Being on the toilet is boring, so I bring my iPod and jam out while I play Solitaire. Today I saw that my battery bar was red, and it caused me to ponder how many bowel movements it takes for me to consume a full battery bar. My first instinct was along the lines of 7 or 8. But that seems like not very much time. Then again, sometimes the music and games cause me to stay on the toilet after I'm done... I always finish my game of Solitaire, and I play slowly and thoughtfully. I wonder if my roommates think I'm constipated?

*bleep*ING WIN.

Uh...I can't tell if you're serious about writing or not.

(It's serious in its own way. That was supposed to be funny, and, hopefully, it was. More will come when I have more funny thoughts. The title is pretty inaccurate, as this will really just be lolz, but it sounded good and I thought it would attract attention, which it did. Success!)

Oh yeah, and I think I might count the number of toilet sits it takes for my battery bar to get emptied after I've charged my iPod this time. The question is how to measure it. Maybe I'll scratch marks in the toilet bowl with my toothbrush. It's the only chisel-like object in reach while I'm on the loo.

When I had first read this, I thought you just got lost on your way to Loungin'.

This reminds me of a book I read once that had no point to it at all. Not that every story has to have a point, mind you, I'm not saying it's bad or that you HAVE to have a point.

quote djminkus777

(It's serious in its own way. That was supposed to be funny, and, hopefully, it was. More will come when I have more funny thoughts. The title is pretty inaccurate, as this will really just be lolz, but it sounded good and I thought it would attract attention, which it did. Success!)

Oh yeah, and I think I might count the number of toilet sits it takes for my battery bar to get emptied after I've charged my iPod this time. The question is how to measure it. Maybe I'll scratch marks in the toilet bowl with my toothbrush. It's the only chisel-like object in reach while I'm on the loo.

You sir. Are the greatest genius this forum has ever seen. Cheers.

(Thanks for the confirmation.)

ESPN: The Extremely Stupid People Network. OR: Erroneous Sports like Poker and Nascar. I haven't watched ESPN by my own choice in a very long time. I'm a hockey fan, but ESPN doesn't like hockey. Thus the above acronyms.

This made me lol

Please Continue..

Recently my friend and I have been coming up with words and phrases that involve the combination of a word related to laughing and a completely unrelated word. Below the things we have come up with are listed, followed by the word or phrase from which it originates.

gigglebyte - gigabyte
.mteehee - .MP3
chortlesaurus
teeheerex - T-rex
chucklewagon - chuck wagon
I want to ride my bichuckle - "I Want To Ride My Bicycle" by Queen
lolzipop
roflwaffle
humorshima - Hiroshima
Chuckle Norris - Duh
Doctrine and Chucklenuts - Doctrine and Covenants, a book of scripture in the Mormon church

Chucklewagons make me chortlesaur.

The cafeteria was very busy today and so I had to sit at a table with some people that I didn't know, one boy and two girls. At one point, the boy held out a piece of turkey to one of the girls and asked her to touch it. The only explanation I could think of was that he wanted to be able to say that she touched his meat. Turns out his meat was all cold and disgusting because it had been sitting on a plate for a while. It was awkward.

Also, when I was almost done and ready to leave, the two girls (the boy had already left) got up to get ice cream. I started scribing a goodbye message to them in the apricot sauce left in my plate: "Giraffes attacked--had to leave," but they got back before I was done. I quickly erased the message and politely excused myself. Disappointment.

May interest you in helping us in the good fight over at /b/?

(I'm pretty sure it would be blocked from this location. I'm at BYU, the Mormon college. And TBH, I don't have much interest in /b/. sry)

In other news, I have made my signature utterly ironic by placing a narcissistic quote above my humility-centric banner.

Good job man.

Football announcers get paid to talk about sacks and balls being handled by fat men. So you're a fag if you don't like football.