WWE News- Vince McMahon has just announced that there will be a singing competition between In Your House's final two contestants. To make this more interesting the judges for the competition will be from amongst you the fans-er I mean casual readers. There will be three judges for the competition. Once the judges are decided I will post the competition day (yes, judges will make appearances) and the judges will have to PMme both participants score (out of 10) for the competition. After that I'll anounce the winner
Application is below for anyone who is interested. Just copy, fill it and post it.Choose one option per question.


Question 1: Why do you want to apply for this post?


a) I love this diary and have been an avid reader throughout. Yes, I am a dirty liar.

b) Why are you pointing that gun at me?

c) I have no life

d) I'm gay

e) <insert your own less cheesy option>

Question 2: What are you're qualifications?

a) I have diabetes!

b) Please put that gun down!

c) I'm attracted to Shelton Benjamin (ugh!)

d) Does knowing ZTR count? (No)

e) <insert your own less cheesy option>


Question 3: Are you biased towards any of the participants?

a) Of course not!

b) No wait! Don't shoot! I'll apply!

c) Towards Cena. Gotta love his 'champ'!

d) Towards Batista. I wanna 'ride' the animal!

e) <insert your own less cheesy option>

Just to update. One judge spot is remaining. So if anyone wants to apply please hurry. First come first serve.

Got more applications then expected so I've upped the judges to 5. It'll make the competition more competitive anyways. Right the judges have been selected and expect an update by the weekend.

Triple post ftl.

Day 16-In Your House: MusicMania!

Vince: Ladies and Gentlemen welcome to MusicMania!

The small crowd of 14 people gathered in the house lawn clap.

Lilian: Introducing first the panel of judges! First from the heart of Shelton Benjamin-sorry I mean the nightmares of Shelton Benjamin-DivineDragoonnnnnn!

DivineDragoon: I’m just Shelton’s boy!

Chorus: Shelton’s boy!

Lilian: Next! From the Palace of Wisdom-Singe Maaaasstttteeerrrsssss!

Singe: Be Jealous!

Lilian: Next! From Mongolia! Tiillllllaaaakkkkkk!

Tilak: That was random.

Lilian: Next! From a friendly suburb in Maine! M_N_M 48something!

MNM: I AM PERFECTION!

He sees Cena looking at him.

MNM: I mean-I can’t rhyme nope-not at all.

Lilian: And finally! From Burger King-Mattjh6 Version 1!

Mattjh: Actually its version 1.3. Ohhhhhhh yeeeaaaaaaahhhhh!

Vince: Well folks you now know the judges! Before we get this competition underway let us get an appetizer in the form of some of WWE’s latest theme songs! First a performance by an aspiring new artist ILUVCITY! He will be performing Cody Rhodes’ new theme song!

ILUVCITY makes his way to the stage. A guitar riff starts and ILUVCITY begins his song.

ILUVCITY (in monotone): Cody Rhodes, Cody Rhodes, Cody Rhodes, Cody Rhodes, Cody Rhodes, Cody Rhodes, Cody Rhodes, Cody Rhodes, Cody Rhodes, Cody Rhodes, Cody Rhodes, Cody Rhodes, Cody Rhodes, Cody Rhodes, Cody Rhodes, Cody Rhodes, Cody Rhodes, Cody Rhodes, Cody Rhodes, Cody Rhodes, Cody Rhodes, Cody Rhodes, Cody Rhodes, Cody Rhodes, Cody Rhodes, Cody Rhodes

This continues for a whole 5 minutes. The crowd is screaming in agony. Cena is getting jiggy with it.

Cena: I gotta find the lyrics to that!

The song ends.

Vince wipes a tear from his eye.

Vince: That was beautiful!

Tilak: Ugh! No wonder he’s an aspiring artist!

Vince: I wanna shake this guy’s hand.

Overjoyed, ILUVCITY runs towards Vince when Raven appears out of nowhere and hits him with an Evenflow DDT.

Raven: RAWR! I’m on TV!

DivineDragoon: That DDT is a definite 9!

Singe: 8.7!

MNM: 3!

Mattjh: V 1.3uhhhh! Er 4!

Tilak: Be Jealous!

Singe: That’s my line. Be Jealous!

Vince: And now on to the competition!

Lilian: The following contest is a singing match! Now both participants will sing 3 songs and the winner, the person who gets moarer points will be declared the winner!

*I WALK ALONE*

Batista makes his way to the stage. The crickets are chirruping wildly!

A tuba begins playing.

Batista: Grr! Dun dun dun dun, dun dun dun dun, Grrrrrrrrr! ABADO! Da tun tun dun, Da tun tun dun, Da tun tun dun, De tun tun dun.
Grr! Your Time is up my Time is now!
You can’t see me the title’s now-mine-now!

Cena: I swear I’ve heard that before!

Batista: In case you forgot to give me a match!
I’m gonna demand my rematch!
Grr! It’s my title boy!
I’m horny now!
You can’t *bleep* me I’m PG now!
Da tun tun dun, Da tun tun dun, Da tun tun dun, Da tun tun dun, Da tun tun dun, Da tun tun dunnnnnnn!

He finishes to chirrups from the crickets. They love-the popcorn!

DivineDragoon: Well your tone was a little flat and your er-who the hell am I kidding I can’t judge this!

Singe: Why did you get a line before me?

DivineDragoon: Be Jealous!

Vince: Next your friend and my friend with benefits! John Cena.

Cena walks up on stage and places a goblet of glass on the judge’s table.

Cena: Few people know that I’m an opera singer.

MNM: Really?

Cena: Yeah.

Tilak: Really?

Cena: Yeah

Mattjh: Ohhhhhh yeeeaaaaaaahhhhhhhh!

Cena begins with a high note.

Cena: LAAAAAAAAA!

Nothing happens to the glass.

Cena grabs a mic and screams like some banshee!

The goblet vibrates and then-



*GLASS SHATTERS*

Cena: Step up cause you’re the next one in line for the kill!
You don’t believe me but I’m betting that you will!
Step up cuz er-bibbbbibibibbiibiibib-only the beginning!
I'm breakin' the limit inside you!
Stop beggin' someone to hide you!
I'm breakin' the limit inside you!
Don't run away, bring it on STRAIGHT TO ME!

Vince: I wanna bring it straight to you Cena!

Cena: I'm breakin' the limit inside you!
Stop beggin' someone to hide you!
I'm breakin' the limit inside you!
Just go away Vince, Ziggler you can bring it on STRAIGHT TO ME!
Dad a da dun dun! DUN DUN! Dad a da dun dun! DUN DUN!

Singe: Er-I don’t know what to say so-Be Jealous!

MNM: Really?

Singe: Yeah

Tilak: Really?

Singe: Yeah

Mattjh: What’s this syringe doing in my arm?

He passes out.

Jeff: Hi. Sorry about that.

DivineDragoon: Next!

Batista: Turn it up!
Bangin’ Melina, Bangin’ Melina, Bangin’ Melina, Bangin’ Melina
Bangin’ Melina, Bangin’ Melina, Bangin’ Melina, Bangin’ Melina
Grr that was fun!
Turn it up
Bangin’ non-cancerous women, Bangin’ non-cancerous women, Bangin’ non-cancerous women, Bangin’ non-cancerous women, Bangin’ non-cancerous women, Bangin’ non-cancerous women, Bangin’ Linda McMahon!

Vince: Huh?

Batista: I wasn’t foolin’ around
Turn me up!
Turn me up!
That is er-if you don’t have cancer.

Tilak: No just no!

MNM: Really?

Tilak punches him.

Cena: Damn Batista that was good!

Singe: Be Jealous Cena-of me!

Cena: Singe your fat gut and boy bosoms make me jealous.

Singe: And rightfully so!

Cena: Well one of my informants-

Everyone looks at Vince.

Cena: -told me to sing this song. Note it is not intended to get one of the judges biased in my favor. Ahem.
AIN’T NO STOPPIN’ ME NOW!

DivineDragoon pees on Tilak’s pants.

Tilak: Sh*t!

Mattjh: Actually that’s p*ss not sh*t!

Cena: You can't rob the man, no stopping.
You can't rob the man, no stopping.
You can't rob the man, DivineDragoon’s pants are dropping.
Ain't no stopping me, no!

Vince: My pants are dropping too Cena.

Cena: Going for it all, just trying to be the best.
Soon I'll be kicking your a** Vince, nothing less.
Wanna be known, want their respect.
Throw me anything especially Ziggler, I'll pass that test.
AIN’T NO STOPPIN’ ME NOW!

DivineDragoon pees on MNM’s pants.

MNM: Really?

Kane_Hell: Yeah really.

MNM: PUUUUUUUUUNNNNNNKKKKKKKKKK!

MNM hits Divinedragoon with er- the Kozlov headbutt.

Vince: Beat that Batista!

Batista: Grr! GET READY TO FLY!

Vince: No no no! That song doesn’t exist. It was from an un-existing company called TNA. Sing a real song! Not one from an un-existing company called TNA!

Batista: Don’t mess with me Vince. You’ll regret it.

Tilak: Really?

Batista: You think I’m playing?

Mattjh: Ohhhhhhhhhh Yeaaaaaahhhhhhhhh!

Batista: Grr! Hit the music!
Dun dun dun dun dun, dun dun dun dun
Dun dun dun dun dun, dun dun dun dun
And there’s nooo holding me back!

Vince faints.

Batista: I’m not driven by fear
I’m just driven by titles (and non-cancerous women) and er men too
You’re under attack
Climbing up slowly.
Grr! Title and me only!
The spears, the spinebusters and you lie
On the mat on your behind
The fear, the hope inside
They hit here!
But whatever you need, ever you got, ever you want,
I’ll take my rematch again.
Whatever you need, ever you got, ever you want,
I’ll squash you again!
Dun dun dun dun dun, dun dun dun dun

Singe: Ahhhh! My ears! Whose song is that?

Tilak: Lalalalala can’t hear you! He never existed.

DivineDragoon: Actually it was the theme of er- the ShockMaster yeah thats right.

MNM: Really?

DivineDragoon: No gay-ly

MNM: Ooooo I like the sound of that.

Mattjh: I don’t.

MNM: Really?

Mattjh hits MNM with a Angle Slam.

Singe: That was random.

Cena meanwhile is nervously trying to revive Vince. ILUVCITY comes up to him.

ILUVCITY: Problem?

Cena: Yeah as much as I hate his gay advances I need Vince to give me a song to outdo Batista. He’s not waking up.

Vince secretly opens his eye and then closes it again.

Cena: Maybe if I give him mouth-to-mouth-

Vince starts trembling with anticipation.

ILUVCITY: Noo! I’ll give you a song to sing! Mine!

Cena: Wow! Thanks!

ILUVCITY: Yeah the lyrics are simple all you got to say is Cody Rhodes 3 times repeatedly. Here I’ll write it down.

He writes: “Cody Rhodes x 3, Cody Rhodes x 3, Cody Rhodes x 3, Cody Rhodes x 3”

Cena grabs the lyrics and heads to the stage.

Someone taps ILUVCITY on the shoulder. He turns around.

*PEDIGREE*

Vince: You son of a b*tch! Don’t ever come between me and Cena again!

Cena meanwhile stands nervously on stage.

Tilak: Come on man! We ain’t getting any younger move it!

Mattjh: Actually I am getting younger! Gaagaa googoo!

MNM: Rea-

Before MNM can finish he is hit with a 3-D by DivineDragoon and Mattjh.

Cena: Er-yeah so what’s the deal with those TV dinners anyways? It’s not like TVs need to eat anything anyway.

*Ba-dum-tish*

Singe: Dude this is a singing contest remember.

Cena: Speaking of singing contests, I went to the mall the other day and asked a salesman to sell me the latest CDs. He says, “Suit yourself” and I did. I don’t know what difference wearing a suit made.

Even the crickets stop chirruping.

Vince: John! Just read the lyrics!

Cena: Huh, oh you mean on the paper-okay.

Cena takes a deep breath.

Cena: Cody Rhodes ex 3, Cody Rhodes ex 3, Cody Rhodes ex 3, Cody Rhodes EX 3!

Cena lets out a flourish and increases his intensity.

Cena: Cody Rhodes-EX 3! Cosy Rhodes-EX 3!

The musicians catch on and add an extra flourish of note on the ‘EX 3’ bit.

Cena: Oh yeah! CODY RHODES-EX 3!

Crowd: EX 3!

Mattjh: EX 3!

Cena: This diary used to be funny
But it got lame
Now it’s time to take back the shame
Things ain’t never gonna be the same
Cause this is my life
MY GAME!
So watch In Your House it’s gonna be a blast
Filled with sophistication and loads of class
If you don’t agree
You can kiss my-

Cena holds the mic towards the audience.

Crowd: Er-b*tch?

Cena: So go go go, CODY RHODES-EX 3!

Crowd goes wild.

Vince: WOOO! CENA! YEAH! Ahem-Ladies and Gentlemen that concludes this competition and now the decision of the winner lies with you.

Vince points forward.

Random audience member: Me?

Vince: No! The judges dammit!

This concludes MusicMania. Hope you liked it.

End of Day 16

Judges kindly PM me both Cena and Batista’s scores out of ten based on all three songs each sang. Thank you. And please comment.

quote

Mattjh hits MNM with a Angle Slam.

Really?

quote

Before MNM can finish he is hit with a 3-D by DivineDragoon and Mattjh.

Really?

Pfft Y'all luckay I din't ask him to maek me hitchu wit da Redneck Bomb. Cos...

Der ain' no stoppin me nah

That was funny. Being mongolian is great!!

Hey guys. Just an update. Well I was waiting for the final judge mattjh to announce his scores but he hasn't logged in since the 6th. But it doesn't matter really. The contest became fairly one-sided (thanks to M_N_M48060) and the result will remain the same no matter what marks mattjh allocates. So without further ado here's your winner:



BATISTA!