It was the best of times it was the worst of times. For the WWE; however it was definitely the latter. Ratings were at an all-time low which Vince (and HHH) attributed to Chris Jericho’s one hour transition reign between Cena and Batista’s year long reigns. After firing Jericho (and Shelton Benjamin) Vince decided on the most sensible option, other than NOT putting talented people over. What else, but making a television show for wrestlers. It was called In Your House: All In One House literally. The show is actually quite pointless. The concept of the show is ten wrestlers living in one house. The last man standing gets the house, half a million dollars and control of the ECW brand.

Eliminations occur:

1. If someone is counted out from the house. Count outs vary for different participants.
2. If someone voluntarily quits.
3. Death
4. If a participant insults Cena

The results of the qualifying matches are as follows:

Undertaker defeats Edge in a classic bore-fest via Tombstone

John Cena defeats Kung Fu Naki via clothesline

Hulk Hogan defeats Kevin Nash after Nash is unable to continue due to pulling his hamstring while walking down the ramp.

Triple H wins.

Batista defeats Kane by merely looking at him.

Bret Hart complains and moans his way into the competition.

HBK’s wife was punched by a certain unemployed person and after HBK threatened the WWE with legal action, he was inserted into the contest.

Stone Cold Steve Austin is inserted into the show after refusing to lose to Brock Lesnar and “beating” his wife, again.

Randy Orton qualifies after a cutting a boring and monotonous promo.

Eddie Guererro was scheduled to face Owen Hart however both men no-showed and thus Jeff Hardy qualified.

Day 1 results will soon be up.

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"3. Death"

"Triple H wins."

"Eddie Guererro was scheduled to face Owen Hart however both men no-showed and thus Jeff Hardy qualified."

I will read because of these.

I agree with Pedigree's entire post. Maybe add in the Hogan/Nash one too.

And also, rehire Shelton Benjamin.

Day One

All the competitors are gathered around Vince McMahon outside the house.

Vince: Welcome to the inauguration of In Your House: All in One House. Gentlemen, as you all know I am a man of few words so…

Vince leaves. The competitors are left staring at each other. They slowly turn and enter the house. They begin exploring the house and gather together outside the bedroom.

HHH: Now I think you’ve all discovered uhh… that there is only one bedroom uhh… in the middle of this house uhh…

*awkward moment*

They open the door.

SCSA: There’s only one bed.

*even more awkward moment*

John Cena: I guess this is a bad to mention that I’m gay.

*extremely awkward moment*

HBK: Hey look there’s a note on the bed.

HHH picks it up. The note reads as follows:

Due to budget cuts and my NOT and I repeat NOT
being a billionaire. I was unable to provide more than one
bed for you ten. Now I know you may feel awkward
but I know you’ll manage. By the way the bed is Cena’s.

HHH: It says the bed is mine-uhh.

SCSA snatches it from him.

SCSA: It says the bed is mine and that’s the bottom line cause Stone Cold said so.

The note is passed to Undertaker.

Taker (cornily): I didn’t come here for a nap I came for your souuuulllllll!

Hogan takes the note.

Hogan: It says the bed is mine brother.

Batista takes it.

Batista: *bleep* it says the bed is Hogan’s. Congratulations Hogan I want my rematch

Hogan: I’ll fight you on three conditions. One I win the match. Two you pay me 10 million dollars for it. And three you get my son out of jail brother!

Batista: Grr! That title belongs to me!

Orton: Hey……….the……….bed………is…….

*SPINEBUSTER* Batista lays Orton out

HBK: Now hold on a second if anyone deserves the bed. It’s H-B-K!

Bret: *bleep* off H-B-Gay. I was screwed by you. I was screwed by Vince. I deserve respect I-

SCSA: Just cause you were banged by a bunch of S.O.B.s doesn’t mean you can get the bed, ya fag. No gays on the bed!

Batista and HHH look uncomfortable and let go of each other’s hands

Cena: AWWWWW!

HBK: Hey guys wanna know how I screwed Bret…………..’s wife

Bret: That does it!

Bret jumps onto HBK and the two begin brawling. Everyone else joins in. Everyone except Jeff.

Jeff: Hey look colours!

Jeff passes out from drug overdose. Everybody stops to look at Jeff for a moment.

Everybody: Meh!

They begin fighting again

End of Day 1

"Jeff: Hey look colours!"

Quote of the day.

Why are you making Cena gay in your diary? Even ZTR makes him gay. lol.

Thanks for the replies guys. I appreciate them.

I love wrestling spin-off show diaries like this.

LMAO Greatness

Day Two

None of the ten slept well since Hogan’s ego won a battle royal for the bed.

Morning…

Batista enters the bathroom and finds Jeff filling and “emptying” the medicine cabinet.

Batista: What are you doing?

Jeff: I am pursuing my colourful extra-curricular activities

Batista: Come again?

Jeff: I am spending some recreational time.

Batista: Huh?

Jeff: I am doing drugs.

Batista: Oh! Got any steroids?

Jeff: No. Of course not. I only take cocaine, heroin, marijuana…………………………etc

Batista: Grr! I want my rematch

Cena (from downstairs): Breakfast time.

Everybody rushes downstairs.

Cena: What do you want for breakfast Hogan?

Hogan: Ten million dollars, Brother.

Cena: What do you want for breakfast HHH?

HHH: The WWE Titleuhh.

Cena: What do you want for breakfast Batista?

Batista: I want my rematch.

Cena: What do you want for breakfast Austin?

SCSA: I want a can of whoop-a**.
Cena: What do you want for breakfast Jeff. (completely ignoring Orton)

Jeff: Oh look those colours are coming back.

Jeff falls out of his chair. Orton starts waving his arms to attract Cena’s attention.

Cena: Right. Forgive my continuous repetition. But what do you want for breakfast … Bret?

Bret: I was screwed. Dammit I was screwed!

HBK: So was your wife.

Bret: *bleep* you.

They start brawling and leave the room.

Cena (still ignoring Orton): Where’s Taker?

*GONG*

The lights go out.

SCSA: Turn those lights back on!

Orton: Oh sorry.

He turns the lights again.

*GONG*

Taker’s feet appear at the top of the stairs and he makes his entrance.

HHH: That’s gonna take a whileuhh.

Taker arrives by lunch time.

End of morning.

LMFAO @ Batista's "I want my rematch" for breakfast.

LOL'd at the last part too! "HHH: That’s gonna take a whileuhh."

I love Triple H!

Keep it up dude!

Thanks man. Rest of day 2 will soon be up.

quote

Cena: What do you want for breakfast Hogan?

Hogan: Ten million dollars, Brother.

Lold irl. xD

I like this man, continue. (y)

Thanks for the comments guys. I really appreciate them. The rest of day 2 will be up soon.