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 Topic: Full Throttle Wrestling | Update On The Global Wrestling Summit!
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 Cattle Mutilationha ha he ha ha ho
Hooked on Neo    total posts: 4520 since: Jul 2007 |
 Apr 17, 09 at 6:47am |
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Alright, already did a bit of work on the show and it's shaping up to be a really good one so far. I think this will end up being one of my better shows and I think there's a lot of exciting stuff in store for the Rampage brand. If I don't have anything to do tomorrow, then I'm going to try and get the show up. If not, it will be up the next day.
I did the intro video for Rampage and you can view it here. I've uploaded it to my AmyinChains161 YouTube account, and you'll find the YouTube video in the results for convienience, but I just want to say that the real version is there on the link above (and in the link on the updated home page). Due to copyright, I had to use AudioSwap. The YouTube version actually isn't too bad, but the version I specifically made is at my Viddler account. So go and watch it while I work on Rampage, give me some thoughts on the card, a review on Throwdown if you already haven't, predictions, etc. and hopefully I can get something up tomorrow for you lot.  -------------------  | |
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Cattle Mutilation ha ha he ha ha ho
Hooked on Neo total posts: 4520 since: Jul 2007 |
Apr 17, 09 at 9:09pm |
 FRIDAY NIGHT RAMPAGE | IZOD Center | East Rutherford, New Jersey At the sound of "I hear voices in my head," the 20,000+ fans in the IZOD Center got to their feet as Rev Theory's Voices began to play over the state-of-the-art sound systems and the arena was flooded with red and golden lights. The next moment the curtain was thrown aside and outstepped the Rampage World Heavyweight Champion Randy Orton who received a huge ovation. Orton squinted around at the fans, who continued to cheer for Randy as he stood still on the entrance way. His lip curled into a subtle smile, bringing even more cheers as he slowly made his way down to and into the ring. He received a microphone from Lillian Garcia, and then, noticing the confused look on the faces of some of the fans due to the absence of his World title, he raised his shirt, revealing the World Title underneath. He smiled as he unfastened the buckles on the back and slung the title over his shoulder, his music faded away, and the standard lights were restored glaring right into his eyes from all sides. The crowd had died down, waiting in silence anticipation for what their World Champion had to say. The spotlight was his element, his comfort zone. Whereas others cracked under the pressure, he savored the pressure because it only made him better. Randy Orton: There are very few things greater than twenty thousand fans screaming your name. There is only thing that truly comes to mind at the moment, and that is SEVENTY-THOUSAND fans screaming your name during the main event of Wrestlemania 26. Chants of "ORTON" went up and he waited for them to die down, a grin on his face. Randy Orton: I mean, no offense New Jersey, but you have to understand how cool that was, you know? But let me cut right to the chase here because I have a lot of other things on my mind and I still have a laundry list of wrestlers to beat and goals to accomplish. Because destiny does not stop and wait for you ladies and gentlemen and neither does the Age of the Orton. You either get on the train or you miss your destination. I don't know about you, but my destination is......... "GREATEST... OF... ALL... TIME." Orton grinned once again, admiring how he had the crowd in the palm of his hands. Randy Orton: There is a crucial difference between me and my wrestling peers to how we handle greatness. If someone were in my place, they would likely be having a celebration party in the middle of the ring, with balloons and confetti and everything else. But that's just not me. Call it vigilance, call it intuition, call it whatever you want, but I am a very careful man. You see, it only takes a matter of seconds for your entire life to change in an instant. Every man who has ever held this World Championship knows what I am talking about. Orton began pacing, his lip curling into a frown as he continued, his voice becoming intense and strained. Randy Orton: Back in 2004, I won this very same World Heavyweight Championship belt for the first time, making me the youngest wrestler to ever hold this belt in history. I did not see it then, but I should have. I didn't realize how quickly I had won it and how quickly the other man's life had changed, and it all happened within the span of three seconds. The next night during my celebration, Dave Batista heaved me up onto his shoulders during my celebration, which at the time I considered to be an action of the utmost sign of friendship and companionship. However, only a few moments later I ended up on my back with Triple H, Batista, and Ric Flair kicking the crap out of me with my life doing a 180 before my very eyes. After a few more mountain-top views and a few more setbacks, I stand before you as a better professional wrestler, and hopefully a better man. But when it comes down to it, I stand before you as the Rampage World Heavyweight Champion, a man with with a target on his back and an even bigger bounty right on his forehead. It takes that very vigilance and intuition to be champion so you don't lose that championship. Ladies and gentlemen, I did not come all this way to lose this World Heavyweight Title!! I am the 129th Rampage World Heavyweight Champion, dating all the way back to Orville Brown in 1948, to Ric Flair and WCW in 1991, and to Triple H in 2002. My name is already written beside theirs, but while I'm a man of vigilance, I'm also a man of persistence. That's just not good enough, you see? Because when this is all said and done, I don't want MY name beside THEIRS, I want THEIR names beside MINE! The crowd erupted into cheers as he punched the air with the title in his hands, nearly fumbling while doing so in his blind spout of intensity. He took a deep breath and placed the title back across his shoulder before pacing back and forth as the vein in his right temple throbbed in his forehead. Randy Orton: Last night, I defeated Chris Jericho when I nearly punted his head right off his shoulders through the goal posts of Ford Field. If you haven't believed anything that I've said thus far, then just take a look at Chris Jericho later tonight. He is a walking example of everything I've just said. However, I'm afraid the Age of Orton Express does not make stops for sympathy, the Age of Orton merely continues on with you or without you. I know where we're going. Do you? And Orton stared into the camera as the fans and all of the wrestlers in the locker room were able to see the sincerity and fire in his eyes. Then all of a sudden, music began playing in the IZOD Arena, taking Orton's attention as well as everyone else's. Cameras panned over to the entrance stage where Cody Rhodes and Ted DiBiase of The Legacy appeared. As their music died away, the jeering from the crowd began, with the fans trying desperately to boo them out of the building. Ted pulled a microphone out of the pocket on his hoodie and handed it over to Cody, who raised it over to his lips and waited for the crowd to die down. Cody Rhodes: Thankfully Randy, The Legacy hopped right off that train and has never looked back. In fact, I would advise everyone to not even get on the train because it only leads to failure, disappointment, and mediocrity. And just because you're still holding that title, Randy, doesn't make up for your past sins... Nor does it vanquish the demons that follow you around every corner at every waking moment... and nor does it grant you some B.S. destiny full of fame and greatness. Actually, who in the hell do you think you are? Do you not realize that if it wasn't for us, that Triple H and the McMahon's would have destroyed you? In fact, you usually threw us right to the dogs so you could defend yourself! Randy, you're just a guy that's always in the right place... at the right time, and sooner or later that luck is going to run out, PAL! And Cody lowered the microphone emphatically, receiving boos from the crowd and a snicker from Orton who had been glaring and squinting up at them until then. He paused for a moment, thinking over his words as he twirled the microphone around in his hands. He then raised the microphone to his hands, the side of his mouth curled up into a smirk. Randy Orton: First off, you and Ted never hopped off the train... You were kicked off the train. Secondly, it's because of that very same attitude that got you kicked off the Age of Orton Express when I RKO'd you straight to Hell. I actually never kicked off Ted, now that I think about it, but I guess he just really enjoys your company for some reason. Kind of a shame, Ted, but hey, destiny does not wait and neither does the Age of Orton. But, anyway... while you skated over a few details and changed history to your own liking, you do have a point. None of this does make up for my sins and I definitely have my fair share of demons following me. I'm not sure how to respond to that Cody... all I can say is that I'll try my best and that's all I can do. However, I must make one more correction, Cody... This Age of Orton express train does not run on luck, it runs on desire. A sort of desire that, dare I say: burns. Greatness is my destiny and desire is my fuel, and if you think you can defeat me Cody Rhodes, then be my guest and come into this ring and show me what you got! The crowd exploded into cheers and urged Cody to get in the ring. Cody looked around at the crowd, biting his lip so hard that it nearly punctured and bled. Then he began pulling off his shirt as Randy Orton set his title down and prepared for a fight. Cody threw his shirt to the ground and began making his way down the rampway, but then the crowd began to boo when Ted DiBiase cut in front of Cody and stopped him. For the new few moments, Ted began to talk Cody down and settle him down as he backed him up the rampway away from the ring and their former Legacy leader. Cody heaved a deep breath, relaxed, and unclenched his fists as Ted DiBiase gathered the fallen microphone. Ted DiBiase: Randy, Cody doesn't want to do away with you before you have your big match up later tonight. Who are you facing again? Oh yeah, that's right: Evan Bourne. Pfft... You know, if these are going to be the sort of opponents you'll be facing, then you may be right that the Age of Orton is going to keep on rolling. But once you step into the ring with one of us, that train is going to stop right in its tracks and don't you forget it! Randy Orton: Evan Bourne is an upandcomer just like I was a few years ago. He has all the potential in the world and is more than a worthy opponent. Ted DiBiase, Cody Rhodes, I'm afraid that I cannot say the same for you two. Ted and Cody gaped at Orton angrily. Randy Orton: But hey, try to prove me wrong if you want. Stand in front of me and try to stop the Age of Orton and I guarantee your fate will be nothing but failure! The crowd cheered as Orton's music hit. Legacy glared down at their former stablemate before storming away backstage, leaving Orton posing on the turnbuckles with his World Heavyweight Championship as Rampage went to commercial. Returning from commercial, we found The Embassy making their way down to the ring to Ghanaian National Anthem. Prince Nana was dragging around an Asian woman by the name of Jade Chung, who was nothing more than a slave for Prince Nana. Nana had even tied a chain around her neck and was parading her around like a dog. The Crown Jewel Jimmy Rave and the Swiss Consummate Claudio Castagnoli were making their way around as Colin Delaney followed slowly behind, only just barely above Jade Chung's status of slave. However, that did not keep Claudio from treating him like one when he threw him to the ground and used him as a step to get into the ring. On the other side of the ring, Nana threw Jade to the ring, her skimpy dress tearing in the process as Rave used her as a step as well, nearly making her back cave in from the weight. Rave took his time getting in, driving his foot into Jade's back and driving her face down against the concrete floor. He got in the ring and was met with a shower of toilet paper. Toilet paper flew all around, smacking Rave, Claudio, Nana, and Delaney in the face as the crowd continued to pile the T.P. into the ring. The men began to fight fire with fire (or T.P. with T.P. in this case) and tossed the toilet paper back into the crowd, to which the crowd fired right back! Jade Chung even participated by tossing a roll at the back of Prince Nana, but Nana noticed and punished her severely by tossing her violently to the floor. Finally they wised up and gave up as the downpour of toilet paper finally stopped. The Embassy then posed in the middle of the ring, with Rave, Claudio, and Nana doing the official Embassy pose as they brought their palms together above their heads. Meanwhile, the lacky Colin Delaney polished Jimmy Rave's boots and Jade Chung cried in the corner. Everyone but Rave exited the ring as Jimmy took off his jacket and tossed it down forcefully at Jade Chung, earning him another shower of T.P. that the crowd had in reserve in case he decided to be an even bigger jack off. The crowd then had something to cheer about when 311's Beautiful Disaster hit, signaling the entrance of the most exciting tag team in professional wrestling today: The Murder City Machine Guns! Chris Sabin and Alex Shelley high-fived fans, threw dog tags out into the crowd, and posed & smirked for the cameras. Shelley gave Sabin a pat on the back as Sabin flung himself over the top rope and into the ring, backing Rave out of his corner and into another one for bearings and defense. Sabin then broke those bearings when he fired a roll of toilet paper at Jimmy when he was busy jarring with a fan in the front row. Enraged, Jimmy charged at Sabin and began the match as the bell rang out. quoteThe Embassy celebrated as the crowd groaned in annoyance. Nana nearly had a fit when Jade Chung tried to enter the ring and join in with the celebration, and once again forced her onto the ground so Rave and the rest of the Embassy could use her as a step down to the arena floor. Colin even used her as a step. Nana, Claudio, and Rave posed on the rampway as Jade and Colin followed, holding their respective aching body parts. In the ring, Shelley had recovered and was checking on his partner as he glared up at the Embassy and Rampage went to commercial. When we returned, we were in one of the locker rooms that were shared by Rampage wrestlers since it seemed no one could ever get along. Sharing the locker room were the likes of CM Punk, Colt Cabana, Hacksaw Jim Duggan, and other wrestlers that didn't deserve one of their own and were forced to be there whether they liked their fellow wrestlers or not. Also sharing the locker room was Evan Bourne. The scene opened with CM Punk drawing his signature X's on his wrist tape. In the background, Evan Bourne hesitantly approached Punk. Evan Bourne: Hey Punk, 'ya got a minute? Punk turned, found Bourne, and gave him a smirk. CM Punk: Yeah sure, what 'cha need? Evan Bourne: Oh I was just wondering if I could ask you---hey, why are you taping up your wrists? You don't have a match tonight, do you? CM Punk: It's just a habit of mine, I guess. I feel uncomfortable at a wrestling show unless I'm wearing my gear, I don't know why. What did you need? Ask away. Evan Bourne: Well tonight I'm facing Randy Orton and--- CM Punk: Ah yeah, nearly forgot about that, Evan. Congratulations, dude. That's a pretty big match. Evan Bourne: Thanks. Well as you said, it's a really big match. As embarrassing as it is to say, I'm a bit nervous about it. With Rey being traded to Throwdown a few weeks ago, I'm kind of alone here on Rampage without a partner---without a mentor, really. I dunno, if you don't want to, then it's cool. See, I was just wondering... erm... see, I was just, uhh--- Punk cut him off and finished marking the X on his wrist tape where he dropped the Sharpie pen into his bag and looked down at Evan with his arms crossed and a smile upon his face. CM Punk: Let me get this straight: You want CM Punk to be in your corner? Evan looked back at Punk with nervous eyes, not sure if Punk was offended by Evan's notion or not. Punk then burst out laughing and patted Evan on the shoulder, Evan still not sure what to make of Punk's reaction. CM Punk: Sure! Hell, why not, man? You and I both come from the same roots, don't we? You've sure come a long way, but I see a lot of potential in you, Evan. I can see the same sort of desire in your eyes that I felt in my heart back when I started here in FTW a few years ago. You definitely has what it takes to be a future player here. You want me there by your side tonight, Evan? You got it, bro. Evan smiled, a look of utmost relief upon his face. Evan Bourne: Thanks man! Uhh, I'm going to go prepare for my match now. CM Punk: Good thinking. You are facing the Champ, after all. I'll catch 'ya later, Evan Bourne. And the scene faded to black with Punk watching Evan leaving to get ready for his match. We went ringside where Shad Gaspard and JTG of Cryme Tyme were making their way to the way to the ring, popping their jerseys and showing off their bling before they got in the ring on the mic to do their signature catchphrases. But before we could hear about that money money (yeah yeah), Lynyrd Skynyrd's Gimme Back My Bullets hit, cutting them off. Down came Jay and Mark Briscoe, followed closely behind by their manager Jim Cornette. The Briscoes slid into the ring and nailed Cryme Tyme with forearm strikes, triggering an impromptu start to the match. quoteNo one could believe it! Not even Cryme Tyme could seem to believe that they had just upset Jay and Mark Briscoe! Jim Cornette was as shocked as anyone as he got in the ring, his hands folded on the crown of his head and a look of utter disbelief on his head. However, Cornette forgot his racket on the outside and Cryme Tyme were sure to snatch it away and pawn it off to a fan before making their exit as Cornette yelled at the Briscoes. Mark yanked his brother to his feet and began yelling in his face. Jay, still dizzy from that move from Cryme Tyme, came to and began shouting and shoving right back! It seemed they were blaming one another for losing the match, with both of them blaming one another for blowing some of their signature spots. While the argument continued, with the production crew in the truck having to constantly jab the censor button because of the amount of curses flying from their mouths, Jim Cornette grabbed a microphone and tried to separate his boys. Jim Cornette: Wait! Wait! Wait, God damn it! Wait! Now stop it you too! Did your Mama raise you to act like a couple of apes? You boys are from the south! The stars and bars, Lynyrd Skynyrd and the good 'ol state of Kentucky! If this is what we're gonna do, then we're gonna do it right! You boys want at each others thoats? Then don't talk it, walk it! Next week, you're gonna beat the holy hell out of one another and settle your issues so we can continue to be the best tag team in wrassling! Cornette was fuming and sweating profusely, sweat marks appearing on his suit and all. The Briscoes were still staring at one another out of the corner of their eyes as they continued to listen to their manager. The crowd was cheering for the potential Briscoe versus Briscoe match while Cornette continued to pace around. Cornette then kicked the bottom rope in anger and loosened his tie. Jim Cornette: I'm gonna have a damn heart attack here in the ring because of you both! You two were completely off tonight! No chemistry, no strategy, no nothin'! Well that better not happen again, or so help me God--- I did not come from the warmth and comfort of my home to be on the road with you 24/7 unless I saw something in you, and damn it, I saw something in you two! I've managed some of the greatest tag teams of all time, and I think you two could be considered one of the greatest teams of all time if you just got your **** together! Now stop acting like a couple of Neanderthals, get back there, and get ready for your match next week! Next week I want you two to beat the holy hell out of each other! You know, get out all of that sibling rage and settle whatever unresolved issues you two have with one another. We still have the Unified World Tag Team Championships to win 'ya dumb jackasses! Sometimes you have to take a step back to take two steps forward! What in the hell do you two say? "MAN UP"? Well next week, you better MAN UP and get this over with because I'll be damned if you two end up as a broken tag team. You two just have too much potential for me to let that happen! Now go back to your locker room, I'm sick of lookin' at 'ya both! Jay and Mark glared at one another as Cornette slammed the microphone down to the mat. Jay put his hands on his hips and stormed out of the ring, back up the rampway, where Mark followed a moment later. The crowd began chanting Cornette's name for setting them straight, but then instantly began to boo him when he gave his thoughts of their support with a middle finger in their general direction. Rampage went backstage where we found John Morrison and the Miz laughing their asses off at the scene they had just witnessed. They then proceeded to mock the Briscoes, using their signature catchphrase of "MAN UP" as they made ridiculous faces. The Miz: Durr, I'm from der souf and I like to eat some gewd oil appol serse! Hurr Hurr! MAN UP, boy, we gotsta get to a Skynyrd concert at ate! John Morrison: ERP, DURR! Wafe, Jay, I still gotsta finush mah sexth beer! And wut about da Daytuna 500? We camp mess dat! MAN UP! The Miz: Durr! We can take a T.B. to der race and wutch it dere maan! I lube dis tecknogy, maan! MAN UP! Miz and Morrison began rolling around on their couch in laughter as Rampage went to commercial. When we returned, JR and King went over the matches still to come then handed it over to backstage interviewer Candice Michelle. Candice Michelle: Thanks, JR. Ladies and gentlemen, I'm standing by backstage with Doctor Insano. Doctor Insano leapt into the frame, his crazy goggles, manic expression, and wheezing cackling making him appear, well, manic. Candice Michelle: Now, Mr. Insano--- Doctor Insano: That's Doctor Insano to you, missy! Candice Michelle: Err, I'm sorry. Doctor Insano, tonight you have quite a challenge on your hands when you face Mike Knox. How do you plan on defeating a man like Mike Knox? Doctor Insano: With science, of course! Doctor Insano pulled from his lab coat a couple of Grabber Reachers, commonly used by the elderly with arthritis who have difficulty picking up objects. He flung them about carelessly, nearly smacking Candice in the head before he began to pull the trigger constantly in a threatening manner at the camera. Doctor Insano: Now see here, Missy. This is new from Insano Industries! I call it the Long Grabby Poky Thing! With these weapons of mass destruction, I shall take over the world! Mike Knox is merely a hopeless fool standing in my path! But never fear Michael, I shall make your annihilation as slow and painful as possible! Nyaahahahahaha! Candice Michelle: Ummmm... Mr. Insano--- Doctor Insano: Doctor Insano! Candice Michelle: Right, I'm sorry. Doctor Insano, how do you plan on taking over the world? Doctor Insano: With science, of course! Oh and you know, fear mongering, manipulation, corruption, and an EEEEVIL robot zombie army of the apocalypse! Nyaaahahaha! See, in a few years the election is coming up! Barack Obama has tried to fooooil my plans, but I shall try to foil his! Yes! I am announcing my candicacy for President of the United States, with Fu Manchu as my running mate! You inferior parasites cannot stop Doctor Insano, because I have Science you can believe in! NYAHAHAHAHA! But first, my lovely dear, I have another mission to undertake, and that's defeating one Mike Knox. It shall be a challenge indeed, but not one I cannot succeed in! With the power of science I shall chomp Mike Knox down to my level! Nyaahahahaha! Hey, Candice, you said your name was? How would you like to join me in my world domination scheeeeeeme? I can make you the General of the EEEEVIL robot zombie army of the apocalypse! Candice Michelle: Erm, no thanks. JR, King, back to you. Doctor Insano: Sean Hannity is Satan, I have proof! Nyahahaha, are you sure you don't want to just go to my locker room for a quickie? OWWW! You don't have to be so mean, Missy! I was going to make you the General of the EEEEVIL robot zombie army of the apocalypse! BREAK THE WALLS DOOOOWWWWWN!!!! We returned ringside where the crowd began to boo as Chris Jericho appeared on the entrance stage. He looked almost crestfallen, and was completely unmotivated to assert himself in anyway. He looked like he just wanted to go home and crawl in bed. He looked around at the crowd that was taunting him with chants of "YOU LOST!" and "RKO" with a depressed look on his face as Kevin Steen's music hit and made his way down to the ring with his tag team partner, El Generico. Steen and Generico got a warm response from the crowd. Jericho was so down and out, Steen was able to walk right up to him and pat him on the cheek a couple of times in a notion to try and cheer him up. However, it only angered Jericho who attacked him before the bell. quoteSteen exited the ring in a hurry as the crowd exploded into cheers. Generico and Steen couldn't believe it, and neither could Jericho who was now screaming at the referee. He was telling the ref that Steen had used the tights for leverage, and on the replay shown on the titantron, it was clear that he did. Steen gave a smirk to Jericho then made his quick exit before the ref could see and change his mind as the replay was shown several more times. The ref too busy arguing with Jericho to even notice it on the big screen, despite Jericho desperately trying to get him to look two inches to the left and watch Steen blatantly steal a win. Finally, Jericho snapped. He decked the referee, knocking him out with one punch. He then grabbed the legs, yanked him over onto his stomach, and applied the Walls of Jericho. It took ten referees and staff members to pull Jericho off he ref, but Jericho wasn't done. He picked up a chair from the announce table and began repeatedly slamming it against one of the ring posts. He then threw it up the rampway and kicked the barricade, tears literally streaming from his eyes he was so upset. After his outburst he looked even more depressed than before. The refs told him to go to his locker room, but he refused to leave. He looked like he was about to break down and start sobbing in front of the entire world, and at the sound of "I hear voices in my head" Jericho did just that. As Randy Orton made his entrance, Jericho collapsed and began having a hissy fit as Orton made his way down the rampway, staring at the scene with a smile on his face. He stopped before Jericho and looked down at him, a mixed look of pity and embarrassment on his face. He then lifted the title above his head, getting a loud reaction from the crowd as Jericho's heart sank even lower. Instead of crying more however, he picked himself up and glanced at Orton, then made his exit with a blank expression on his face. Orton shrugged at the crowd, earning him some laughs as he climbed into the ring and posed on the turnbuckles as Rampage went to commercial. When we returned, we found Orton waiting in the ring for Evan Bourne. Orton's music faded away and then there was silence for a moment, until Bourn'e music hit to a fair reception of his own. Bourne appeared on the entrance way, punching the air in excitement. CM Punk followed closely behind, glancing back and forth between Evan and Randy. Evan had come out confident but at the sight of Orton in the ring, he was now like a deer in the headlights and was paralyzed to the spot on the entrance stage. Punk, laughing almost, tried to relax Bourne and give him some advice and courage. Evan listened to what Punk had to say and gave him a nod, before slapping himself on the chest and making his way down to the ring. As Evan flipped into the ring, Punk took the corner and tried to give him some confidence by beating on the mat a few times. Orton pulled off his shirt and handed the belt to the referee, then took the corner and waited for the bell. quoteThe crowd cheered Orton's victory and Bourne's courageous effort, giving both men a standing ovation. Orton received his title belt and held it high above his head in celebration as CM Punk checked on Evan Bourne. A year ago, Orton's punt had become synonymous with putting people away indefinitely. However, there was a sharp contrast between Vince & Shane McMahon and professional wrestlers like Evan Bourne, who could take the blow but still walk the next day. However, there was no denying that when Orton hit that move, that the match was OVER. A couple of minutes later, Bourne staggered to his feet, using the turnbuckles and CM Punk for support. Orton approached Bourne and took his hand, shaking it thoroughly getting a warm reception from the crowd for the respect he was showing. Orton held Bourne's arm in the air before rolling out of the ring and making his exit, but not before one last glance at CM Punk. After returning from commercial, we found ourselves in the office of Vickie Guerrero, who was sitting in her wheelchair, still getting shuttled around by her nephew Chavo despite that Tombstone she received from the Undertaker happening a millennium ago. Vickie Guerrero: That was a great match, Chavo. That is what I am envisioning the future of Rampage: Professional wrestling at its finest! But what is with Chris Jericho? Am I going to have to warn the roster to keep sharp objects away from him? This is just getting asinine, he needs to get a grip. Chavo, go get me a bottle of water. Evian, please, not that Aquafina crap. Gosh, why is it so hot in here? Did you turn the A/C off? Hey, when is the feed going to switch to my office? I still need to make that announcement, damn it. Chavo returned with the bottle of water and put it into the cup holder that he attached to the wheel chair himself a few hours ago when she complained about wrist strain. Chavo Guerrero: Oh, erm, uh I think the feed's already switched, Aunt Vickie. Vickie Guerrero: What?! Chavo, you are useless. I'm paying you to be my assistant, what use are you if you're not even assisting me with basic stuff like this? Chavo Guerrero: Sorry, Aunt Vickie. Vickie looked into the camera, gaining her boos from the crowd back in the stands that could now see her face on the titantron, much bigger and more magnified than it should ever be. Vickie Guerrero: Ladies and gentlemen, I have an announcement---EXCUSE ME!!!!! The crowd booed even louder. Vickie Guerrero: I have an announcement to make about tonight's main event between John Cena and Kane---EXCUSE ME!! I have added an extra stipulation to the match to insure that Kane does not slip up on me. See, I decided to take a page out of Mr. McMahon's playbook. I thought of the perfect thing to GUARAN-DAMN-TEE that Kane will not lose to John Cena. Surprisingly, it's one of the very few things he has not had trademarked & copyrighted. If Kane defeats John Cena later tonight in the main event, not only will a future World Heavyweight Championship match be in store for Kane, but if he loses, hehehe, and this is my favorite part---then he will be forced to get down on his hands and knees and join the Vickie Guerrero Kiss-My-Ass Club!! The crowd roared in their hated for Vickie Guerrero. In a camera shot of the audience back in the stands, one kid looked like he wanted to puke just imagining what Vickie Guerrero's ass might look like. Vickie Guerrero: EXCUSE ME!!!! And finally, there is one more thing, Kane. If you don't kiss my ass if you lose, then YOU'RE FIRED! A second later, there was a loud knock at the door. Vickie's head snapped around to the door, fear in her wide eyes. Her hands began to shake and she instantly looked like she regretted what she said. Vickie Guerrero: CHAVO GET THE DOOR! Chavo, who had been standing their obliviously, snapped back to reality and hurried over to answer the door. He slowly opened the door as Vickie hid her head in her arms, fearing the worse. However, the Big Red Monster did not step into her office. Instead, it was Tyler Black who stepped into her office. Vickie Guerrero: Oh Jesus, don't do that. I thought you were---nevermind. Who are you? What do you want? Ooooh, now I remember. Are you my company for tonight? Tyler stared down at Vickie, one of his eyebrows raised in confusion. Then he figured out what Vickie was talking about and shuddered and covered his mouth. The crowd began laughing as Vickie looked like she was going to go ballistic. Tyler uncovered his mouth and made a strained face as he swallowed, what I assume to be his own vomit. Tyler Black: Erm, no, I'm not. Actually, I'm Tyler Black. You made a huge trade for me back when I was on Throwdown last year? Vickie Guerrero: Oh yes, now I remember. Well what do you want? I'm a very busy woman and have things to attend to. CHAVO! Go get me a slice of pizza while you're standing there doing nothing! Chavo hurried from her office and left, probably to go and savor a few moments where he didn't have to be bullied around by her aunt. Tyler Black: Vickie, I'm a professional wrestler. You see, I like to wrestle. I'm noticing a trend that you're only booking me in throw-away matches. It's not fair to me or the fans. I am the future of this company and I want to prove it to you. Next week, I want to take a step up in competition. I've faced a lot of great wrestlers while I've been here, but I think I'm ready to move up the food chain. Vickie Guerrero: Okay, next week, you can face Chavo. Tyler Black: Umm, no offense Vickie, but that's not what I had in mind. Do you want to know who I want to face next week on Rampage? The Heart Break Kid Shawn Michaels. I'm ready for him. Vickie Guerrero: *sigh* Fine, you got it. Next week, you, Tyler Black, will face Shawn Michaels. Now, are you sure you don't want to reconsider my offer? Tyler looked like he regurgitated in his mouth once again, and shaking his head profusely, he hurried from the room as Rampage went ringside. In the ring, Goldust and Hacksaw Jim Duggan were posing in the ring, with Hacksaw waving around a 2x4 and yelling "HOOOO!" The London Bridge intro hit the PA Systems, and was then followed by *bleep*ing In The Bushes by Oasis where Nigel McGuinness, DJ Gabriel, William Regal, and Layla made their way to the ring. Nigel did his signature slide into the ring while DJ danced around and William and Layla took a seat ringside, with Layla sitting on Regal's lap. Every man in the audience wished they could be William Regal at that moment. quoteReturning from commercial, JR and King hyped up the John Cena/Kane main event, reminding the fans at home that if Kane won, he would get a future World Heavyweight Championship match. But if Kane lost, he would be forced to kiss Vickie Guerrero's ass or else be fired. JR: What does John Cena get if he wins? King: Nothing! General Manager Vickie Guerrero wants to make his life a living hell, don't you remember? JR: One thing is for sure: I would not want to be John Cena. Now let's hand it over to Michael Cole who is standing by with--- We switched backstage and instantly heard Michael Cole screaming. Michael Cole: OH MY! OH MY! OH MY! OH MY! OH MY! We then found Kane going absolutely insane in his locker room, chucking things across the room and then smashing them against the wall. He grabbed Michael Cole by around the throat and tossed him out of the room, with the camera crew wisely leaving before he could get his hands on them too. We returned ringside where JR and King were looking at one another with wide eyes. JR: Now I really don't want to be John Cena! Well we also have Candice Michelle backstage. Candice, who are you with now? We switched backstage and found Candice Michelle for her second interview of the night. Thankfully for her, she was not interviewing an evil scientist hell-bent on destroying the earth. Instead... Candice Michelle: Right now, King, I'm with the Unified Women's Champion: Melina! Melina, thank you for your time. On Monday Night Throwdown, we saw Cheerleader Melissa and Beth Phoenix make their mark when they dominated the Bella Twins. And now, the Divas diviison is stronger than ever with the recent signings of Sara Del Rey, Christy Hemme, Gail Kim, ODB, and Cheerleader Melissa. What are your thoughts on the current status of female wrestling? Melina: It's great, Candice. Now it's not all just about doing bikini shoots for magazines, it's about much more than that. The ability of the women in professional wrestling has dramatically improved, and finally people are starting to take us seriously. I'm a fighting champion, Candice, so I'll take on all challengers, even if they're a bit bigger than me, or meaner than me, or prettier than me. Cheerleader Melissa looks like she could be a tough future opponent, but I'm willing to take on that challenge. As for Beth Phoenix, well, it looks like she's more worried about Santino Marella and her sister, Santina. Candice got ready to ask Melina another question, but before she could, someone entered the frame. It was revealed to be Santina, supposedly the sister of Santino Marella. She looked very suspicious, in that she had the same unibrow, the same tattoos, and the same facial hair as Santino. Santina Marella: You got that right, sister. Oh, I'm sorry if I'm interrupting your interview, Melina, I just had to come over when I heard my name. I am delighted to know that you have taken notice of me, Melina, but what about you Candice? You didn't even mention my name! You... you... bitch! Candice Michelle: Excuse me? Santina Marella: Oh yeah, you heard me! What do I have to do to get noticed? Have my breasts enlarged? They are already nice and naturally ample, I'll have you know! Or must I constantly flash them to everyone I meet like you, tramp?! Candice looked like she wanted to punch Santino, erm, I mean, Santina, who looked like he, erm, she, wanted to punch her right back. Melina, meanwhile, was laughing her ass off. Santina Marella: I notice you have nothing to say. That's because I keep it real, sister. Oh, you bore me, Candice Marshall... I'm going to go look for my brother. That devil of a woman Beth Phoenix is probably tormenting him again, poor little boy. He's so handsome and sexy and strong, he doesn't deserve any of that. Santino! Here I come to find you! And Santina trotted away out of the camera, with Melina laughing even harder and Candice fuming. We went ringside, where Doctor Insano was making his entrance. Insano had all sorts of contraptions, including a cheap replica Star Wars light saber, a barrell that was labled "X. X. X.", and a mint-condition copy of Phantasmagoria 2: A Puzzle of Flesh. Mike Knox walked down to the ring, and walked down to the ring some more, then climbed through the ropes, then stood there, and stood some more as he waited for the bell to ring. quoteKnox exited the ring and walked up the rampway, and walked up the rampway some more, then exited the arena, a blank expression on his face as Doctor Insano lied unconscious in the ring. Science, be damned. We went backstage for the final time where John Cena was standing by with Michael Cole. Michael Cole: John Cena, up next you will face the Big Red Monster Kane. She has pulled out all the stops to insure that Kane defeats you. If General Manager Vickie Guerrero hasn't made your life a living hell yet, then I'm sure it's about to become one very soon. What in the world keeps you going, John? Cena looked down at Michael Cole, gathering his thoughts in his head as a genuine look of concern on his face appeared. Meanwhile, back in the stands, chants of "CENA!" went up, loud enough that Cena could hear it backstage. When he heard it he looked up and opened his mouth to speak, then closed it. He then pointed towards the wall that separated them between the fans and nodded at Michael Cole. John Cena: That's what keeps me going, Michael Cole. Cena then exited the frame. We returned ringside and a moment later, John Cena's music hit, bringing the crowd to its feet. As lights and cameras flashed all around and his intro continued, the chant of "CENA" got even louder. The curtain was then thrown open as the intro ended and the tempo of the song picked up. A huge explosion of cheers reverberated through the IZOD Center as Cena saluted the crowd, punched the air, and made his way down to the ring. He slid in, tossed his shirt and hat into the crowd, and put his hands down on his knees as he waited for Kane to arrive. The music & lights faded away as the arena was filled with an ominous red glow as Kane's music began. The next moment a huge fiery explosion set the entrance stage on fire. Kane then appeared on the rampway, looking angrier than we have ever seen him if that's possible. He stormed into the ring and raised his arms up to make fire explode out of the corners, but Cena cut him off with a clothesline that took him to the outside! However, Kane landed right on his feet! Kane then raised his arms once again and brought them down, making fire rocket out of the four corner posts, bringing John Cena down to one knee in shock. Kane slid into the ring and began the match as he fired away on Cena with rights. quoteKing: Cena wins! Cena wins! Cena wins! JR: BAH GAWD ALMIGHTY what a match! What does this mean for Kane? Will he have to kiss Vickie Guerrero's---will he have to join Vickie Guerrero's Kiss My Ass Club?! King: He has to or he's fired! JR: Bah gawd! Ladies and gentlemen, what a night! Good night and tune in next week, for FRIDAY NIGHT RAMPAGE! And Rampage ended with Vickie Guerrero screaming at the television monitor, where Cena was painfully celebrating, his arm held high as Kane held his head in disbelief on the mat. [color=#666666]This message was edited by Cattle Mutilation on May 07 2009. ------------------- | |
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Cradle Shock Nouveau Riche
gone postal  since: Aug 2007 |
 Apr 19, 09 at 11:00am |
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I will now comment on the whole show, and write down my thoughts as I read because I'm just that bad.
I actually like Orton as a face, it takes me back to '04 or whenever he won the belt from Triple H. However, my intense man crush on Cody Rhodes is telling me to hate him, so please put the strap on Rhodes, kthanx. Rave over Sabin - *bleep* that for a laugh, son, I guess I can forgive as this is fantasy, if this was real life Jimmy Rave wouldn’t last five minutes against Sabin. Punk and Bourne - Ha, Evan Bourne is so gay. Good set-up for later, though, and what will most likely see a Punk/Orton confrontation. Cryme Tyme over Briscoes - Alright, I forgive you for the Sabin thing. Since his laugh is spelt "Nyahahahaha" Doctor Insano is already my favourite character ever, if he had a Snidely Whiplash moustache it would be better, but I guess you can’t have it all. Steen over Jericho - Wow, shocker. It’s a good job I mark for Steen, or I’d be pissed about this, but I do, so I’m not. Segment after is good, sets up for what’s next for Y2J nicely. Orton over Bourne - Haha, Bourne gets punted in the face. Good stuff. Man, I’m pumped for Tyler vs. HBK, that would be a great match in real life. Gabriel and McGuinness over Yanky twats - Yay, go England. LEAVE CANDICE ALONE! SHE’S A HUMAN BEING! Seriously, though, your Santina is class, if I wasn’t hyped for Doctor Insano right now he, uh, she would be my favourite character in this diary. Knox over Insano - God help me I love hilarious jobbers. Cena over Kane - Boo, if Kane actually goes through with the ass kissing there’ll be hell to pay. Good show, kept me entertained the whole way through. -------------------  | |
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Cattle Mutilation ha ha he ha ha ho
Hooked on Neo total posts: 4520 since: Jul 2007 |
Apr 19, 09 at 8:37pm |
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Thanks, man, glad you enjoyed it! More people need to give feedback like you, srsly, it helps.
 Doctor Insano is a hilarious character from The Spoony Experiment. I recommend checking out spoonyexperiment.com for more Doctor Insano (he's heavily featured in his Part 9 review of Final Fantasy VIII) and because it's a great site in general. Fallout from Rampage: 1)
In an e-mail to FTW management, Punk wrote: "Bourne has a lot of potential, but sometimes he just struggles with nerves. You have to understand that Bourne and I come from the same roots, where at most we would wrestle in front of 800 people. When I came to Full Throttle Wrestling, I got advice and training from some of the greatest wrestlers of all time, ones that were more than used to big crowds. Not only that, but I had a lot of time to adjust to the change. Meanwhile, Evan's been thrown right in the limelight. So I can understand, but that still doesn't change anything. If he wants to be one of the top guys in FTW, then he has to win some matches. Next week, it's time for redemption. Cody and Ted better watch out."
Chris Jericho was unavailable for comment.
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Cattle Mutilation ha ha he ha ha ho
Hooked on Neo total posts: 4520 since: Jul 2007 |
Apr 23, 09 at 12:32am |
 MONDAY NIGHT THROWDOWN | TD Banknorth Garden | Boston, Massachusetts (GOIN' DOWN, BOSTON. BE JEALOUS)   Non-Title The Undertaker versus Larry Sweeney
  Special Attraction Jeff Hardy versus Vladimir Kozlov
 Battle Royal - Number One Contendership For The Unified Women's Championship Featuring divas from Monday Night Throwdown!
    Fatal Four Way Hurricane Helms versus Chuck Taylor versus Kofi Kingston versus Tyson Kidd
     4-on-1 Handicap Match The British Blue Bloods: DJ Gabriel, Nigel McGuinness, William Regal, & Layla versus Jack Swagger
    Tag Team Match MVP & Jimmy Jacobs versus Shelton Benjamin & Brian Kendrick
  Opening Contest Matt Hardy versus Rey Mysterio
[size=1][color=#666666]This message was edited by Cattle Mutilation on May 07 2009. ------------------- | |
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Cattle Mutilation ha ha he ha ha ho
Hooked on Neo total posts: 4520 since: Jul 2007 |
Apr 26, 09 at 7:48pm |
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Just wanted to let you all know that this is not dead. I've just been dealing with a really bad ear infection and haven't been in the mood for writing. The show will be up in a few days, I have a lot of things set, I just gotta do it. I've love to hear some more feedback on Rampage & the Throwdown card though.
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Cradle Shock Nouveau Riche
gone postal since: Aug 2007 |
Apr 26, 09 at 9:24pm |
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Undertaker vs. Larry Sweeney Sweeney's going to die, fo sho. Jeff Hardy vs. The Kozlov I love you, Jeff. Divas Battle Royal: Maryse Is Maryse even on this show? I don't even care, actually, she just has to win. Hurricane Helms vs. Chuck Taylor vs. Kofi Kingston vs. Tyson Kidd Or I riot. The British Blue Bloods vs. Jack Swagger England is better, we owned your arses for quite some time before we left completely of our own choosing. MVP & Jimmy Jacobs vs. Shelton Benjamin & Brian Kendrick You bastard, you made me choose between three of my man crushes and MVP. Matt Hardy vs. Rey Mysterio I like his tights. ------------------- | |
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Cattle Mutilation ha ha he ha ha ho
Hooked on Neo total posts: 4520 since: Jul 2007 |
Apr 30, 09 at 7:08am |
quote  MONDAY NIGHT THROWDOWN | TD Banknorth Garden | Boston, Massachusetts PART ONE! The crowd almost roared themselves hoarse as the Throwdown theme music blasted through the Banknorth Garden in Boston and pyro went off everywhere. Cameras panned around to show the fans of different ages, different sizes, different colors, and different backgrounds. However there was one similarity between each and every fan in the arena, and that was that they came to see the premier brand of professional wrestling, Monday Night Throwdown! And just as the crowd peaked in loudness and exciement, it was all killed away when the music of the Rated R Superstar hit the sound systems as the crew in the trucks backstage hurried to cover up the sound of 20,000 asses retreating back to their seats in disappointment. Smoke covered almost the entire stage as his music continued and lights flashed around. Then he appeared out of the smoke, wisps of the fog trailing behind him. Edge did not look happy either as he entered the ring and wrestled a microphone away from Bobby Cruise who was confused. Apparently Edge was not scheduled to be out here. Edge: Shut off my music, I have a lot to say. The arena shook with jeers and boos as Edge looked around, his bottom lip trembling in anger. Edge: You all saw what I did two weeks ago. Whether you actually forked over some of your "hard-earned" money or whether you illegally watched it on the computer in your mom's basement, it doesn't matter. Two weeks ago, you all tuned in to see Wrestlemania 26. It was a historic event, filled with monumental moments, and blah blah blah. I don't care about any of that and I sure as hell don't care about any of you. I mean do you really think I wanted to wrestle in freakin' Detroit? Risk my lively-hood in Detroit?! Put my body on the line in DETROIT?!?! At this point the crowd had started "WHAT?!" chants. Edge glared around at them all. Edge: Losers say what. "WHAT?!" Most of the crowd was completely oblivious that they had just owned themselves, while the other people who were actually paying attention gave themselves a smack on the head then a chorus of boos for playing into Edge's hands. Regardless, Edge wasn't about to crack a smile at his little joke. He still had a lot to say. Edge: However, I was willing to overlook the unglamorous setting just so I could step into the ring with one man. You know, all of us wrestlers have that one dream opponent that we could wrestle inside a completely empty arena. Hell, it wouldn't even have to be an arena, it could be right in our own backyard. All that would matter is that it was him and me. Well at Wrestlemania I challenged noneotherthan the Game Triple H! The crowd cheered at the name, which made Edge's scowl harden even more. Edge: However, as you all know, the Game did not answer my challenge. In fact, he wasn't even in Detroit for Wrestlemania! Around the web rumors have been flying all around. "Triple H leaves Full Throttle Wrestling!" As you all know, that one is quite popular. "The Game goes on strike after JBL pulls him from the main event!" And this one is my favorite: "Triple H tears his quad AGAIN!" But no, you see, none of these are true. Instead, he was at a hospital in Connecticut with his wife bringing yet another little brat into the world. While I can understand that Triple H would have wanted to be there during that "special" occasion, I guarantee EACH---AND---EVERY---ONE---OF---YOU, that if a title were on the line, he would have jumped on a jet to Detroit and wrestled me right then and there! Edge paced back and forth as some fans booed, catching onto what Edge was getting to as others looked around in confusion. Edge: You see, Triple H is a power-hungry bastard. I of all people would know, I've been around him for the better part of TEN years. He always has to have the best and he always needs to be the best. He, like his good friend Ric Flair, just doesn't know when to step aside for future stars like me. Back in the early days, I would literally see Triple H on his hands and knees begging to the man that would soon become his father in law just for another title shot. Vincent Kennedy McMahon liked Triple H, but up until a certain point, Triple H was only just treated better than the average Superstar. Do you know when that all changed? It happened when two people looked into each other's eyes and said "I do." How... disgusting. And I think we all know why. Triple H only married Stephanie McMahon so he could get leverage with his father in law a.k.a. Vincent Kennedy McMahon a.k.a. The Boss! As you can see with just one look at his accomplishments, the decision to marry that little tramp Stephanie McMahon has paid off for Triple H. The crew in the back had to work furiously to censor chants of "*bleep* YOU EDGE!" Edge stopped and looked all around the crowd, giving in and smirking at them. Edge: I look around at you and you with a combination of wonder and pity. You're all pathetic... I root for your destruction. Why are you all looking at me like that, right now? Oh, hahaha, yeah, I get it. See, you think that I'm being a tad bit hypocritical, right? Is that it? Do you all think the Rated R Superstar Edge is a hypocrite? WELL YOU'RE DAMN RIGHT! I've used every opportunity to my advantage, I've used every trick in the book, and I am a lying, cheating, stealing son of a bitch! I wasn't on Throwdown last week because I thought since Triple H was taking vacations whenever the hell he wanted, I may as well cash in some of that vacay time myself! You see, there's only one room on this show for a superpower! There's a reason why the greatest civilizations have always clashed, because there's just not enough room on this rock for 'em all. The same can be said for me and Triple H here on Throwdown. I can be the only superpower here on Throwdown, it just doesn't work the other way around. When I stood before the fans of Detroit after I called out Triple H, I was disappointed. Maybe after all these years Triple H has had time to think and prioritize, maybe becoming a "good man." Well whoop-dee-damn-doo, let me throw a parade for 'ya, Triple H! Because unlike you, morality is not on my agenda. The only things that remain on my to-do list is becoming the greatest professional wrestler of all time, and Triple H, you stand in my way! If you're gonna stay at home with your whore wife and your bastard kids, then I guess I'm just going to have to drag you here to Throwdown myself! You got it? Either you face me in this ring next week like a man or I'm coming for your family! Edge's music hit as he glared into the camera, where Triple H was watching back at home taking care of Stephanie and the kids. Edge knew this, and made it a point to glare into the hard cam, then cracking a sadistic smile and a wink. He then flipped off the crowd and left as Throwdown went to commercial. When we returned, Matt Hardy was making his way to the ring, a wide smile on his face after getting the win over his brother Jeff last week. Matt got in the ring and took off his stylish jacket, then waited in the corner for his opponent. Exploding from underneath the stage came Rey Mysterio to a huge reaction. Finally the crowd in Boston had something to cheer about again as Rey high-fived fans and went head-to-head with fans sporting his masks. He ran up the steps and flipped into the ring, bringing Matt to an abrupt exiting of the ring as Rey continued to taunt as the match got set to begin. quoteThe crowd exploded into cheers once more as Rey's arm was raised, a look of disbelief even on Rey's face. Rey held his arm and neck in pain as he glanced down at Jeff. Jeff and Rey then exchanged smiles as Rey made his exit, high-fiving more fans. Back ringside, Matt had gotten to his feet, furious and kicking the ropes. He looked around to get his hands on his brother, but Jeff had disappeared in the mass of fans. Matt kicked the rope once more then stormed his way to the back. Backstage, we found Lacey and MVP strategizing. Lacey kept offering to tie up his boots while rubbing the top of his thigh rather erotically, to which MVP graciously declined. Behind Lacey, Jimmy Jacobs was sniffing handfuls of her hair, to which she was completely oblivious to. MVP had his WTF face on at the scene, but Jimmy pleaded with him not to say anything as he put his index finger to his mouth. Lacey: So I'm thinking, you both have contrasting styles but I think you can use it to your advantage. I mean, fancy tag team moves are all nice and good, but moves that you two already have in your arsenal can be just as effective if you hit them in quick succession. Do you know what I'm talking about? Are you sure you don't want me to tie your boots? No? Erm, alright. Hey, where is that little weirdo anyway? Jimmy Jacobs: I'm right here, love. Lacey whipped around and Jimmy released her hair, but it was too late and Lacey felt a sharp tug that sent pain all the way down to her roots. Lacey: OW! What in the hell were you doing back there, Jimmy? You better not have been chopping my hair off again, or it will be your neck! Jimmy Jacobs: I would never, ever do such a thing, baby. Jimmy winked at MVP then leaned in to give a deep smell of Lacey's perfume, to which he perfected so much so that it was completely silent. MVP: Erm, y'all two are gonna be alright, right? I mean, I don't have to worry about you two bitchin' at each other right? Jimmy Jacobs: Lacey and I do not bitch at each other, Montel. We are the Match of the Year, after all. Lacey: Urgh, shut up Jimmy. You need to focus! You really let me down last week and it better not happen again, you hear me?! So you got that, MVP? And you Jimmy? Work together as a team and hit your moves in quick succession. That's our strategy. Jimmy Jacobs: Lacey, could you tie my boots? Lacey: Tie your own damn boots! I'll meet you two in a few minutes, I'm going to go get a bottle of water. JIMMY I SWEAR TO GOD DON'T TOUCH ANY OF MY STUFF! And Lacey left in a huff, leaving MVP and Jimmy behind. Jimmy watched her leave, crestfallen eyes appearing on his face as the door closed behind her. He placed his hands against his heart, as though in mortal agony. MVP: She's loud. Doesn't help that she's got an annoying-ass voice, too. I just hope she makes up for it in the bed. Jimmy Jacobs: What do you mean, Montel? MVP: Well 'ya know... I hope all the extra baggage is worth it at the end of the night. Jimmy Jacobs: Oh, how crude, Montel. I must have misjudged you. See, Lacey and I do not think about such primitive neanderthal things like that. We just... mmmmmmmm... ahhhhhh... Jimmy sighed and smiled to himself as a tear trickled down his cheek. MVP stared at Jimmy, a look mixture of deep concern and bewilderment on the face for his tag team partner. MVP: So there is no sex? Err, do y'all two crackers even date, then? 'Ya seem to have a weird relationship. Jimmy Jacobs: No... Not yet. But she will be mine. Oh yes---she will be mine. And the segment ended with MVP once again staring at Jimmy with concern as Jimmy outstretched his hand to an invisible Lacey, singing the Ballad of Lacey under his breath. We stayed backstage and found American Dragon Bryan Danielson. Boos could be heard from back inside the arena where the fans were watching him kicking the living hell out of a sand back on the titantron. Dragon wrestled it to the ground and began elbowing it repeatedly, where the bag began to tear as sand poured out onto the floor. Suddenly the door to the private gym swung open and in-stepped Larry Sweeney. Sweeney did not take time to admire Danielson's dirty work, instead he cut right to business. Larry Sweeney: Where is that good-for-nothing Texan pig's office?! Bryan Danielson: Err... you mean JBL? Uh, it's umm... Damn, I'm bad with direction. Alright, just a moment, I'll take you there. Larry Sweeney: Well come on, Bryan, hurry up! If you weren't aware, let me fill you in. I have to face THE UNDERTAKER tonight! Well let Larry Sweeney tell you something, Bryan Danielson! Sweet and Sour Larry Sweeney is not gettin' in the ring with nobody, let alone The Undertaker! Now come on, money ain't gonna wait! Danielson grabbed a towel and quickly dried off the sweat from his brow and followed Sweeney out of the room to lead him to the Throwdown General Manager's office as we went to commercial. We returned, finding Jimmy Jacobs serenading Lacey during his entrance. Lacey stepped over the rope and leaned underneath the top rope, thus lifting her skirt higher than it already was. Jimmy, a firm believer in chivalry looked away and shielded her eyes as Lacey took a corner and crossed her arms as Jimmy floated around, finishing the rest of the song with the crowd. His tag team partner was out next, this time without all the pink lighting and sappy lyrics. MVP posed on the rampway, with fireworks erupting out of the main stage and the titantron. He slid into the ring and posed once again, doing his signature: "BAAALLIN'!" to the crowd's satisfaction. AIN'T NO STOPPIN' ME NOOOOW! The United States Champion was out next, shouting out his name with Bobby Cruise during the introduction. Shelton showed his athleticism by jumping up onto the apron with ease, then hopped right down in case Jimmy and MVP were to jump him before the bell rang and his partner made his entrance. Coming out dancing (if you wish to call it that) was THE Jr. Heavyweight Champion, THE Brian Kendrick. Oh, and he was accompanied by his bodyguard Ezekiel Jackson. Kendrick blew Lacey a kiss, a notion that enraged Jimmy inside the ring but didn't seem to bother Lacey too much. Ezekiel took Kendrick's jacket and waited at ringside with a rather frightening expression on his face. quoteThe crowd erupted into cheers as MVP raised his arms in victory, a pained expression on his face. Jimmy on the other hand was jumping up and down in glee at the fact that he managed a smile out of Lacey. Lacey's happiness was short-lived however, because she instantly began shouting at Jimmy for being weak, getting beatdown throughout the match, and for abandoning the strategy. However, her shrieking rage could not quell Jimmy and MVP's celebration as Brian Kendrick and Shelton Benjamin grimaced back up at them in the ring. Matt Striker: Mantis, this is huge! Jimmy Jacobs and MVP just beat the Jr. Heavyweight and United States champions! Ultramantis Black: Indeed it is, Striker. If they weren't in store for future title shots, then I guarantee you that they have one now! Nyaaah! Matt Striker: Okay, I hear that Maria Kanellis is standing by backstage. The broadcast switched over where we found Maria, looking absolutely stunning in a white tank top and skin-tight blue jeans, along with elbow pads that would act as her wrestling gear... why have I suddenly developed a fetish for elbow pads on women? Erm, okay, moving on. Beside her, looking stunning perhaps in a different way as he nearly three quarters of the screen was Bobby Dempsey, sporting his signature t-shirt and a goofy grin. Maria Kanellis: Thanks! Right now I'm with Bobby Dempsey, who will be making his debut next week on Throwdown against one half of the American Wolves: Eddie Edwards. Bobby, how what are your thoughts on this challenge? As soon as Bobby opened his mouth to answer however, into the frame came the American Wolves as though on cue. Davey Richards stared at Dempsey for a moment, then smirked in an insulting fashion. Eddie gave Maria a wink and didn't try to hide the fact that he was checking her out. Richards yanked the microphone out of her hands and tossed it over to his partner. Davey Richards: Beat it, toots. Don't you have a match next anyway? Maria Kanellis: Nope, I don't think so! Davey Richards: Then why are you wearing your wrestling gear? Maria glanced down at herself, then looked up, completely surprised. Maria Kanellis: Whoooa... Then Maria left, hopefully to get ready for the Divas Battle Royal that was mere minutes away as Eddie readied the mic under his lips so he could tell Bobby Dempsey what was on his mind. Eddie Edwards: Bobby, you're not going to "give your thoughts" tonight, nor are you going to "give your thoughts" any other night. Next week, you're facing me. I'm one of the hottest talents out of Boston in years, and heh, even though I'm known for tagging with guys like Davey Richards; trust me, I think I'll be able to handle you. Then when I'm done with that, Davey and I can continue to climb the ranks of the tag team division. Eddie dropped the mic at Bobby's feet and stared him down, as Bobby stared back nevously. Davey, annoyed at Bobby's lingering presence, snatched up the microphone and shoved Bobby out of the frame. Davey Richards: Uhhh buh huh buh, what are you staring at you goofy bastard, get out of here, your time is done! And Eddie, hold on a sec, I have something I wanna say myself. Jay and Mark Briscoe, you out there? You sober enough to comprehend what I'm saying for two seconds? Good. When you two are done fooling around beating each other up on RAW, we're going to be waiting for you here, where we will establish ourselves as the BEST team, not only on Throwdown, but in all of Full Throttle Wrestling! And that's all I gotta say, Eddie, let's go back and watch these goons try to wrestle, it'll be hilarious. The Wolves disappeared as Throwdown went to commercial. When we returned, we were still backstage, this time in the parking lot area. Chuck Taylor was having a little autograph session of his own before his big Fatal Four Way match later tonight. Chuck Taylor: Come on people, only twenty bucks to get the autograph of the one and only Sexy Chucky T! It's for a great cause! Errm, my friend, you see... My friend has to have surgery to fix a nipple that... um... a bear bit off and--- Little Kid: Chuck, we all saw what happened last week. Michelle McCool gave you the purple-nurple of all purple-nurples, didn't she? Chuck Taylor: BEAT IT 'YA LITTLE PUNK! You don't get an autograph! The boy gaped at Chuck, while Chuck began to smile at the boy's dismay. Before he broke down and began crying however, the kid's mother showed up. Mother: Excuse me, my son has cancer! Chuck Taylor: GOOD, I HOPE HE DIES! Chuck began to Mwahahahaha as the crowd awaiting his autograph with fresh twenty dollar bills quickly began to disperse, booing him and calling him an insensitive ass hole. ???: CHARLES JEFFERY TAYLOR!! Chuck shrieked out loud and ducked behind a trash can. A moment later, Michelle McCool in sexy school teacher outfit and all came stomping after him, dragging him out from behind it and paddling him on the ass. Michelle McCool: Did I just see you yell at another kid? Chuck Taylor: NonotatallPLEASEDON'THURTME!!!! Michelle McCool: That's right you didn't. Michelle gave him another firm smacking for good measure, managing another yelp out of Chuck. Michelle McCool: I don't know if you realize this, Charles, but not only am I trying to mold you into a better person, I'm also trying to mold you into the FTW Jr. Heavyweight Champion. If I have to enforce stricter, more painful capital punishment to accomplish that, then I will. Chuck Taylor: But Michelle... haha... erm... no offense... but uh... uh... when I asked you out and stuff, you know... uh... I didn't exactly sign up for the torture and the S&M and the dominatrix and the OHMYGODPLEASEDON'THURTME!!! Michelle had stomped the ground as Chuck, making him shriek once again. Michelle stepped forward, making Chuck cower in fear as she grabbed him by the chin. Michelle McCool: I do this because it's for your own good. I don't just wear this outfit to get more page views on my website, I wear this because I was, and still am a teacher. I'm teaching you to become a better person, and a better professional wrestler... I was a firm believer in capital punishment then, and I am to this day. Not one student ever flunked in my class, Charles, not even the bad apples like you, do you understand? Now what are you going to do, Charles? Chuck straightened up, with chest wide and his hands at his hips as though her were addressing a drill sergeant. Chuck Taylor: I'm going to go out there and give it my best shot! Michelle McCool: Aaaand? Chuck Taylor: I will not harm and or threaten a single man, woman, child, or old disgusting wrinkly grandma. Michelle McCool: That's right! Now since I'm going to be busy with the Divas Battle Royal up next, don't go around thinking that you don't have me to worry about, because I WILL see everything you do, understand, Charles? EVERYTHING. Now go out there and win me a match, babe! And she gave Chuck another smack on the ass, making him shriek the loudest. Chuck gathered up his bad and his pile of 6x10's and ran away, with Michelle McCool in pursuit. Matt Striker: Damn man, that is a crazy bitch, where was she when I was teaching? UMB, you know what I me---OH! Hello! Welcome back to ringside, ladies and gentlemen. Ultramantis Black, Chuck and Michelle seem to have a really weird relationship going on right now. Ultramantis Black: Indeed, Striker, but this may payoff for Chuck Taylor in the end. She may be able to get through his thick skull that he needs to concentrate on his opponents instead of the kids barking at him at ringside. Let me tell you a story, a story that involves yours truly! I once dated a woman like Michelle McCool. Her name was Carol. She was a lovely woman, very sexy I'll have you know, Striker. But the head was useless, nyaaah! Matt Striker: And did she stop your schemes to take over the world? Ultramantis Black: Nope. Matt Striker: So what's the story? Ultramantis Black: The story is that that Carol was damned good in bed, I don't know what Chuck Taylor is complaining about! Matt Striker: Well if Chuck doesn't shape up, Michelle McCool is going to teach Chuck a history lesson he won't ever forget! Hahaha! Ultramantis Black: Umm, I believe Michelle McCool taught Physical Education. ... ... Matt Striker: Well they don't know that! Ultramantis Black: ...Now they do. Well honestly, that doesn't even work anyway. For instance, you had a wide selection of sexual innuendos you could have used based on her former Phys Ed job but didn't. I am disappointed, Striker. Matt Striker: Let's just move on, we have the Divas Battle Royal coming up. I know you're looking forward to that, UMB. Ultramantis Black: You know it, Striker. I cannot wait to see these minxes stop being all nice and get a little down and dirty with each other. Oh, and wrestle too, I guess. Striker sighed as divas began to make their entrance. We went to a brief commercial to pay the bills while the rest of the Throwdown divas emptied the ladies locker room and headed to the ring. When we returned, all of the divas from Throwdown were present: The Bella twins, Gail Kim, Lacey, ODB, Jillian Hall, Christy Hemme, Natalya, Maria, and finally, Michelle McCool. After a short introduction and review of the rules from Bobby Cruise, the bell rang for the match to begin. quoteGail Kim celebrated the victory for Sweet and Sour Incorporated and the shot at Melina's Unified Women's Championship at Boiling Point. While Melina (shown on the titantron) had a staredown with Gail in the ring, things weren't so celebration-worthy for the rest of Sweet and Sour Inc. Larry Sweeney and Bryan Danielson were heading down a hallway, Sweeney still looking furious. Larry Sweeney: This guy's got another thing comin'. He thinks just because he's the General Manager, he can make all the rules! Bryan Danielson: Erm... Larry Sweeney: 'Ya see Bryan, even though I've brought you to superstardom and bought that mansion of yours, you're still the same kid from Aberdeen. Laws and rules don't rule the world---they can be broken or twisted accordingly. Tyrants don't rule the world---they can be brought down with a single gunshot. Money is the only thing that rules this world, you see? And back here, I'm the one with the most of it! Not even JBL can top me! I call the shots, baby! Sweeney and Danielson stopped before the door of JBL's office, but Sweeney wasn't done. Sweeney continued to rant on for several minutes. When he was done, he had his hands on his hips, was pacing back and forth, his golden locks were a mess, and his suit was stuck to his skin with sweat. Larry Sweeney: Is this his office? Bryan Danielson: Yeah. Do you, uh, wanna go in or what? Larry Sweeney: Yeah, come on, I'm gonna tell this southern bumpkin what I think of him! Sweeney barged into JBL's office, bringing the General Manager inside to his feet in protest. JBL opened his mouth to speak, but Larry cut across. Larry Sweeney: Look here, Bradshaw! I am Sweet and Sour Larry Sweeney, the biggest super agent in the entire world! You can't just book me in whatever you want, pal! I'm not going to wrestle the Undertaker, whether you make me or not! I mean I could beat him anytime I want, trust me, but I've got other stuff to do tonight, 'ya see? I'm a busy man, Bradshaw, I have more important things to do instead of wrestling an undead phenom that wants his hands on my neck! Do you understand? I ain't wrestling and that's final! John Bradshaw Layfield: Are you done? Good. Do you know what I've done to people that have just barged into my office, Larry Sweeney? Last week, Jack Swagger did just that and now he has to wrestle four other human beings that are going to be more than happy to rip him apart. Larry, I heard your rant outside. It was nice and cute and I have to admit, you're right on almost every point single point. And that is that you will be wrestling the Throwdown World Heavyweight Champion tonight, whether you like it or not. Do you understand? Larry Sweeney: THIS IS A CONSPIRACY, I TELL 'YA! I COULD SINK THIS ENTIRE COMPANY IF I WANTED TO! John Bradshaw Layfield: Surely a "super" agent of your stature would learn to read fine print. In your contract it clearly states that we are able to book you however we want, whenever we want, and however we want. Tonight you will be wrestling the Undertaker, or else I'll take you to court and we'll end up seeing who has the better lawyer friends. If, like you say, I don't have more money than you do now, then I certainly will then. So it's your choice Sweeney: A few broken bones and a hospital bill, or all of your money going BYE-BYE. The General Manager grinned down at Sweeney, who looked like he didn't know whether to shout or break down and cry. Bryan Danielson put his arm around Larry and patted him on the back, leading him to the door. John Bradshaw Layfield: Oh yes, and one more thing. Since you decided to come barging into my office, Larry Sweeney, I just thought of a perfect stipulation for your match with the Undertaker later tonight. And main event time comes rollin' around, I'll be out there to announce exactly what it is I'm talking about. See you there. And JBL cracked another grin at Sweeney, who grimaced and growled, then let Sweeney lead him back to SnS Headquarters to get ready for his match with the World Champ. [color=#666666]This message was edited by Cattle Mutilation on May 07 2009. ------------------- | |
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quote quick quote edit quick edit del posts in thread report
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Cattle Mutilation ha ha he ha ha ho
Hooked on Neo total posts: 4520 since: Jul 2007 |
May 03, 09 at 8:29am |
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MONDAY NIGHT THROWDOWN | TD Banknorth Garden | Boston, Massachusetts PART TWO! Part 2 opened with cameras scanning around the crowd, fans bobbing up and down on their feet in anticipation awaiting the music of the Charismatic Enigma to hit. However, they would have to wait. Excuse me for just a moment... DUN DUN DUN-DUH DUH DUH-DUN DUN DUN DUN-BUMPA BUMPA BUMPA DUH DUN DUH DUN DUN! The crowd booed as the Russian Cyborg Vladimir Kozlov appeared on the entrance way in full Soviet Military garb, looking more like Jean-Claude Van Damme in Street Fighter than a soldier in the Red Army. Still intimidating as hell, as one glance from Kozlov in the direction of a booing fan would silence them immediately. He stomped up the stairs, making sure to slam his boots into the steel stairs as hard as he could before he entered the ring and took off the military uniform to his traditional white wrestling tights. Kozlov's music faded out and there was silence for a moment, until Jeff Hardy's music hit, bringing the crowd to its feet. Hardy appeared, dancing on the stage and punching the air as fiery pyro flew all about. He skipped down the entrance way, high fiving a few fans and getting into the ring where he taunted on the turnbuckles, but not for long as Kozlov attacked him from behind, beginning the match. quoteVladimir got to his feet and raised his arms as he let our a ferocious yell. Hardy meanwhile, was---oops, excuse me for just a moment. DUN DUN DUN-DUH DUH DUH-DUN DUN DUN DUN-BUMPA BUMPA BUMPA DUH DUN DUH DUN DUN! Kozlov grabbed his Red Army uniform and exited the ring, but not before spitting down at the motionless body of Jeff Hardy. He yanked open the curtain and headed for his locker room where a bottle of Vodka (NOT THAT DISGUSTING SILLY AMERICAN VODKA) and a couple of hookers were awaiting him. It took several minutes for Hardy to regain his wits about him, and when he did, he could barely get to his feet. He stumbled and staggered, nearly collapsing on the ropes. Then the crowd began to boo and scream, trying to warn Jeff that he was about to be attacked. However, it was too late. From behind, Matt Hardy appeared from under the ring and slammed a steel chair into the back of Jeff Hardy. Hardy yelled out in agony and collapsed, as the crowd booed themselves hoarse at Matt Hardy who cracked a smirk at the crowd. Matt tossed the chair out of the ring, up the rampway as he exited the ring. The crowd died down, thinking that it was over, but it was far from it. Matt cracked another smirk as he tossed open the skirt of the ring apron and reached under the ring, pulling from its depths a fifteen foot-tall steel ladder. Matt slid into the ring, smiling down at his brother who was once again crawling and trying to get to his feet, but just unable to. Matt kicks Jeff's hands out from under him, making Jeff collapse in a heap. Matt held the ladder above his head, pointing the top rung down at his brother. He waited, savoring the frightened, disgusted, and concerned looks of his brother's fans. He then slammed the ladder into Jeff Hardy's back. Hardy's head snapped up, his face not even able to tell what kind of pain he was now experiencing. Matt slammed the ladder down into Jeff's back ten more times as referees entered the ring, trying to get him to stop. Matt, however merely swung the ladder in their general direction, scaring them out of the ring. Cracking another smile, Matt slammed the ladder back down into his brother's back. Jeff reacted like a fish out of water, flopping about as the pain coiled down through his body. Matt turned his brother over, so he could see the pain in Jeff's eyes. Matt was emotionless as he slapped his brother across the face, completely serene in this moment of senseless violence. He picked up the ladder once again as he turned his brother's head over. He pointed the ladder down at Jeff, aiming and looking around at all the crying boys and girls. He then slammed the ladder down into Jeff's head. The crowd gasped as Jeff's legs flopped up and down, the rest of his body motionless. Matt pulled the ladder off of his face, throwing it aside and looking down at his brother where the top of the ladder had made an indentation in his brother's skin. Matt smiled one last time, widest yet, and exited the ring, but not before raising his arms in I guess what was victory. Matt disappeared behind the curtain as referees and paramedics rushed the ring to get Jeff medical attention. Throwdown went to commercial, with the announcers too stunned to even comment. When we returned, we found the concerned face of Matt Striker at the announce table. Even Ultramantis Black looked concerned beneath his mask. Striker told the fans that Jeff was now being rushed to a hospital. Matt Striker: ...I uh... I just cannot believe the despicable actions we have seen from Matt Hardy tonight. One of the... one of the most heinous acts I've ever seen in a professional wrestling ring. Um, let's head backstage, where Kyle Durden is standing by with the All-American American, Jack Swagger. Kyle Durden: Thanks, Striker. I'm here with Jack Swagger, who tonight is scheduled to face all four members of The Blue Bloods. Jack, that is a lot of talent you have to contend with, including Layla. People have said that Nigel McGuinness and DJ Gabriel have the potential to be two of the top stars in Full Throttle Wrestling, and you won't find many people that know more about professional wrestling than William Regal. How are you going to contend with four people, Jack? Jack Swagger: I don't know, but I'm going to find a way. This is nothing new for me, Kyle. Before I became a pro wrestler, my amateur wrestling coaches always used push me to the limit and find out just how much fight is in me. Well I may look like your average college frat boy, but I can fight with the meanest of dogs out there. The sooner JBL realizes that, I'll be headed for the Throwdown World Heavyweight Championship! 'Ya got that?! Swagger shoved Kyle aside and exited the frame as we returned to the ring, where we found Chuck Taylor making his way to the ring with his, uh, girlfriend I guess, Michelle McCool. Michelle had wrestled in her teacher outfit, so she had changed into yet another teacher outfit, this one even sexier than the last if that was possible. Chuck posed on the turnbuckles then flipped back into the center of the ring, where Michelle gave him a good smack on the ass where Chuck let out a shriek. Chuck eyed a particular kid in the front row that was bothering him, but he resisted exiting the ring and punching him in his stupid adolescent face. Next out was Hurricane Helms to a warm reception from the crowd. Despite a successful surgery to repair two vertebrae in his neck, he had been struggling to get back into the mix since he returned. However, after a big win over Jimmy Wang Yang two weeks ago, Helms announced on his blog that he's ready to climb the Jr. Heavyweight division once again. Helms slid into the ring and posed for the cameras with a grin as Chuck Taylor rolled his eyes, apparently not very impressed. Tyson Kidd along with his girlfriend Natalya made their entrance, with Natalya busying herself over his rather unique hairstyle. Like Chuck Taylor, Tyson Kidd was a rising force in the Jr. Heavyweight division and had been making a name for himself, even taking Brian Kendrick to the limit in a championship match back at Holiday Havoc. A student of the infamous Hart Dungeon, Tyson wants to prove he can be the future of Full Throttle Wrestling and when people look back on his achievements, they'll see that FTW Jr. Heavyweight title. And finally came Kofi Kingston to a big reaction from the crowd. Fans played along with Kofi as green pyro shot off the sides of the stage when he slapped his hands over his head, striking his signature pose. Kofi was a part of a big trade that sent him to Throwdown and Tyler Black to Rampage. Despite some nice matches on Throwdown, including an upset over the Rated R Superstar Edge that led to a brief feud where he came up short, Kofi hasn't been able to get over that hump. A Jr. Heavyweight Championship around his waist could change things, though. Kofi skipped up the steps and posed on the turnbuckles, then hopped up as he awaited for the referee to get the match set to begin. quoteThe crowd booed as Natalya and Kidd embraced in a warm hug inside the ring then raised his arm in victory with a wide grin on his face, now perhaps one of the leading men in contention for the Jr. Heavyweight Championship. Taylor began to yell in frustration, kicking the stairs and threatening even more kids. Michelle realized that the ear-drag wasn't going to work anymore, so instead began to smack him across the ass and back with her signature ruler, all the way to the back as Kidd and Natalya continued their celebration. We went backstage where we found the British Blue Bloods alongside Maria. Layla was practically hanging off of William Regal as Nigel tried his best to look like a grouchy bulldog and DJ Gabriel did a little jig behind them. Maria Kanellis: Hi, right now I'm with the Blitish Brue Buds, who in just a few moments are going to face Jack Swagger. William Regal, what are your thoughts on this match? William Regal: Well first I would suggest you repeated the third grade, but in regards to Jack Swagger, he's going to learn that everyone has their place in the world, and no one is above the authorities. All you Americans are like that. Hell, if you weren't like that, there would have been no Revolutionary War in the first place, and because of you hooligans, we now have a new war each month. So we can thank kids like Jack Swagger for all of the problems we have today. Maria Kanellis: Even swine flu? William Regal: Oh shut up, you ditsy slag. Maria didn't take this as much of an insult, instead she looked a bit confused. William Regal: Fact of the matter is, The British Blue Bloods are moving up, and the "All-American American" Jack Swagger is moving down. DJ Gabriel! The man with all the moves and the face to go on magazines. Nigel McGuinness! The nastiest Lariats I believe I've ever seen. Even Layla... the most gorgeous diva of all time. And then there's me. And even though my age is catching up to me just a bit, I'm still as good as I ever was and you can bet your arse that I'll be aiming to get back into World Title contention. But first, we are going to take care of Mr. Swagger, and teach him that Americans---even All-American Americans, have no place in the future of Full Throttle Wrestling. Boys, head to the ring. Maria Kanellis: Well there you have it! William Re--- But Maria's voice was muffled when Layla grabbed her by around the mouth and shoved her aside for the British Blue Bloods to make their way past. The last thing we saw was the pained expression on Maria's face as we went to commercial. When we returned, the Blue Bloods were making their way to the ring, Regal looking smug with Layla draped all over him and Nigel laughing at the obnoxious Americans. DJ... well DJ was dancing as usual. Nigel did his signature slide into the ring as DJ finished up his dance routine and Layla held the ropes open for Regal. Despite not being a fan-favorite, the crowd cheered when Jack Swagger made his entrance, who appeared to be a bit concerned actually. Jack slid into the ring, and of course, was immediately jumped by the Brits. quoteThe crowd booed as the Blue Bloods celebrated as though it had been a long, grueling, and hard-earned match. Each of them individually them stepped on Swagger as they made their way out of the ring and back to their locker room for an after party. Minutes later, Swagger stumbled to his feet, barely able to keep his balance. The crowd then began to boo even more as the face of John Bradshaw Layfield appeared on the titantron. JBL smiled around at all of them, especially the battered Jack Swagger in the ring. John Bradshaw Layfield: Well, Mr. All-American American, I sure as hell haven't learned a lesson like all the advertisements have been saying. Have you? Well I hope so, and I'm being completely serious here, Mr. Swagger. You see, I like you. I even see a little bit of me in you. But if you ever try to disrespect me again, I will personally see to it that you never wrestle in a Eff Tee Dubya ring ever again. Now do you 'got that?' JBL then laughed as the crowd continued to boo and Swagger fell to his knees in the ring, succumbing to the pain. John Bradshaw Layfield: Anyway, I have much more bigger fish to fry, and our main event is next. I'll see you all out there in just a few moments. And the last we saw of JBL before the commercial was his wide-grinned expression as Jack Swagger grimaced in the ring. When we returned, we heard, for the first time tonight, the laughter of Larry Sweeney. BWAAAAAHAHAHAHAHA! Ain't no doubt about it, baby! However, it was only the introduction to the theme music of Sweet and Sour Inc. When Sweeney did appear on the entrance stage along with the rest of his clients, he looked like he was about to be sent to slaughter. He looked miserable, despite Danielson and Gail Kim cheering him on and giving him advice. When they reached the end of the rampway, Sweeney turned around and tried to run away, but Danielson caught him and told him that he didn't have a choice. Sweeney looked like he wanted to cry as he crawled his way back towards the ring. He once again tried to run away, but Danielson and Gail caught him before he could get a running start. Gail even giving him a big kiss on the lips couldn't cheer him up as they shoved him towards the stairs, where he nearly tripped over his own feet because he was so pathetic. He entered the ring, collapsing in the corner and hugging himself as his music died away. BAAWROOOOONGGGGG As the lights dimmed and the famous (infamous, depending on who you're talking to) faint blue light filled the arena, Larry Sweeney finally broke down. His hysteric crying could be heard as the bell continued to chime out. BAAWROOOOONGGGGG The crowd was on its feet in anticipation as smoke filled the entrance way and the funeral music began. Danielson and Gail had to console Sweeney in the ring, who was rocking back and forth as he sobbed. The Undertaker appeared, the crowd nearly exploding in happiness. Taker had wide, ferocious eyes, as he made his way to the ring, staring holes through Larry Sweeney who was now trying to make his escape once again. Taker raised his arms and returned the arena lights, a wide grin on his face as the fear on Larry Sweeney's face was much more magnified in the light than in the darkness. Taker entered the ring, taking off his jacket and then his hat. When his head snapped up with his eyes rolled into the back of his head, Sweeney jumped back in fear and fell out of the ring, spilling to the floor as the crowd laughed and chanted "TAKER TAKER!" Taker unfastened the Throwdown World Heavyweight Championship belt from around his waist and held it high above his head as a clap of thunder could be heard somewhere off in the distance. Larry Sweeney was begging Bryan and Gail not to make him get in the ring, but they had no choice and rolled their boss into the ring. Sweeney looked at Bryan and Gail with anger and disbelief on his face as he backed up, right into the Deadman himself! Sweeeney froze on the spot, paralyzed with fear as he slowly turned around. When he saw Taker, he once again jumped back as though he had just been electrocuted. Now another bell was chiming out, this time the one of the New York Stock Exchange as a stretch white limo appeared off the side of the stage. Outstepped JBL, decked in his spotless clean suit and cowboy hat. He eyed the yelling fans in annoyance, even barking back at some of the ones that cursed at him. He made his way down to the ring, his smile returned as he stepped over the ropes and got in between the World Champ and Super Agent Larry Sweeney. Bobby Cruise hurried into the ring and handed his boss a microphone, then scattered away as JBL's smile stretched even wider across his face. John Bradshaw Layfield: Larry Sweeney, I made this match much for the same reasons as I booked the Jack Swagger Handicap match. Because you disrespected the boss! Well I hope after this match, you and Mr. Swagger can have a good, long talk about the lessons you've learned. However, I don't think a singles match against the Undertaker is enough! No, no, no, no no! We need a fun little stipulation, don't you fans here in Boston think? The fans cheered. John Bradshaw Layfield: Well shut up because a business man such as myself doesn't value your opinion anyway. And then the fans booed. John Bradshaw Layfield: There have been hundreds of matches in FTW history. Some used to make money, some used to end feuds, and some to decide the true wrestling champion. But there is one that I think is under-utilized in our sport, and that is the Special Guest Referee match! Matt Striker: Whoa, UMB! A Special Guest Referee match is always huge! I mean it is, after all, a Special Guest Referee match! Mr. McMahon, Stone Cold Steve Austin, and several others come to mind when it comes to Special Guest Referees! Ultramantis Black: Come on, Mr. Layfield, please make it Ms. Keibler and make my day! Nyaaah! John Bradshaw Layfield: Please let me introduce you all to the Special Guest Referee for The Undertaker versus Larry Sweeney! JBL turned towards the stage and paused, with his hands together before him. He then dropped the mic and tossed off his sports coat as the crowd began to boo, figuring out what JBL was trying to do. He unbuttoned his dress shirt and loosened his tie, revealing a FTW Referee's shirt underneath as the rest of the crowd began to chime in with their jeering. John Bradshaw Layfield: ME! And the crowd gave one more outburst of booing as the smile on JBL's face stretched widest yet. Taker's glowered at JBL as Sweeney's jittery shakes ceased and a glimmer of hope appeared on his face. John Bradshaw Layfield: Oh, but Larry Sweeney don't think for a second that I am going to call this match in favor of you just because of my little thing going on with the Deadman right now. Personally, I hope you to kill each other! So while I promise that I'm going to be fair and impartial, if, say, Ms. Gim or Mr. Danielson feel obligated to come into the ring and help out their boss, then I don't think I'll have too much of a problem. So! Mark Eaton! Ring the damn bell! quoteThe crowd couldn't believe it. The Undertaker had fallen to Larry Sweeney and his goons because of... because of Batista?! Batista raised Larry Sweeney's arm as Gail and Danielson appeared at their sides to also raise their arms in victory. JBL was laughing, forgetting that he even wanted revenge on Larry Sweeney now that a new business opportunity had presented itself in the Animal Dave Batista. JBL grabbed Batista by the wrist and together they all stood in the ring with their arms up high in victory as the Taker remained motionless in the ring. The celebration lasted all the way up the rampway, where they shared laughs and high-fives and hugs. Then the lights completely went out as thunder clapped once again. The lights returned, almost blindingly-bright. The Undertaker was back on his feet. AND HE WAS PIIIIIIISSED. Taker paced back and forth, his growls audible over the few remaining screaming fans. Taker then yanked down his straps and dragged his thumb across his throat as he stared bullets through Dave Batista, who on the entrance stage, was gaping at what he was seeing. The lights then went out, and when they returned, the Throwdown World Heavyweight Champion had disappeared. Sweet and Sour Incorporated, JBL, and Batista stared back at the ring for a moment, with Larry Sweeney gulping in fear. Then Batista began to laugh, clutching his belly and patting his thigh. The rest joined in as the crowd booed, the celebration continued, and Throwdown faded to black. [color=#666666]This message was edited by Cattle Mutilation on May 07 2009. ------------------- | |
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killer iPod Billy :D
Resident Neo total posts: 2957 since: Apr 2008 |
May 03, 09 at 11:53am |
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Okay, here we go.
lol'd at Ege saying Losers Say What. lol great openening to the show. Rey Winning hmmm.. yay  I maybe the only guy who likes Rey but I don't give damn. Great match. Jeff distracting Matt and Rey dropkicking him for the 619 etc.. was a great way to end it imo.Another good match here. lol'd at the SHIIIINING BLAAACCK. Dissapointed Shelton and Kendrick didn't get the win but MVP and Jimmy and just as good so everyones a winner. also lol'd at the ZTR reference xD.  Never been a fan of Gail Kim, mainly because she doesn't turn me on. lol, Jeff isn't goign to win when your the writer lol. Good match. lol'd at Kozlov's vodka and hookers. Matt had to either interfere or hurt Jeff in some way after earlier. I was just waiting for it to happen. Fatal Four-Way. Hmmm.. Kidd winning isn't so bad. Finish was funny though with McCool grabbing Chuck's ear. xD!! Blitish Brue Buds. Then Regal telling her to go back to the 3rd grade but said he understood because of Swagger lol. Ditsy slag.. lol. No surprises here. 4-1, 1 is never gonna win lol. I'd hit Layla. She should of been int he Divas Battle Royal Again lol'd at Layla breaking Swaggers nose instantly.*bleep*ING lol'd so god damn hard at the Michael Cole pics lol. Look at his eyes and mouth LoL!! Nice match, Sweeney winning was a surprise imo. Batista lol. xD at you writing so much it came out of the quote tag lol. Great show like always Cattle. You put a lot of effort into this and it really shows by how much your write and how good it is. Sorry this wasn't very good feedback, was jsut be reading it tbh lol. Still though a comments a comment and it's probably good to know that I liked it I suppose lol. -------------------  | |
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Cattle Mutilation ha ha he ha ha ho
Hooked on Neo total posts: 4520 since: Jul 2007 |
May 03, 09 at 6:26pm |
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Nah man, thanks a lot, this is the sort of feedback I look forward to. I love the responses you and Cradle Shock give.
Layla's going to be in the Rampage Battle Royal because she & the Blue Bloods are on Rampage. JBL was just using their "talents" for tonight, hehe. That Losers Say What is from experience. I used to say WHAT?! all the time when I was in Elementary School and this kid would always say "Losers Say What?" And of course, I would fall for it EVERY TIME xD. Fallout from Throwdown is going up tomorrow with looooads of announcements. ------------------- | |
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 Zhou Tai RocksI'm a loser at life. ♫
CruisiN'     total posts: 21071 GameGrep pts: 601 since: Nov 2005 |
 May 03, 09 at 6:33pm |
  .... ....... . . . . .. . . ..*waves hands in awkwards motions, not knowing what to say and also signals that he resents the fact he was mentioned in Shelton's earlier match, you should honestly have more respect for people good sir - and seriously The Animal is like the most talented member of your roster, he needs the world title like seriously and Jack Swagger really should've beat those hoes, he's like the most talented member of your roster, he needs the world title* ------------------- | |
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Cattle Mutilation ha ha he ha ha ho
Hooked on Neo total posts: 4520 since: Jul 2007 |
May 03, 09 at 6:42pm |
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But I had him beat Carlito a few weeks ago!
And we have good things planned for Batista and Jack Swaggah. Nothing for Shelton though. He doesn't win a match from here on out.  ------------------- | |
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Zhou Tai Rocks I'm a loser at life. ♫
CruisiN' total posts: 21071 GameGrep pts: 601 since: Nov 2005 |
May 03, 09 at 6:46pm |
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I'm PMing all of my friends links to this diary and telling them to boycott it and read the shows, then post comments on how you need to imporve.
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Cattle Mutilation ha ha he ha ha ho
Hooked on Neo total posts: 4520 since: Jul 2007 |
May 03, 09 at 6:57pm |
quote Zhou Tai Rocks... GOOD BECAUSE THAT'S WHAT I WANT IN THE FIRST PLACE! BTW... You've tasted Sweet and Sour Chicken... You've tasted Sweet and Sour Shrimp... You've tasted Sweet and Sour Pork... Now it's time to taste:  ------------------- | |
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