Well, like I said, a character does not 'need' green hair unless it is important to the story. Even in fiction (for humans mostly).

But of course, there are other types of fantasy characters which one can develop, but they should still be believable.

Le Café Bleu :: Writing Tutorial :: Poetry » Terms

It takes just as much effort (if not more) to read poetry than to write it. In explications of certain poems, if you are inexperienced with poetry, you might find yourself baffled by the use of seemingly alien terms to describe such simple verse; my effort with this tutorial is to help you understand a lot of these terms. If you know of something that can be added, then please, don't hesitate to contact me.

Alliteration: The repetition of consonant sounds in a group of words close together. Initial alliteration is alliteration at the beginning of words, and initial/hidden alliteration is when it occurs within words. Paul Griffin's take:

Some writers rate readers as rotten and ratty
And treat them to tricks that are terribly tatty.
Alliteration attempts to achieve,
By beating the bleeders until they believe,
Or glibly and gushingly giving them grounds,
Since they see such a sequence of similar sounds,
For taking the tale they are telling as true
And accepting the author without more ado.
Does it work? Well, it won't when the wise are awake;
But they sink to sleep sometimes, for sanity's sake,
And then the tendentious all talk of technique
And the poorest of poets is praised to the peak.

Lady Luck, labour lovingly: leave me alive;
Send the sages to sleep! So, my song may survive.

Wow, BMX, you've been busy!

I'm gonna hope I make some sense and doesn't sound too corny...

The character development thing is kind of an interesting issue, as depending on the needs of your story sometimes you have to have characters that are unrealistic or don't develop for effect. You have to look at your story as a whole and know what you are trying to saying, and whether your story requires archetypes or people. The most realistic characters are hardest to write, especially if you need more than one, however, that doesn't always mean your story needs them. IF your story is more like a fable or folkloreish, a tale of some sort, or some kind of satire it's fine with mostly archetypes and few, if any real characters, but if you're writing a drama you usually need nearly all your main characters to be realistic.

To write a truely realistic character is not easy, and I have read few books that seem to capture all the intricacies of its characters' personalities, some that have are Catcher and the Rye, and The Brothers Karamazov. The thing is, people are so complex, and so simple, such series of contradictions, that when you truely try to analyze your characters and create you end up weaving them into each other,as well all face some of the same inner conflicts, and you're mainly drawing from your own perspective. Characters can be a like, in many ways, but they have to feel different, and that isn't always easy when you try and make them all really realistic.

Maybe I'm not the best one to give advice in this department as my stories have many characters and often I have trouble seperating them, but when making any realistic character I start with an extreme, but then water it down, more or less depending on how much of an archetype I want him to be depending on his purpose in the story. For example, maybe I take the feeling of being bitter, and remember everything I feel or think when I'm very bitter and transform those into character traits, then you soften this by adding in random quirks you see in other people and a few softer emotions, and slowly this character pulls away from yourself into something new. It's hard to explain, but you don't need to list different personality traits, you just have to learn how to feel for a certain personality. Then when you write as that character you remember the emotion you based it on, but remember to add smaller, even sometimes contradictory details about them.

A lot of times it has to do with stripping yourself down to one emotion and then building back up around it.

But really the easiest realistic character for one to write as is themselves, and I'll admit that one of my main characters in my writing is very much like me, and product of many years of living in my own world. However, when you do this, you must also keep in mind the perspective of the character. Essentially, they could be exactly like you, but you have keep in mind what kind of life you've given them and the things they would have seen. Like with that character I mentioned before who is a lot like me, when I write as her I have to keep in mind, she may be me, but that doesn't mean she sees things the same way. A character can have the same personality as you, but they'll never truely (and probably shouldn't) be the same exact person unless you are writing a biography.

The character I mentioned before has less education than me, therefore probably more ignorant than myself, this character doesn't have television or movies, they may have a greater fear of the unknown, than myself. So basically, you can give a character whatever personality traits you like, but to really keep them realistic, you need to mold their perspective and attitude on their own experiences, which is why I like to think of histories to all my characters, even if you never have time to write them down in the story.

And this is going to sound funny, but treat your realistic characters as you would people. Learn to walk a mile in their shoes, and don't catigorize them so quickly; give them room to grow, and occaisionally let them break from their molds as all real people do, and try to always keep their background and moods in mind.

This sounds really complicated, but like I've said before, I believe that few authors acheive truely realistic characters, and a lot of times you don't have to have any or you only need one really good character, but it is good to experiment as well, to learn to watch, to create, and most of all to be different people.

all right, thanks for all the advice. I think I've got a fair grasp on it now.. let me know what you think of this story's characters.

ummmm i dont really understand this place do we advertise our work to gather fans and such or is it like every other thread? and i know this is probablly off topic but i dont know what to do i need to ask a question here it is: How do you change the name of your thread?

This thread is for tutorials and general assistance with writing.

Aero, that was an awesome description. I particularly liked the part about stripping yourself down to one emotion and building it back up.

On the other hand, most of my characters, I think, are not based on my own personality at all. I start out with a generic form and then proceed to build it up with details which are rarely based upon myself.

Some people, I imagine, have enough innate talent to be capable of creating incredible work without ripping themselves apart over it. I, for better or for worse, am not one of those people. To write, I need to make it an obsession. I eavesdrop. Yeah, that's my only writing secret. I listen to people on the street and in the halls having casual, boring conversations. I'm hoping that it makes things all come out more realistic in the end.

Thanks Sierra, heh, I'm really nosy too!

Well really with any really good work of art whether it's writing or drawing or whatever has as much to do with how much work/passion you put into it as talent because everyone's idea of good art is so different...

Le Café Bleu :: Writing Tutorial :: Prose » Terms

Prose has another aspect of terms to it; my effort with this tutorial is to help you understand a lot of these terms. A lot of poetic terms can be applied to prose; check the poetry terms tutorial higher on the page. Examples are in brackets.

If you know of something that can be added, then please, don't hesitate to contact me.

Allegory: A tale in prose or verse in which characters, actions, or settings, represent abstract ideas or moral qualities. [Nathaniel Hawthorne’s “Dr. Heidegger’s Experiment”]

Almanac: A book of months and days for one year, containing weather predictions, a wide variety of miscellaneous information, and, often, proverbs. [Benjamin Franklin’s Poor Richard almanacs]

Anecdote: A very short story that is told to make a point. [Benjamin Franklin’s Autobiography]

Antagonist: A person or force opposing the protagonist in a drama or narrative. [Moby Dick in Melville’s Moby-Dick and Professor Moriarty in Doyle’s Sherlock Holmes mysteries]

Aphorism: A terse, pointed statement expressing some wise or clever statement about life. [He that lives upon hope will die fasting. (Benjamin Franklin)]

Aside: In drama, a short speech spoken by a character in an undertone or directly to the audience. [Captain Ahab’s aside to the audience after gaining Starbuck on his side in Melville’s Moby Dick: “Speak, but speak!--Aye, aye, thy silence, then, that voices thee. (Aside) Something shot from my dilated nostrils, and he has inhaled it in his lungs. Starbuck now is mine; cannot oppose me now, without rebellion."]

Autobiography: A person’s account of his or her own life. [Benjamin Franklin’s Autobiography and The Education of Henry Adams]

Biography: A detailed account of a person’s life written by another person. Impressionistic Biography creates an impression of the person being examined by conveying his or her essence. [John Dos Passos’ U.S.A.]

Brag: See Tall Tale

Character: A person—or an animal, a thing, or a natural force presented as a person—apearing in a literary work. To make the actions of a character believable, a writer must provide motivation, the stated or implied reason behind the character’s behavior. A round character is one who is “well-rounded,” having a multidimensional personality, etc., while a flat character is two-dimensional, non-interesting character. Stock/stereotyped characters are those that appear so often that their nature is immediately familiar to a reader or audience. A static character is one who does not change through a work, but a dynamic character does change.

Characterization: The means by which a writer reveals a character’s personality. Direct Characterization involves characterization through direct statements revealing the author’s idea of the character and through a physical description of the character, while indirect characterization involves characterization through the character’s actions, thoughts, and speeches, and what other think or say about the character.

Chorus: In drama, one or more characters who comment on the action. [The Stage Manager in Thornton Wilder’s Our Town]

Classicism: A movement or tendency in art, literature, and music reflecting the principles manifested in the art of ancient Greece and Rome. [The Declaration of Independence]

Climax: The decisive point in a narrative or drama; the point of greatest intensity or interest. [When Sobel confesses his love for Miriam to Feld in Bernard Malamud’s “The First Seven Years”]

Comedy: In general, a literary work that ends happily. [Eugene O’Neill’s Ah, Wilderness!]

Conflict: A struggle between two opposing forces or characters in a short story, novel, play, or narrative poem. External (man vs. man, man vs. society, and man vs. nature) and internal (man vs. himself) conflict exist.

Denouement: The outcome of a plot. Also known as resolution. The denouement is that part of a story, novel, or play in which conflicts are resolved and the protagonist’s fortunes are decided.

Description: The type of writing that deals with the appearance ofa person, an object, or a place. [“They lived in a forlorn-looking house that stood alone and had an air of starvation. A few straggling savin-trees, emblems of sterility, grew near it; no smoke ever curled from its chimney; no traveller stopped at its door. A miserable horse, whose ribs were as articulate as the bars of a gridiron, stalked about a field, where a thin carpet of moss, scarcely covering the ragged beds of pudding-stone, tantalized and balked his hunger…” in Washington Irving’s “The Devil and Tom Walker”]

Dialect: The characteristic speech of a particular region or social group. [“So he flew off and fetched another acorn and dropped it in, and tried to flirt his eye to the hole quick enough to see what become of it, but he was too late. He held his eye there as much as a minute; then he raised up and sighed, and says, 'Confound it, I don't seem to understand this thing, no way; however, I'll tackle her again’” in Mark Twain’s “Baker’s Bluejay Yarn”]

Diction: A writer’s choice of words, particularly for clarity, effectiveness, and precision. [“In the woods, we return to reason and faith. There I feel that nothing can befall me in life, — no disgrace, no calamity, (leaving me my eyes,) which nature cannot repair. Standing on the bare ground, — my head bathed by the blithe air, and uplifted into infinite space, — all mean egotism vanishes…” from Ralph Waldo Emerson’s Nature: an elevated, formal diction]

Epigram: A short, witty statement in prose or verse. [“A man being sometimes more generous when he has but a little money than when he has plenty, perhaps thro' fear of being thought to have but little.” (Benjamin Franklin)]

Essay: A prose work, usually short, that deals with a subject in a limited way and expresses a particular point of view.

Exposition: The kind of writing that is intended primarily to present information. [The Stage Manager in Thornton Wilder’s Our Town]

Expressionism: A movement in literature and art that emphasized the life of themind and feelings rather than the realistic, external details of everyday life. [Expressionistic plays of Swedish playwright August Strindberg]

Fable: A brief story that is told to present a moral, or practical lesson. [Aesop’s Fables]

Falling Action: Shows the reversal of fortune for the protagonist.

Farce: A type of comedy based on a farfetched humorous situation, often with ridiculous or stereotyped characters.

Flashback: A scene in a short story, a novel, or a play tha tinterrupts the action to show an event that happened earlier. [Helen White’s recollection of a summer walk with George Willard in Sherwood Anderson’s “Sophistication”]

Foil: A character who sets off another character by contrast. In John Updike’s story, “The Lucid Eye in Silver Town,” the narrator’s father and uncle serve as foils to each other. The father is passive but cleareyed and wise while the uncle is confident and compelling but a bit shallow.

Folklore: Traditional songs, myths, legends, fables, fairy tales, proverbs, and riddles composed anonymously and either written down or passed on by word-of-mouth from generation to generation. [Traditional ballads, Indian songs, spirituals]

Foreshadowing: The use of hints or clues in a narrative to suggest what action is to come. [Key element in suspense]

Form: The structure and organization of a literary work, as distinct from its content, which is what the work is about.

Gothic: A term that describes the use in fiction of grotesque, glooy settings (often castles) and ysterious, violent, and supernatural occurrences to create suspense and awe. [Many of Edgar Allan Poe’s short stories, such as “The Cask of Amontillado.”]

Harlem Renaissance: A flowering of black writing, art, and usic in the 1920s. [Poets included Charles McKay, Langston Hughes, and Jean Toomer.]

Incongruity: The joining of opposites to create an unexpected situation. [Incongruity is often used for comic effect, as in Mark Twain’s “The Notorious Jumping Frog of Calaveras County.”]

Irony: A contrast or an incongruity between what is stated and what is meant, or between what is expected to happen and what actually happens. Verbal irony is irony in which a writer or speaker says one thing and means something entirely different. Dramatic irony is irony in which a reader or an audience perceives something that a character in the story or play does not know. Irony of situation is irony in which the writer shows a discrepancy between the expected result of some action or situation and its actual result.

Journal: A kind of autobiographical writing, generally a day-by-day record of events in a person’s life and of that person’s reflections. [William Byrd’s The History of the Dividing Line]

Literary Letter: A letter that is deliberately written to be read by a wide audience. [Michel Guillaume Jean de Crevecoeur’s Letters from an American Farmer]

Local Color: The use of specific details describing the dialect, dress, customs, and scenery associated with a particular region or section of the country. [Bret Harte uses local color of the West in his short story, “The Outcasts of Poker Flat”]

Melodrama: A drama that has stereotyped characters, exaggerated emotions, and a conflict that pits an all-good hero or heroine against an all-evil villain.

Metonymy: A figure of speech in which something very closely associated with a thing is used to stand for or suggest the thing itself. [“Three sails came into the harbor” (Instead of three boats)]

Monologue: An extended speech by a character ina play, short story, novel, or narrative poem. Soliloquys are monologues in which the character is “thinking aloud.”
Mood: The prevailing feeling or emotional climate of a literary work, often developed, at least in part, through descriptions of setting. [Atmosphere of gloom in E. A. Poe’s “The Fall of the House of Usher”]

Motif: A recurring feature (such as a name, an image, or a phrase). [Selling your soul to devil in return for some worldly possession (in “The Devil and Tom Walker,” “The Devil and Daniel Webster,” and The Life and Tragedy of Dr. Faustus]

Myth: A story, often about immortals and sometimes connected with religious rituals, that attempts to give meaning to the mysteries of the worlds. [Greek mythology]

Narration: The kind of writing or speaking that tells a story.

Narrator: One who narrates, or tells, a story. You can refer to Jill’s tutorial on the first page for points-of-view and narrators.

Naturalism: An extreme form of realism. [Steinbeck’s The Grapes of Wrath]

Novel: A book-length fictional prose narrative, having many characters and, often, a complex plot. [Twain’s The Adventures of Huckleberry Finn]

Oral Humor: A type of humor achieved in writing through representing the actual speech of a character, often including mispronunciations, grammatical errors, and colorful expressions.

Oral Literature: Literature not written down but passed from generation to genation through performance or word-of-mouth. [Spirituals, Indian songs, ballads]

Oratory: Formal public speaking and literature that grows out of public speeches. [Patrick Henry’s “Speech in the Virginia Convention” and Abraham Lincoln’s “Gettysburg Address”]

Ornate Style: A highly elaborate style of writing popular in England and America in the seventeenth and eighteenth centuries. [Difficult vocabulary, intricate sentence structure, complex figures of speech, and obscure allusions]

Oxymoron: A figure of speech that combines opposite or contradictory ideas or terms, as in “sweet sorrow,” or “wise fool.”

Parable: See Allegory.

Paradox: A statement that reveals a kind of turth, although it seems at first to be self-contradictory and untrue. [Emily Dickinson’s “Much Madness is Divinest Sense”]

Parallelism: The use of phrases, clauses, or sentences that are similar or complementary in structure or in meaning. [“We have petitioned; we have remonstrated; we have supplicated; we have prostrated…” from Patrick Henry’s “Speech in the Virginia Convention]

Parody: The humorous imitation of a work of literature, art, or music.

Pathos: The quality in a work of literature that arouses a feeling of pity, or sorrow, or compassion in the reader. [Also sentimentality, but that is false, while pathos is genuine.]

Persona: The person whos peaks in a literary work, from the Latin word for mask. [A persona of a “projector” in Jonathan Swift’s A Modest Proposal]

Persuasion: The type of speaking or writing that is intended to make its audience adopt a certain opinion, or perform an action, or do both. [Patrick Henry’s “Speech in the Virginia Convention”]

Plain Style: A simple and clear style of writing which began as a revolt against ornate style. [Puritans advocated this style—common vocabulary, simple sentence structure, clear and vivid images, and direct and precise statement.

Plot: The sequence of events or actions in a short story, novel, play, or narrative poem.

Point of View: The vantage point from which a narrative is told. Refer to Jill’s tutorial on the first page for further analysis of point of view.

Protagonist: The central character of a drama, novel, short story, or narrative poem. [Daniel Webster in “The Devil and Daniel Webster”]

Realism: The attempt in literature and art to represent life as it really is, without sentimentalizing or idealizing it.

Revelation: The focal point of many narratives. [In Tim O’Brien’s “Field Trip,” the revelation occurs at the end, when the narrator’s feelings about his wartime experience are resolved.

Rhetoric: The art of using language for persuasion.

Rising action: The action in a novel, short story, play, or narrative poem that rises to the climax.

Satire: A kind of writing that holds up to ridicule or contempt the weaknesses and wrongdoings of individuals, groups, institutions, or humanity in general. [Swift’s Gulliver’s Travels and The Wizard of Oz]

Setting: The time and place in which events in a short story, novel, play or narrative poem occur.

Slave Narrative: An autobiographical account written by a former slave. [Accounts from Frederick Douglass, Olaudah Equiano, and Harriet A. Jacobs]

Spirtual: A folk song, usually on a religious theme.

Staging (Stagecraft): All the devices except dialogue which a dramatist uses to communicate to an audience. [Scenery, costume, gesture and movement, and lighting.]

Stream of Consciousness: The style of writing that attempts to imitate the antural flow of a character’s thoughts, feelings, reflections,memories, and mental images, as the character experiences them. [Katherine Anne Porter’s “The Jilting of Granny Weatherall”]

Style: A writer’s characteristic way of writing, determined by the choice of words, the arrangement of words in sentences, and the relationship of the sentences to one another.

Suspense: The quality of a short story, novel, play, or narrative poem that makes the reader or audience uncertain or tense about the outcome of events.

Symbol: Any object, person, place, or action that has a meaning in itself and that also stands for something larger than itself, such as a quality, an attitude, a belief, or a value.

Tall Tale: A humorous story that is outlandishly exaggerated. One special form is the brag, in which person bragging makes incredible claims.

Theme: The general idea or insight about life that a writer wishes to convey in a literary work.

Tone: The attitude a writer takes toward his or her subject, characters, and readers.

Tragedy: In general, a literary work in which the protagonist meets an unhappy or disastrous end.

Transcendentalism: A philosophy which holds that basic truths can be reached through intuition rather than through reason.

Understatement: A restrained statement in which less is said than is meant. [If it’s ten degrees below zero and someone says, “It’s a bit cool out today,” it’s an understatement]

Utopian Novel: A type of novel which arose from the technological revolution preceding World War I, depicting a perfect future society achieved through science.

Vernacular: The everyday spoken language of a people ina particular locality, and writing that imitates or suggests such language.

Voice: A language style adopted by an author to create the effect of a particular speaker.

I didn't see haiku in this Tutorial.
Will you add it?

Thanks; it's added under the poetry tutorial.

Hmm.. could I discuss a matter here? Well, the world is getting much more challenging as the generations pass.. and so has writing. Stories that basically have the same line really won't be something new anymore.. or would it? For example, if we have a book that's about witches and wizards as harry Potter and the writing quality is on the same level.. people would just go "Bah.. just the same old same old.."

Or perhaps not? Well, my teacher once said that William SHakespeare is perhaps the greatest writer known, cause he has written everything, from tragedy all the way to comedy. So.. if there's nothing new.. How are we going to make a bestseller? And not just bestseller, and book or writing that might just surpass the legends of the past.. you get what I mean?

I think that the critics would probably label it as cliche. But I also find that most readers like cliche. It gets them interested, being a subject that they like and soemthing they can relate to. However, you can capture a reader by adding lots of plot twist, exciting characters, and important events to make it original.

yes, most definetly, reader's like the cliche' most original authors rarely get published. Lets face it, most people want to read the same played out story lines they've heard all their life.

Yes, often you do have those who like the same sort of story over and over, but then you can also have those you love a new twist in the "maze of life". For those readers, you have to try something new or different to get their attention. And at that point, a trite story line won't work.

I'm one of those who can't stand the same story over and over, so I try to never write the same thing. That's the toughest thing to do in my book. But if you haven't seen the movies being produced lately, more and more people are turning back to the ideas that worked in our grandparents' time. Look at the movie Spiderman. It came from a comic strip written how many years ago? And Underworld, just a new age version of Romeo and Juliet, but do you see how popular it was?

Pretty much no matter what you do, there's going to be someone who's "seen that too many times", "heard it before", or just plain doesn't like it. In the end you just have to make up your mind, and decide which part of the audience you want to play to. You have to choose if you want to be completely original in every form, which is becoming closer to impossible each day, or if you want to use something that you know can work, because it has been shown acceptance in the past.

Well, I guess I'm going to be the first to post an excerpt of a novel I'm writing. I'll take ALL critisms, good and bad, and remember it's only a first draft:

quote Airen

It was night. The moon was high in the dark navy sea that is the night sky. There were many stars on this night, twinkling in the night like candles. Such was the light provided by the stars and moon that there was no need for a lantern when walking along the Great Way. Light reflected off two swords attached to the belts of two men riding on horses in the middle of the road. They were messengers, approaching the halfway point of their long journey. Ahead of them lay Huran Forest, a tropical forest where the climate suddenly changed. The air was warmer here then in their homeland, which was 300 leagues north. As thy approached this forest and left the Plains of Ruran and the Great Way behind them, their senses became more acute, and subconsciously both of the men slowly lowered a hand to the hilt of their swords.
2 leagues into the forest would be the small town of Banra, the point at which so many messengers had before been welcomed. But there were foul things in the forest these days, and the messengers rarely made it to Banra anymore. Even if the messengers reached Banra, they would have to reveal their crest to the watchmen, and also reveal themselves to any evil eyes watching. The risk involved in travelling to Minaclad had greatly increased in the last decade.
The two men were of average height. The one to the right was slightly taller then the other and both had long brown hair. They both wore green cloaks which bore the crest of their peoples underneath, concealed from anybody watching. The crest was an extravagant C with two swords crossing through it. They wore simple brown leather tunics underneath the cloak, and had a leather belt which held the scabbard of their swords. Both of them had daggers concealed in some part of their body, but neither carried a bow and arrow. A shield was strapped to their backs, and they rode their horses with no saddle.
They slowed the horses down to a canter as they approached the forest. They came closer together and started whispering, as if they feared being overheard.
‘Do you realise that we’re the tenth pair they have sent to Minaclad? None of the others returned, and no word has been heard from Minaclad for 3 months,’ the smaller of the two said, looking around him in fear. The taller nodded, and said in a deep voice,
‘Yes, I know, Shamun. My brother was sent out 3 weeks ago. I have heard that they are even contemplating building boats to brave the Atlan Sea in order to get a message to Minaclad. There is some evil brewing.’
‘But what, Tolin?’
‘Felna only knows. But rest easy, soon we shall be in bed in the finest inn in Banra!’
‘Maybe we won’t make it that far…’ Shamun whispered; fear etched on his every feature. Tolin merely hung his head.
‘Maybe not…’ he whispered.
As he said these words, a breeze blew up from the south, and with it the messengers saw clouds. But there was also something else, a smell that only the messengers could pick up.
‘You smell that?’ whispered Shamun.
‘Burning…’ Tolin replied. At the same time they heard church bells being sounded, and the screams of women. The messengers looked at eachother in shock and simultaneously shouted.
‘Banra is under attack!’ The clouds were rapidly blotting out all the stars, as if a blackout was occurring in the sky. The messengers seemed to be paralysed by shock, listening to the screams and the crackle of burning wood. Suddenly there was no light, and it began to rain. Even though the air was warm, a shiver went up the spine of both messengers. They could see the orange glow of the fire as Banra was burned to the ground. They silently decided to turn back, to go to Citelan and warn their people.
But the saboteurs had their own ideas.
5 arrows shot out from the forest, three of them hitting their targets. One struck Shamun’s horse in the heart, killing it instantly, and the other two hit Shamun; one in the shoulder and one in the leg. He collapsed with his horse, landing on its stomach and sitting up in the process. Shamun looked up at Tolin and whispered,
‘Leave me. Warn Himal…’ he coughed at the last word. Tolin looked at him in concern, before an arrow missed him by centimetres. Giving Shamun a grim nod, he kicked his steed and the horse began galloping up the Great Way. Shamun saw four horses bearing tall men gallop after him, and one came out of the forest and trotted over to him. Shamun ignored the man, focussing on trying to move. But the pain was too great. Blood was gushing from his leg wound, and he could smell the blood on his shoulder. He was sure that he would die this day. The rain stopped. The breeze was pushing them further north, and Shamun could see who he was facing.
He was tall, at least 6’4”, and would make Shamun seem like a child should they stand next to eachother. Strands of golden hair could be seen under a brown hooded cloak. Only his mouth could be seen, everything else was hidden by the hood. A quiver of arrows was tied to his back, and he held a longbow in his right hand. Shamun instantly recognised who he was dealing with.
‘Nortic filth…’ he whispered. The man knelt down so Shamun could see his face. He had green eyes, and a pale face. It seemed drained somehow, as if by age, but this man looked only in his early twenties. He smirked at Shamun.
‘It is not wise, my friend, to insult a person that could easily kill you now, or torture you into insanity. Not wise at all…’
‘Then kill me now, Bowman, and put me out of my misery…’ Shamun whispered, struggling to keep the pain at bay. The man’s smirk widened into a smile, revealing white teeth. Shamun noted that there was menace behind that smile.
‘I will, but first let me tell you a story. Many centuries ago the god Felna created Airen and all its peoples. My people were once united with your people. But my people were exiled for being… different . Your people took our wives and killed our children, and we were forced to raid tiny villages for wives in order to survive…’ the man stood once more and began choosing an arrow with which to kill Shamun, ‘For years your people grew and prospered, while we struggled to survive. So we decided to make a stand, to go to war with Citelan and bring them to their knees. It turns out that other peoples want to bring you to your knees as well. So, here we are…’ the man whispered, finally picking an arrow and cocking it, pulling back the string. ‘Here we are, Bowmen, Bairutil and Kivanlar, on the brink of destroying Citelan…’ he grinned as he released the arrow. Shamun’s eyes widened in realisation before the arrow struck, piercing through his heart, killing him instantly.
The bowman chuckled to himself as he looked at the dead man’s face.
‘Citelanians,’ he said to himself, before dragging the body deep into the forest, never to be seen again.

It's actually the prologue, but I wanted to see what people thought I could improve on. I know that I'll hvae improved the prologue before I release my novel, but I was interested to see what you guys thought?

Go easy one me