captivating and romantic. So far I am REALLY impressed with Magnet too! I love the way to tied in the title and it seems like a really strong beginning. Keep up the great work! Can't wait to see more!
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TraceSupaKriken
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re: Magnet (Incest/romance, 13+, C&C gets cookies) |
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Although this is different, it is actually really good. And I'd love to see more. :} -Kim ------------------- Ill swim as the water rises up the sun is sinking down
and now all I can see are the planets in a row suggesting its best that I slow down | |
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BluAnimal
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re: Magnet (Incest/romance, 13+, C&C gets cookies) |
quote Working_GirlLOL. quote quote ------------------- ![]() | |
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Sullyone
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re: Magnet (Incest/romance, 13+, C&C gets cookies) |
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I think that you just tried to make incest seem like it was right just before the chapter.
Bit strange, but anyway, moving on. I think this has an interesting potential, and hope you're a good enough writer not to make it end up with six-toed offspring and an illegal wedding in a foreign country. I think you should be much better than that though, and I'll be reading, eagerly awaiting the next chapter. ------------------- ![]() I cut open my iPod, to see where the music lives. | |
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Neopets
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re: Magnet (Incest/romance, 13+, C&C gets cookies) |
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Great job Chels!
It's a very good read. Post the next chapter soon. ------------------- | |
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Working_Girl
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re: Magnet (Incest/romance, 13+, C&C gets cookies) |
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Woot-Woot! Alrightty, before I forget, the song Jenny sings is Reset By Ayaka Hirahara. Also, I finished a book and soon after heard a song that insprired a new story, so expect one to some up soon. Alright, enjoy chapter two (Filler
Magnet Chapter 2 I twirled my fingertips against the clear surface of the water, watching the ripples dance and leaves sink and float. The hem of my skirt swayed softly in sync with the wind as I got up from the pond, the ripples made fading quickly. I heard the crunches of twigs and fallen leaves under my feet as I walked, heading home. Stepping onto the stone steps of our front door, I twisted the rusty doorknob and stepped onto the grey carpet, kicking off my shoes. It was a few seconds before I noticed that music was playing, a soft melody hit my ears like rocks. The piano in the living room, the one that hadn't been played in years, was suddenly bursting into beautiful notes. I walked into the living room, to find Jet, his fingers swiftly sliding from key to key, making a song. "Jet...Your playing!" I exclaimed, running over to the sleek black piano, his fingers stopped pressing keys. "Yeah, I decided to brush up on my playing, since I'm taking an advanced music class this year." He said to me, running his hand across the top of the instrument. "It was lovely." I said, my fingers sweeping along the last few keys. "You think so?" He asked me. "I think I was a little rusty." "No, it was perfect." I replied softy. His fingers began to paw at the keys, playing a random melody by his ear. Then his other hand and fingers joined in and he began to play whatever he though sounded nice. I felt myself moving back and forth to the rhythm, my eyes shut, I listened to his playing. "Do you like this?" He asked me, continuing to play. "Yes." I responded without thinking "Its so calming." "Sing." He demanded, beginning to play a familiar song. I thought for a moment. What were the lyrics again? "Though the flower petals are falling. They added color to the city. And as the winds forbade There is no need for worries. For the seasons will return. The radiant moon we watched together That time beckoned me so." I began to sing, he began to play faster, so I sang faster to the rhythm. "We will not realize What is precious until we've lost If only wish can be fulfilled, I would say 'goodbye' to my old self." "What is this I hear?" a voice called from upstairs, me and my brother stopped. "That was wonderful." "Mom, you heard it?" I called to her, she began down the steps. "Of course I did, and it was great." She said, walking to me and Jet. "Heh, thanks." Said Jet, I could hear the pride in his voice. "That was great playing Jet." Mom said "And sweetheart, I didn't know you could sing like that!" "Yeah, well..." I said, blushing. ------------------- ![]() Signature/Icon made by: Me/WG | |
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XxAlexxxS
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re: Magnet (Incest/romance, 13+, C&C gets cookies) |
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hmmm, man I am still wondering what going to happen next. I hope they don't experiment or anything. I'm taking a guess here but is this a letting go story. Great job though, I have read the other prequel story.
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