 Topic: Cena 'Nuff? How Johnny Got His Groove Back...
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 GabboUKSeeketh Maximus    since: Aug 2003 |
 Apr 20, 08 at 12:50pm |
quote Hypnosis
Gabbo, what is with you and all the KKK acronyms? First King Ken Kennedy, then I believe King Kofi Kingston, and now Karl's Komedy Klub? I have one simple question: What the *bleep*?
Anyways funny stuff. I love the shows the most.
I only made it KKK to fall in line with the other acronyms I used recently. Head over to the wrestling forum and notice I just proclaimed King Kelly Kelly as the rightful winner of the KOTR. But seriously, I am not 'that way' inclined. Please don't anyone think that.
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CENA 'NUFF? - Officially the best diary in the EWR Forum.
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Lone Wolf nWoAnd Hell followed with him.true seeker   since: Apr 2003
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 Apr 21, 08 at 1:01am |
Pure gold.
I lol'd my ass off.
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YOU GOTTA HUSTLE FOR YOURS, UNTIL YOUR POCKETS ARE FAT
REP YOUR HOOD!
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GabboUKSeeketh Maximus since: Aug 2003 |
Apr 22, 08 at 9:30am |
Last week we saw Edge stand over Batista and Jericho, as the Rated-R superstar makes his bid to regain the World Heavyweight Championship. What repercussions will be felt from that? Be sure teddy Long and Vickie Guerrero will have conflicting opinions on the matter.
Vickie Guerrero has scheduled a match for Smackdown. Edge, Curt Hawkins and Zach Ryder vs Moore and Yang. If Edge wins he will get his chance at Backlash for the World Heavyweight Title. Regardless of what happens between Batista and Chris Jericho.
After last weeks disaster against the Brothers of Destruction, Carlito and Santino got offered another match against Jesse and Festus for the next week. Despite Carlito's visible anger with Santino, both men eagerly accepted Teddy Long's offer.
Sexy Mark Henry will be in the arena giving his 5 fans a very special striptease.
With Big Show unable to make it to Smackdown, due to being busy with a large ham and 6 litres of milkshake, what will Cena be doing on Friday Night?
Scheduled Matches
Carlito and Santino vs Jesse and Festus
If Carlito and Santino lose they could be consigned to the bottom of the barrell on Smackdown, however with both men desperate to prove they have worth to Smackdown and Jesse and Festus
Edge, Curt Hawkins and Zach Ryder vs Shannon Moore and Jimmy Wang Yang
Teddy Long made this match to determine the Number One Contender for The Undertakers WHC.
Kane vs CM Punk
With Kane's MITB on the line; can the Straight Edge Superstar raise his game enough to challenge the Big Red Monster.
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uhguhfv8r78327y520[dom0e854957...
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CENA 'NUFF? - Officially the best diary in the EWR Forum.
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djvezaforum regular   total posts: 56 since: Sep 2007 |
 Apr 23, 08 at 3:42am |
that comedy club was Fantastic. |
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Dacs-e-e-k-e-r   total posts: 1808 since: Apr 2007 |
 Apr 24, 08 at 1:28pm |
Great job with the comedy club. Twas hilarious. And can't wait for Smackdown either. Mark Henry Stripteast = Win.
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GabboUKSeeketh Maximus since: Aug 2003 |
May 01, 08 at 10:35am |
Segment 1
The show begins with Michael Cole and The Coach welcoming us to Friday Night Smackdown. They shout over the fireworks and thousands of cheering fans.
Segment 2
* You think you know me*
Out comes Edge, and his Edgeheads. Teddy Long pushes Vickie Guerrero to the ring in her wheel chair. When everyone is in the ring and ready Edge starts talking.
Edge: last week, I showed I was the dominant number one contender, as I took out Y2Gay (turns around and laugh with Hawkins and Ryder) and Batista.
Cole: [completely serious) Nothing wrong with gay people, asshole.
As Edge is talking, Teddy Long starts pelvic thrusting Vickie Guerrero who is completely oblivious in her wheel chair. The crowd laugh and teddy long starts doing it harder and harder. Even faking climax.
Edge: So tonight, The lovely, sexy 'love of my life' General Manager: Vickie Guerrero has made a match for me. If, Me, Hawkins and Ryder beat Moore Wang - And Yes those last three words were intentionally constructed that way - then I, Edge, will be number one contender at Backlash.
All of a sudden Stephanie McMahon walks out onto the stage.
SM: Sorry to break up this party.
/backstage - off camera.
Triple H, John Cena and Vince are watching Smackdown. Cena is sat on Vince's lap.
Vince: Man, her boobs look great.
Triple H: Yeah...
Vince: What she like in bed?
Triple H: like a dead horse, interesting enough.
/Back on the stage
SM: But I've had enough of this La Familia love in. Tonight, Edge I'm changing your match. Something a little more fair. Hawkins and Ryder will still compete against Moore and Wang Yang. But you will be in a match against Batista and John Cena. The winner will be number one contender at Backlash.
Edge: What about Jericho?
SM: Oh, Hunter decided he didn't want him anywhere near the title.
/backstage - off camera
Triple is sat with Vince and Cena.
Triple H: [smugly] It's true. I did decide that.
Segment 3
Mark Henry is oiling himself down for the strip tease. He is telling himself he looks good.
Segment 4
Batista and Funaki talk about tonights match. Planning how they are going to win. Then they stop and practice his entrance again, with Funaki making the noise of fireworks.
Batista: Good job, little Dave.
Funaki: Indeed.
Segment 5 - Hawkins and Ryder vs Moore and Wang Yang
Decent match with Wang Yang and Moore being told to make the Edgeheads look good. Ryder gets the pin in 7 minutes after a double Edgecution on Shannon Moore.
Segment 6
Rey Mysterio is walking backstage when all of a sudden MVP creeps out of the shadows and attacks him. Smashing his leg with a iron pipe.
MVP: Think you can roll me up? Get the cheap pin!
MVP charges behind the camera and grabs the camera man.
MVP: Is Matt here tonight.
Camera: Lolz, there mats everywhere. You joker.
MVP: Hardy! Matt Hardy!
Camera: (angrily) I dunno I'm not his mother.
MVP stares at him for a while. Then grabs him be the ear and walks off dragging him.
Segment 7
All of a sudden MVP appears on the stage (without entrance music/video) dragging the helpless 140lb camera man down to the ring.
They get in the ring and MVP asks for the bell to start a match. Then MVP beats the living crap out of him, throwing round the ring posts and announcers tables. Before rolling him back in the ring for the pin. He stands over the camera man, whilst breathing heavily. He looks angry and asks for a microphone. He tells Matt hardy he will get his US title back at Backlash.
Segment 8
Cole hypes up tonights Main Event of Batista vs Edge vs John Cena. The winner will face The Undertaker at Backlash.
*GONG*
Out comes The undertaker. He makes his trade mark entrance to the ring.
Coach: Hey Cole, I have a joke. What do you call a man that is dead?
Cole: I dunno.
Coach: The Undertaker, haha.
Cole: That butter knife sharp wit of yours could cut someone if you aren't careful...
Taker gets in the ring and start prophecising about Cena, Edge or Batista meeting their end at Backlash. Before the whole arena is drenched in a white light.
A deep voice tells of 'A rain of Prophecy, shall await a Backlash.'
Everything returns to normal. Taker looks bemused in the ring whilst Cole and Coach speculate on what is happening. Both are screaming like idiots.
Cole: WHAT IS HAPPENING?!?!?!
Coach: I DON'T KNOW!!!!!
Cole: I FEEL LIKE DON WEST, DO YOU?
Coach: I FEEL LIKE AN ETHNIC DON WEST
Segment 9 - Kane and CM Punk
This match is for Kane's Money in the Bank briefcase. A solid match involving Punk doing lots of kicks to the head and legs of Kane. However Kane overcomes it all to get a win in a surprisingly goos match between two faces.
Segment 10
Big Daddy is walking backstage. Dean Malenko catches him
DM: What the hell are you doing?
BDV: What do you mean?
DM: You were drafted to RAW.
BDV: What's a draft? Can I eat it?
DM: They moved you to RAW. Someone should have told you.
BDV: No-one told me.
DM: What about the live TV broadcast? What about the briefing we had after that, where we discussed plans for you on RAW? What about the letters we sent out. The phone call where you and I confirmed you to turn up at RAW's show.
BDV: No.
DM: I emailed you, and sent a few texts.
BDV: I'm gonna level with you, Dean. I had no idea.
Segment 11
*Somebody's gonna get their ass kicked*
Mark Henry walks onto the ramp to a massive pop. The fans are all cheering him. he makes his way to the ring. he rolls in and then piles of roses are thrown into the ring. There is a red carpet on the mat. The lights go down and low. Sexy music starts up and Henry slowly pulls of his shirt. Before ripping the last few buttons in a dazzling display of manly strength.
Someone throws a pair of ladies knickers on his face, which he sniffs. Then whilst taking off his jeans, he slips and splits them exposing his underwear. But he smoothly gets back up and continues taking off his clothes until left with a pair of boxer shorts. He parades around the ring in his boxers, before grabbing them and pulling them off leaving just a thong.
The crowd go wild and he gets the largest pop of the night.
Segment 12 - Carlito and Santino vs Jesse and Festus
Great match, that goes for a good 10 minutes, lots of near falls. Santino mimics Festus with impressions, before Festus runs after him. Jesse tries to call him back, whilst Carlito sneaks behind him and hits the back cracker for a 1,2,3.
Segment 13
Carlito and Santino are in the ring, they ask for a mic. Santino is acting all cocky as if he won the match.
Santino: There is-a no stopping-a The team of Cartino and Sanlito. Especially me, I could-a defeat-a any man on this roster.
*Mr 619*
Out comes Rey Mysterio. He is limping, he claims that even with his bad leg suffered from the hands of MVP he could beat Santino.
Santino: Come on now, Mr Christerio, turn around and get off the stage-a-tron. You have a bad leg and I don't wanta you to go giving me a 69-er.
Cole: What did he say?!
Teddy Long comes out and makes a match for next week. Carlito and Santino vs rey Mysterio and.... the man who injured him, MVP.
Segment 14
Backstage Interview with Chris Jericho. Eve Torres tries to ask Jericho a few questions. Y2J just stands there refusing to answer any. He finally tells Eve to watch out for something explosive later tonight.
Segment 15
Vickie gives Edge a kiss and wishes him good luck in his match tonight. He tells her he doesn't need luck because he has something planned.
Segment 16
Batista is walking around backstage, Funaki is crawling along the floor like a dog. Batista has Funaki on a leash. Arn Anderson leaps out in front of Batista when he see's what is going on.
Arn Anderson: Jesus Christ, what the hell is going on? Turn those camera's off! Get up Shoichi! For God sakes turns those camera's off.
Funaki gets up and Batista stands there holding his leash.
Anderson turns those camera's off himself, Double A spinebustering 'Paul' - the camera man.
Segment 17
Backstage before Cena is about to go out Vince comes up to him.
VM: John we are thinking of changing your gimmick.
JC: Oh no, this heel rapper is good, it works for me.
VM: No no, Stephanie has come up with a great gimmick. Basically you are a robot who -
JC: Stop.
VM: No hear me out. A robot, who basically lives the same gimmick as you have now, but you'll just speak stranger and wear lots of foil. Your catchphrase will be, instead of 'you cant see me'...
"You can not visualise my image"
JC: [blank stare] We'll discuss this later Vince.
Segment 18 - Batista vs John Cena vs Edge
*YEEEEEEEAAAAAH*
Batista and Funaki enter to a massive ovation, Both do the fireworks motions and get into the ring...
...
*BRRRRRR-APPI-DOO... The Time is here - The Time is now*
The crowd get to their feet to boo John Cena. Cena salutes them and smiles at them only making the jeers louder. Cena is a born heel. Cena gets into the ring and grabs a mic.
JC: Cena hits Big Dave
People gather to a crowd
weapons are not just welcome
damn man, they're allowed
Batista: Do you think rapping makes you cool. Do you think it makes you down with
the kids? Do these people even like it. [massive cheers]
JC: Thats a resounding yes, I do think.
Batista: I can do some rapping myself. Let me introduce you to Big Davey B....
Now this is Big Dave
coming back at cha
i'm mean from the streets
like Margaret Thatcher
I like my emulators
and my roms
up, down, left, right,
Batista Bomb
JC: You *bleep*ed a million girls
till your dick was red raw
While your wife was ill at home
You *bleep*ed Melina some more
Batista: My wife has got cancer
she's such a catch
beat me for the title?
I want my rematch.
JC: Oh you'll get your rematch
and I'll dish out more pain
Rip those 'roid filled muscles
'Till your injured again
Batista: You wanna trash talk?
I can make it far worse
leave ya 'stone cold dead
In the back of a hearse
JC: I'll be honest dave....
Your doing kinda well
but you're missing the rhyme
you got no rythym
and you got no time.
any place, any time
I have no fear
Everyone knows it
....THE CHAMP. IS. HERE!
Cena and Batista both drop their mics and stare at each other. They exchange punches and after a short brawl Batista manages to connect with the Batista Bomb. He stands over Cena while the crowd cheers Big Dave.
*You think you know me*
Edge makes his way to the ring, he looks apprehensive.
Edge and Batista throw each other around, Edge tries to go for an early spear. Meanwhile Cena gets himself up and stands behind Batista for a hip toss. After a ten minute 3 way brawl, Chris Jericho walks out onto the ramp. He has no entrance music and is in normal clothes.
The crowd give him a loud pop. All three men in the ring stop and look at him. This doesn't appear planned.
CJ: Vince, Steph, Hunter do what you like. Pull this broadcast but one way or another I'm going to say this...
"I HAVE HAD IT WITH THIS COMPANY!"
I have worked my ass off here for 10 years and year after year I get shafted by pricks like Hunter and the rest of the McMahons. Vince, for God sakes grow a pair and stand up to Hunter. You know I'm the best this company has to offer but you continually allow Hunter to *bleep* me over.
Hunter, I'm sorry you were never born with as much talent as me, but you were great, but now you are keeping me down. I'm not even on RAW yet you are interfering taking me out of the title scene. I have never done anything to hurt you. For years I have let you get your own way. You've held back Angle, Oscar, Booker, Jay and many more. I came back to the WWE to save this company not to be pushed around and do nothing. I can save this company and you Hunter, you know it. But the insecurity inside you prevents anyone else from having the chance at the top.
Whilst the arena is in shock and silence. All of a sudden a sudden Triple H comes out and confronts Jericho, he asks for the mic. Jericho refuses and the two men square off. Hunter pushes Y2J, before Jericho swings a punch at The Game. All of a sudden road agents and referee's from the back rush onto the stage, then the broadcast is cut.....
This message was edited by GabboUK on May 05 2008.
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CENA 'NUFF? - Officially the best diary in the EWR Forum.
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GabboUKSeeketh Maximus since: Aug 2003 |
May 01, 08 at 10:41am |
Survey. If you could fill it out, I would be very grateful.
quote1. What was your favourite segment?
2. What would you rate the show out of 10.3. What is your favourite on going storyline?
[John Cena and Big Show
Number One Contendership
MVP turning psychotic in his bid to get the US title back
Carlito and Santino trying to prove their worth to Smackdown.
Mark Henry's Smackdown fun times]
4. Least favourite storyline or element of the show?5. What is happening with the special white/cleansing promo's interrupting Undertaker?6. Thoughts on Jericho's shoot promo?
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CENA 'NUFF? - Officially the best diary in the EWR Forum.
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The Rock 13Seeketh Maximus wiki stafffifa  total posts: 5359 neopoints: 101 since: May 2006 |
 May 05, 08 at 8:32am |
Classic stuff there though I find the Cena/Vicne stuff far funnier than the shows...
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SecretLegendCOD WAW FOREVAtrue seeker (2K Remix)   total posts: 2151 since: Jan 2008
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May 05, 08 at 10:02am |
quote GabboUK
Survey. If you could fill it out, I would be very grateful.
quote1. What was your favourite segment? Jericho leaving/end. 2. What would you rate the show out of 10.9 3. What is your favourite on going storyline?
[John Cena and Big Show
Number One Contendership
MVP turning psychotic in his bid to get the US title back
Carlito and Santino trying to prove their worth to Smackdown.
Mark Henry's Smackdown fun times]
4. Least favourite storyline or element of the show?Stephanie McMahon talking, mentioning Hunter yadda yadda yadda, didn't feel right. 5. What is happening with the special white/cleansing promo's interrupting Undertaker? 6. Thoughts on Jericho's shoot promo?Twas good.
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WE GO WHERE THE WIRE BLOOD FLOWS
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GabboUKSeeketh Maximus since: Aug 2003 |
May 05, 08 at 10:24am |
quote The Rock 13
Classic stuff there though I find the Cena/Vicne stuff far funnier than the shows...
I understand that, but I try to keep the shows as realistic as I can. I know Bri and to a lesser extent Haz go for OTT shows. I thought I'd try to set my diary out differently: booking a serious show whilst trying to write funny non-show segments. Anyway glad you enjoyed it. 
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CENA 'NUFF? - Officially the best diary in the EWR Forum.
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SMDThe Champforum fanatic  total posts: 426 since: Apr 2008
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Jun 18, 08 at 8:07am |
When cena comes out, you keep writing "*BRRRRRR-APPI-DOO... The Time is here - The Time is now*" I believe its "Your Time Is Up, My Time Is Now"
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GabboUKSeeketh Maximus since: Aug 2003 |
Jul 11, 08 at 6:28am |
This week WWE goes to England for the next weeks episode of Friday Night Smackdown. Great fun.
Wait for the lulz.
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CENA 'NUFF? - Officially the best diary in the EWR Forum.
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Fade To BlackI <3 ZTRtrue seeker  total posts: 1106 since: May 2005
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Jul 11, 08 at 7:15am |
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quote Oogity_Boogity_Boo
Epic Win.
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Zhou Tai Rocks√Say I don't wanna be in loveLegendary Seeker  total posts: 15266 GameGrep pts: 601 since: Nov 2005
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Jul 11, 08 at 8:04am |
Do I smell a Justin Timberlake/Mark Henry duet?
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Swear to shake it up, and you swear to listen
Oh, we're still so young, desperate for attention
I aim to be your eyes, trophy boys, trophy wives
Applause Applause
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killer iPodCheryl Cole <3true seeker  total posts: 1066 since: Apr 2008
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Jul 11, 08 at 8:30am |
Wahay its back! cant wait =]
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