Ok, I finally finished the game and I have to say that without a doubt, the Bionic Commando franchise just had a giant, steaming pile of elephant crap dumped on it.


Again, spoilers abound so read at your own risk.


I speak here on behalf of the other Bionic Commando maniacs out there. Ive been a fan of the game since it was created. I was 10 years old when it came out, and when I was one of the few people who could say I had the skill and patience to beat that game on the NES.

The main story stayed with me all these years. Joe Gibson, hero of the federation captured behind enemy lines. Rad Spencer, prototype soldier dubbed "Bionic Commando" sent in solo to rescue Joe. Rad rescues Joe, Rad and Joe tear ass through the "badds" (or imperials for those joining us recently..) forces and destroy the albatross and send Hitler (the leader) back to the grave in pieces. Joe and Rad make a daring, explosive escape as the base self destructs and the two heroes fly off into the sunset.

Now, rearmed added the enemy "Groeder". He was the boss outside Joe's cell in the game, rocking similar skills to yours. A really fun boss thrown in there on a killer remake of my favorite NES game of all time. The introduction of this boss however, leads to the downfall of the new game's story.


Fast forward to now. This is a horrific story.


Joe has become a political douchebag, and Rad has been sentenced to die for treason, and all bionic enhanced soldiers were stripped of their parts. Just before Rad is about to die, terrorists set off a nuke of sorts in Ascension city. Nothing that the federation sends in comes out, and Joe pulls the strings to get the original Bionic Commando off the leash and out of the gallows.

Immediately we see that Spencer and Joe are not the same men we remembered from the original game. The last time we saw these two was in a photograph at a celebration of victory. Now we see Spencer has Joe by the throat, wanting to kill him. Rad refuses to help, but Joe says he knows what happened to his wife and if he goes, he will give him the information.

Why do this? This is completely stupid. The developers should have been thinking about how fans thought of the original game, and done something similar. A Rad Spencer/Super Joe team up against a new threat would have been WORLDS better than this garbage they give us here. But no, you spend the game at odds, listening to whining and political bs between Joe and Rad the entire game.


THEN we find out that the terrorists, now known as BioReign, nuked the city because they wanted something that was held there. Eh....? WHY WOULD YOU NUKE A CITY YOU NEEDED TO OCCUPY? This is the most ridiculous thing ever. So you have a mostly radiated city and terrorists just hanging out and somehow not getting cancer and radiation sickness, or just outright dying. The nuke in the storyline was simply to add the element of where you can and cant go by swinging, and its total BS.

We keep going in the story and we see 2 new characters. A mysterious sniper, and a chic with Bionic legs who is called "Mag" by Spencer. They go over some crappy argument over whos side she is on and she cries about not wanting her legs taken away...blah blah....her character isnt developed, we dont give a rats behind about her. Shes not from the original game, so really this drama is pretty pointless. Its a total yawner.

Moving on, Rad spots Groeder, the boss we thought we killed outside Joe's cell 10 years ago. No explanation is given about how he survived or anything. Just he's back, and in the city, and after what everyone, good and bad, refers to as "The Item". Gimme a break.


Fast forward to getting "the item" and we go to take it back to Joe and save the day for the federation again. Oh, but wait. Joe hands Rad a mask. The mask belonging to Groeder. Yes peeps, the cheap heel turn has happened to Super Joe. Joe is a traitor, but Rad is more concerned with what Joe knows about his missing wife than the fact that the great hero he rescued years ago is now working with the guy that was holding him hostage.

WHAT?!?!?


So you escape death, of course, and end up plummeting out of a plane with Mag in tow and smashing into the ground. After being patched up by our mysterious sniper friend, Mag heads off after Joe, and Rad goes for Groeder.

Rad kills Groeder (again), this time stuffing a grenade in his mouth and kicking his severed torso off the platform. (Bionic Commando law.....Boss is never dead until we see the head explode...)

Rad goes for Joe, and stupidest plot twist ever, Joe reveals that to be able to get the bionics to work with people, they had to have the bionics be part human as well. Someone close to the bearer had to be part of the arm. Long story short, Emily, Rad's wife was sacrificed and her soul infused with the bionic arm.

Dumb flashback/dream of emily...."I never left Spencer, Ive been by your side the whole time....

GIMME A GODDAMN BREAK.

His wife is in his arm? Jesus.

No it gets better. The item everyone wanted so badly is used to make a flock of bionic vultures. Project Vulture. Creative, and stupid.

Joe is in a massive robotic vulture suit, and he smashes Mag's brains all over the floor. Shes so poorly developed however, that no one really gives a crap.

So Rad takes off after Joe. He dismantles some bionic birds, lands on Joe's suit and then basicly headbutts him to death. Both Joe and Rad plummet back to earth. Rad is falling, slow motion into blackness, and then the credits roll.


Worst Story EVER.


Turning Joe traitor and having to kill him at the end is just ridiculous. Rad's wife in his arm? God. Gimme a break. Nuking a city and taking over the radiated remains? Stupid.



This shouldve been Rad and Joe's next big adventure, champions of the Federation, and what we got was a giant frothy jar of ass for our trouble.


Play the old game, forget this story exists. Its a disrespect to the original material, and just a hackjob and a half passing as a storyline.

ya i played like a level of the game. i mean its not even fun let alone the story isnt even good. wasnt a surprise to me. its really hard to make a successful game off a game that was barely popular back in the day and was a 2D shooter. Todays gaming just isnt fit for remakes in my opinion. only all new material. online is fun tho!

i gotta say, i am very disappointed in this games....
although Bionic Commando Rearmed is a kick-ass remake of the old NES title..
i'm loving that game right now...