So, you wish to be amoung the ranks as one of the best video game super villains? Then you must the proper ettique of them...

One must be physically soun for the job. Things that aid in this are poor body proportions, fatness, a raspy voice and half-functioning brain. Baldness and wild facial hair are optional. Secondly, choose a theme that fits you. Should your oddly proportioned body be shaped like an object, go with it. Clothes make the oddball, and justly so. Poor taste for clothing is a must and has tomake you the queerest thing in a mutant robot.

Next, you must have excellent credentials, includng super genius and power. The succesful utilization of these things is a minus, as they are only for looks. Then, pick a fight with a powerful super hero who has weak friends. Steal these weak friends constantly if you are bored. Create a huge robot. It doesn't have to look good, or have a good paint job, just a big robot that has three attacks that are easily learned and avoidable. Never creat anything that you know will work perfectly, don't ask me why. Should this undoubtedly perfect machine fail, have a poorly crafted backup plan ready. This won't be as good as the first, and the hero will undoubtedly smash a lesser machine, but making it not work in the first place is always good too. Make this and all of your other machines have noticeable, built in weaknesses, such as a large red button. If this isn't enough and you actually win a fight, make it easier by making it stop and putting a set of stairs to the button as seen in the famous "Egg Golem" created by Doctor Eggman.

The super hero seeks adventure, and instead of goig right t him and killing him in his sleep, you have to give him some play time. Go to several locales, such as ice, fire and jungle, and create a steady path from one end to the other, throwing in weak machines that serve no use and put them in annoying and sometimes helpful positions. Place helpful springs and bridges in case they are frustrated. At the end of some of these, place those oh so unuseful sub bosses that you've spent weeks making sure that they are repetitive and easily defeated.
Towards the end of his adventure, he will stumble upon your massive ship of doom, which will have a beaten path to the power core, giving him easy access to the destruction of it. It's your job to place scraps of metal that resemble enemies on it. Then he'll meet with you, where you'll put up an impressive display with your three guns and many witty catchphrases.

*Quick Quiz*
Match the type of gun to the catchhrase you should use..

Freeze Ray............Well blow me away!
Fire Ray..............Sorry to give you the cold shoulder!
Wind Cannon...........How about a hot foot?

After he defeats your machines, your catchphrases and your ego, he will depart quickly, as you gigantic ship will be crashing for no reason. Quickly don your escape suit and blast off saying "I'll be back, you'll live to regreat this!" Now you've successfully completed your first evil take over! Remember, your job is to be super smart, but use that to build machines to have people dumber than you defeat them. Give yourself a pat on the back and get backto the drawing board!...

This message was edited by Sonic Flash on Aug 07 2001.

Keeping at top, someone read it!

Yeah... that's our Egg Golem. Really pushed the limits of a friendly method of killing the enemy. . . the least that could have been done was for the stairs to resemble something different.
Seems like you've observed mr. Sonic villian Robotnik very closely. He shure fails a lot for being such a smart guy .. . if that wasn't the idea you'd really wonder.

(Rocky)
Crunch.

Thanks! It was my 2000th post and my gift to all!

It was the best 2000th post anyone ever did

BRAVO!!! Congrats too!!

Vey nice Flash A fun one to read

Thanks, it was fun to write! Hehe, I should put that on the site!

Top class, you even got the cliché witty remarks.

I'm known for my witty remarks while playing games... sometimes they get annoying...