Friday 23rd May 2008

We are at TNA HQ, where Vince Russo, Dixie Carter, Don West, Jeff Jarrett, Kurt Angle, AJ Styles and Kevin Nash are discussing the upcoming TNA Pay-Per-View and gimmick ideas for there talent.

Dixie: Ok guy’s thanks for coming. As you know we are close to Slammiversary and we need to plan something that will make us top the WWE, any ideas?

Styles: How about we have an X-Division show case.

Everyone in the room apart from Styles burst into laughter.

Dixie: Oh that was great, but lets be serious now. I was thinking some kind of shock return, how about we get Chris Candido to come back. We haven’t used him for a while.

Jeff: He’s dead.

Kurt: Speaking of dead how’s your wife?

Jeff: …

Kurt: Too soon?

Nash: Just a little.

Styles: How about Abyss he hasn’t been on a show in ages.

West: That could work. I had a new gimmick in mind for him anyway.

Dixie: Yeah, and what would that be.

West: I was thinking we could bring in someone, to play his younger brother who was burnt in a house fire that Abyss started.

Angle: …

Nash: …

Styles: …

Dixie: THAT’S BRILLIANT! Why can’t the rest of you come up with ideas like this? Anyway that sorts out the major shock for the Pay-Per-View, now on to the TNA World Title.

Angle: I say we give it to me.

Jeff: But we do that every other month.

Angle: Yeah, so let’s stick with what works. I mean anyone else got any better ideas?

Russo: As a matter of fact I do.

Styles: -Under his breath- Well this should be good.

Russo: I say we put Awesome Kong in the main event and have her win the title. Then get this, next month we bring back Spike Dudley and he beats her for it.

Dixie: … Or not.

Angle: So we give the title to me.

Jeff: No.

Dixie: Oh we are getting nowhere with this, let’s just sort out the new gimmicks instead.

West: That’s where I come in.

Dixie: Yes I just hope you have something good.

West: Oh I do. How is this, we turn Christian into a rapper then change his name to JC.

Dixie: What does the JC stand for?

West: Err John Cen- I mean Joey Crunk.

Dixie: Hmm, you know it isn’t a bad idea.

Nash: are you shitting me?

Nash gets to his feet and leaves the room, as he does he passes Scott Steiner who now has the whole room’s attention.

Dixie: Can we help Scott?

Steiner: I’m out of Ste-- 'Apple Juice'.

Angle: Oh yes, I too am out of 'Apple Juice'.

Dixie: Ok, ok. I’ll get some more ‘Apple Juice’.

Scott: Ok, good.

Scott then goes to exit the room, but he can’t seem to open the door. A lot of time goes past and the whole room is sat staring at Scott who just can’t seem to open the door. In the end he cuts his losses and jumps out the window.

Styles: Well that must have been embarrassing.

Dixie: Ok so we need new stuff for Sabin and Shelley.

West: I actually had stuff for them, you remember that guy Randy Orton.

Dixie: Yeah.

West: Well I say with give Shelley that gimmick.

Dixie: That could work, what about Sabin?

West: Well you remember that guy Randy Orton.

Dixie: Yeah.

West: Well I say we give Sabin that gimmick.

Styles: Wait, did you just suggest we give two people the same gimmick.

West: Yes.

Styles: That’s insane.

Dixie: You know AJ is right. He should have the gimmick also.

Styles: Yeah … Wait, what?

Dixie: Well I’m glad we sorted out all the stuff we needed to, so we shall speak again at the Impact tapings.

Everyone leaves the room with AJ left in his chair wondering just what happened.

Not quite as good as some other TNA spoof diaries, but lets see where you go. I was amused, at least.

EPIC COMEBACK???

I'm looking forawrd to this. Don't let it die.

Ummm

quote Jaffers

Previous Champion: Gail Jim

HAHA That's how little attention TNA pay to the women.

Wow, that whole conversation was hilarious. Great work man.

Keep it up

LOL! Dude, that was great. TNA's HQ made me lol out loud. X-Division Showcase was also lol worthy.

quote Jaffers

HAHA That's how little attention TNA pay to the women.

Also lol'd at that.

Three Ortons, goddamn.

Ehh, heh sounds good, g'luck.

We are in the back of the Impact Zone, where Vince Russo, that crazy guy with the racket, Kurt Angle, Sting, AJ Styles, Kevin Nash and Samoa Joe are ready to start their meeting.

Vince: Ok so Impact is a few hours away, so let’s sort out what happens.

Angle: I say we give –

Cornette: Yes, yes you say we give the title to you.

Vince: So how is this for a main event, AJ Styles and Joe vs. Angle and Tomko.

The whole room stares at Vince Russo, AJ then pipes up.

Styles: What, no crazy stipulations or anything, just a tag match?

Vince: Yes, what else where you expecting?

Styles: Nothing, I guess. Well that sounds alright to me.

Vince: Oh wait I forgot to mention the loser has to have sex with Awesome Kong in the middle of the ring.

Cornette: Leave, Now!

Vince then gets to his feet and heads off looking very sad.

Cornette: Right, the main event idea wasn’t bad minus the sex bit. So you up for that Kurt?

Angle: Hmm, sounds alright but I think I should face the whole roster and beat them in two seconds flat.

Cornette stares blankly through Kurt.

Angle: Fine, just none of that crazy judo stuff from AJ.

Cornette: Don’t worry he isn’t allowed to jump around anymore, since his new gimmick is that of a new Randy Orton. Which reminds did you do what I asked you to AJ.

Styles: What thing?

Cornette: You know, the thing with the bag.

Styles: You Where Serious?!

Cornette: Yes, if Randy did it you do it.

Styles: I’m not going to take a dump in Gail Jim’s bag!

Joe: Kim.

Styles: What?

Joe: Her name is Gail Kim, not Gail Jim.

Styles: That’s beside the point, I’m not taking a dump in her bag.

Cornette: Why can’t you be more like Shelley and Sabin?

Cornette then points to the other side of the room where Sabin and Shelley are squatting over Angelina Love’s and Velvet Sky’s bags straining with all their might.

Cornette: Now that’s what I like to see.

Joe: That’s *bleep*ing disgusting.

Cornette: Now Joe, we don’t pick on you when you’re eating do we?

All of a sudden Sting jumps up from his sleep.

Sting: EARTHWORM JIM!

He then goes back to sleep.

Nash: Must have forgotten to take his meds today.

Cornette: Looks that way. Anyway back to business, Nash are you at Hall ready for your return as a team.

Joe: -mutters to himself- If he turns up.

Nash: What?

Joe: You heard.

Nash: I’ll have you know he is in the locker room getting changed right now.

-Meanwhile 400 miles away, in a gas station.

Hall: Hey chico, I’m Razor Ramón give me that bottle of whisky.

Clerk: Aren’t you supposed to be on TNA tonight?

Hall: Vince, is that you?

Hall then passes out.-

Back at the meeting Nash and Joe have done arguing.

Cornette: So what other issues have we got to deal with?

Just as he says that a women enters the room.

Women: Erm Mr. Cornette Scott is stuck in his locker room again, he is upset he is out of steroids and is also screaming “THE DOOR’S LOCKED TOO!”

Jim: I’ll sort it out. Meeting over.

Jim then rushes off to Scott’s aid.

lulz @ Steiner and Luger.

3 Ortons. @_@

And just for the record, if it was Vince Russo, it would have been a reverse Awesome Kong on a pole match, where the winner would be the one who forced their opponent up Awesome Kong's hoo-hah.

=d

I lold.

Several times actually, keep it up chico.

lol.

The stip. for the main event was just hilarious. You should have used it. Was a little freaked out by Motor City, so I probably won't comment on them again.

The Razor Ramone part probably stole the seg, just because its got some truth to it.()

Anyways, looking forward to whatevers coming next Jaff, keep it up.

I'm LOLing and sad at the same time.

LOLing cause it's funny, sad cause it's true.