Thread Recap (last 10 posts from newest to oldest)

Serious spoilers
- Julius Belmont doesn't eat. Rather he kicks ass until he's full.
- Julius Belmont isn't lactose intolerant. He just doesn't put up with lactose's crap.
- Julius Belmont does not "style" his hair. It lays perfectly in place out of sheer terror.
- Julius Belmont didn't need Magic Seals to defeat bosses, they run back to the netherworlds after seeing his beard.
Julius didn't actually fight Dracula, Dracula surrendered to him and reincarnated just to be on the safe side.
- There is no chin behind Julius Belmont' beard. There is only another vampire killer.
- When the Bogeyman goes to sleep every night he checks his closet for Julius Belmont.
- Julius Belmont does not hunt because the word hunting infers the probability of failure.
Julius Belmont goes killing.
- History was wrong, The Great Wall of China was originally created by Dracula to keep Julius Belmont out. It failed misserably.
- Julius Belmont knows where Carmen Sandiego is.
- Julius Belmont is the reason why Waldo is hiding.
- Helen Keller's favorite color is Julius Belmont.
- If you have five dollars and Julius Belmont has five dollars, Julius Belmont has more money than you.
- Julius Belmont frequently donates blood to the Red Cross. Dracula's blood.
- When Julius Belmont had surgery, the anesthesia was applied to the doctors.
- Julius Belmont is Luke Skywalker's real father.
- Julius Belmont does not use spell check. If he happens to misspell a word, Oxford will simply change the actual spelling of it.
- Julius Belmont sleeps with a night light. Not because Julius Belmont is afraid of the dark, but the darkness is afraid of Julius Belmont.
- Instead of being born like a normal baby, Julius Belmont used the whip to come out of the womb.
- If paper beats rock, rock beats scissors, and scissors beats paper, what beats all 3 at the same time? Answer: Julius Belmont's whip.
- When asked what type of vehicle he drives, Julius Belmont responded slyly with "Don't you mean what kind of vehicle drives me?"
- Julius Belmont invented black. In fact, he invented the entire spectrum of visible light. Except pink. Tom Cruise invented pink.
- Although it is not common knowledge, there are actually three sides to the Force: the light side, the dark side, and Julius Belmont.
- If you want a list of Julius Belmont' real life enemies, just check the extinct species list.
- The show Survivor had the original premise of putting people on an island with Julius Belmont. there were no survivors and the pilot episode tape has been burned.
- Scientists in Washington have recently conceded that, if there were a nuclear war, all that would remain are cockroaches and Julius Belmont.
- Julius Belmont never "gets laid", rather: "laid gets Julius".
- Julius Belmont once walked down the street with a massive erection. There we no survivors.
- Julius Belmont always has sex on the first date. Always. That's why he's over 40 and not married.
- When you open a can of whoop-ass, Julius Belmont jumps out.
- Julius Belmont got a perfect score on his SAT's, simply by writing Julius for every answer.
- Aliens do exist. They're just waiting for Julius Belmont to die before they attack.
- Julius Belmont won 'Jumanji' without ever saying the word. He simply beat the living crap out of everything that was thrown at him, and the game forfeited.
- After much debate, President Truman decided to drop the atomic bomb on Hiroshima, rather than the alternative of sending Julius Belmont. It was more "humane".
- Julius Belmont didn't actually fight Soma Cruz because he's evil, he killed Soma with a single whip to the face after having an argument over who has a better trench coat, Soma or Julius.
- Alucard got whipped in the face by Julius Belmont, after having an argument over who has a better beard, Jesus or Julius.
- Julius Belmont went looking for a bar but couldn't find one. He walked to a vacant lot and sat there. Sure enough within an hour an a half someone constructed a bar around him. He then ordered a shot, drank it, and then burned the place to the ground. Julius Belmont yelled over the roar of the flames, "always leave things the way you found em!"
- Julius sold his soul to the devil for his rugged good looks and unparalleled vampire hunter ability. Shortly after the transaction was finalized, Julius roundhouse kicked the devil in the face and took his soul back. The devil, who appreciates irony, couldn't stay mad and admitted he should have seen it coming.
- There are no disabled people. Only people who have met Julius.
- Julius Belmont recently had the idea to sell his urine as a canned beverage. We know this beverage as Red Bull.

- Julius Belmont can jump higher than Super Mario, run faster than Sonic, and has a bigger Hadouken than Street Fighter's Ryu.

- when Bruce Banner gets mad, he turns into Hulk.
when Hulk gets mad, he turns into Chuck Norris.
when Chuck Norris gets mad, he turns into Julius.

- in the beginning, Julius Belmont said, "let there be God"
and then God created the heavens and the earth, and he looked down and said, "holy $&*($!!, its Julius!!"

- Bill Gates lives in constant fear that Julius Belmont's PC will crash.

-The saddest moment for a child is not when he learns Santa Claus isn't real, it's when he learns Julius Belmont is.

- Some kids piss their name in the snow. Julius Belmont can piss his name into concrete.

- Julius Belmont doesn't sleep, he waits.

- Jesus can walk on water but Julius can swim through dry land.

- Julius Belmont jumped the grand canyon and landed in China.

- Godzilla terrorizes tokyo, Julius Belmont terrorizes him.

- Julius Belmont destroyed the periodic table, because he only recognizes the element of surprise.

- There is no ctrl button on Julius Belmont's computer, he is always in control.
soma, alucard, and julius are in heaven standing in front of god. and god says to them "each you shall now tell me why you think you should have the seat next to my throne"

soma replies "i think i should have the chair beside you because i overcame the evil within my heart..."

alucard says "i think i should have the seat because i defeated my own father to save the world."

julius replies "i think you better get your a$$ outta my chair!!"
Append Quote Prepend Quote