At WWE Headquarters, yours truly is sitting down, waiting for Vinnie Mac to call me into his office to discuss my future with the WWE. I can't help but keep staring at Vince's secretary, that low mini skirt can easily display those little hearty underwear. . . she should really cover that up. She walks over to me, with a smile over her face.

Vince's Secretary: Mr. McMahon will see you know.

This is gonna be interesting. I follow her to the elevator, we step into the elevator and the music starts playing. It's like some funky Irish music, and I can't help but start to dance! The secretary starts to stare at me, but meh, I couldn't be bothered, you got to get your groove on every once and a while! The elevator stops, but the music keeps playing as I continue to dance. The elevator door opens, as I continue to dance. I start to do the whole "Carlton Banks" dance, before opening my eyes to see, standing at the elevator door is none other than "The Heartbreak Kid" Shawn Michaels. He's got a smile on his face, at least he thinks its funny. I walk past Michaels and he grabs me by my arm and whispers in my ear.

Shawn Michaels: Nice moves kid, do them for Vince, he'll love them!

I seem a bit puzzled, then ask probably the dumbest question I have ever asked in my entire life. . .

Colt Cabana: Dude. . . are you serious!?

Shawn Michaels: Oh yeah, you'll get the job if you show him those dance moves, if you have to, show a little nipple.

I walk off with a smile on my face, now I know how to impress Vinnie Mac! Then I start to think about how Big Daddy V got the job. . . he must of had to show off his 24 nipples. . . we finally arrive at the door, as the secretary opens the door.

Vince's Secretary: Mr. McMahon, Colt Cabana is here to see you.

Vince McMahon: Ah yes! Send him in!

I walk into the room, where I see not only Vince McMahon, but "The King of Kings" himself! I try not to squeal like a girl, so I kinda bite my lip. Vinnie Mac puts his hand out for a shake, and I seem a bit puzzled. I grab Vince's hand and start to pound it, and pull Vince in close.

Colt Cabana: KooKooKaCho! What is up with you!? It's my main man Vinnie Mac! Never fear my friend, "Classic" Colt Cabana is back!

Vinnie smiles a bit, its making me think he is faking. . . Triple H lets out a little laugh, Vinnie stares a hole through Triple H, who is damn near on the floor laughing.

Triple H: Nice find Vince! We got another John Cena here, just what we need!

Vince McMahon: Can it Hunter, this man here is full of talent! He has the charisma of a champion! Colt, I called you here to tell you that, well, due to the short funds we have here in WWE, we are letting you know that we are going to release you. . .

I am shocked. . .not by the release, but he starts off with a compliment, then tells I'm fired! Wow, I guess Vince really is what everyone has said he is, an egotistical asshole.

Colt Cabana: So you compliment me, then fire me? Nice work there Vince, whoever taught you that method needs to climb to the top of this building and leap off! Or at least strangle himself like Chris Benoit. . .

Vince McMahon: Who?

Triple H: Who?

Colt Cabana: Jesus Christ! Neoseeker does that enough!

Vince McMahon: Who?

Colt Cabana: Doesn't matter, I'm out of here! I'm going to where it all started, Ring of Honor!

Vince McMahon: Who?

Colt Cabana: AH!

I storm out the room, leaving Vince and Triple H puzzled. Damn WWE, I should speak out on steroid use in WWE! Damn near half the locker room does it! Batista never would though




To be continued. . . or will Colt Cabana suddenly get a match with Batista and have his neck broken by a number of botches!? NO BODY KNOWS!

Pure genius. Great segment. Only thing is...IM THE ONLY ONE WHO CAN MAKE BIG DADDY V TITTY JOKES!!!

Besides that, great diary so far. You got a reader!

Dude, very nice start. I'm glad someone's gonna do Colt right and get him back to ROH. Have Punk follow him.

Also, lol's at the steroid/Batista part, as well a Benoit. Keep it up dude.

lmao I love it already, don't let this one die I know where you live...well the country.

<3

Losing your job sucks, even if you work for an asshole. I am walking through the locker rooms, saying goodbye to all the people I've known and come to known. I finally stop at the locker room I've been waiting to get to, and I'm finally here. I knock on the door, and Phil Brooks aka CM Punk opens the door, and goes crazy when he sees me. The both of us embrace, and Punk is so happy, I try to be happy, but meh, just wait till I tell him the bad news. . .

Phil Brooks: Damn bro! Did Vince finally call you up to the main roster!?

Scott Colton: Yeah, something like that. . .

Phil Brooks: Whats that mean dude?

Scott Colton: I got called up all right, called up to the unemployment line!

Phil Brooks: Are you serious man!? Don't play with me man, cause you are known for your jokes and pranks!

Scott Colton: Look at me man, do I look like I'm playing this time. . . Vinnie Mac fired me for "low funds", the dude is a billionaire and he has low funds!?

Phil Brooks: *bleep* this man, first Ace, now you. I'm not dealing with it anymore!

Oh *bleep*, how did I know this was going to happen. I try to re-assure Phil, but being Phil, never wants to listen, only take action. Phil pulls out his cell phone, and dials Vinnie Mac's number. Oh shit, here we go. . .

Vince McMahon: Hey there Phil! How are you doing? Anything wrong with the locker room?

Phil Brooks: Yeah, there is actually Vince! I heard a rumor you fired my best friend! These rumors true!?

Vince McMahon: As a matter of fact it -

Phil Brooks: Shut it Vince! I'm sick and tired of your mouth! All the crap that comes out of your mouth, you know damn well you aren't on low funds!

Vince McMahon: Now Phil, if you would let me spe -

Phil Brooks: No Vince! My best friend just got fired because you are too arrogant to look at his actual talents instead of his looks!

Vince McMahon: Phil! I will not tolerate this tone! You are damn lucky I don't fire your ass right now!

Phil Brooks: News flash Vince, my contract is up in a month, and another thing Vince, luck is for losers, I quit!

Phil hangs up his phone, as I put my head down in shame. Phil looks over at me, and I can see a grin on his face.

Scott Colton: What in the hell did you do that?

Phil Brooks: Couldn't let you go to Ring of Honor on your own bro!

Phil saying that brings a smile to my face, Gabe is gonna be happy to hear that. Odd thing at that moment, my phone started to vibrate. I started to squirm to get my phone out of my pocket, and I look at the name who is calling, and I can't believe my eyes, I show Phil, and he lets out a grin.

Scott Colton: Speaking of the Devil. . . Vince is gonna love this!

Phil Brooks: Oh yeah! Second City Saints anyone!?

Scott Colton: You read my mind my friend, you read my mind. . .you hungry for a Twinkie?

Nice man. Glad Punk got the hell out of there, and gave Vince a piece of his mind in the process. "luck is for losers, I quit!" -- Epic man, loved that line.

Lol at the end. That Twinkie suit has to be the greatest thing Cabana has ever done.

Ah, I remember the Colt Cabana twinkie thing. That was great times

Anyway, CM telling Vince to "Shut it" was classic and epic.

So uh, Classepic. This diary is Classepic.

Ah the long awaited update nicely done as always, can't wait for their return to ROH.

Take Jamie Noble back with you, please. Turn him back to James Gibson and I'll be your best friend .