Here is my little autobiography. it is very long, so it will constantly be ended and incomplete. *note-The reason that I am telling you this is that these events are highly unlikely and highly unbelievable. Whether you believe my story is up to you to decide. One last thing. My autobiography is exclusively to Neoseeker. If you find this anywhere else it is NOT by me, but ripped off by some jerk. If you find this somewhere, PM me with a link to wherever you found it.---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- What do you call a story that spans the history of the universe? There is only one name for a story like that. The name of such a story would have to be called... Cracker. Yes. Cracker. Six years before the beginning of time, there existed six, The Original Six. They each have code names due to past events. In order, they are: Zach, Alex, Kristen, Scott, Nick (I am Nick), and Florens. However, Florens was evil, and hated his code name. He much preferred his real name, Zack. Even worse, Nick knew he disliked his code name and constantly pestered him by saying his name, even when it wasn't necessary. So Zack disbanded from The Original Six. He split his soul in two so he could never be defeated. He named his second self Lance. Alex made a legend based on this. It goes like this: 'Two left six to make five.' try to figure it out. The Original Five were the greatest heroes the world had ever known. However, Kristen, the leader of The Original Five, thought that the world couldn't stand the fact of their existence, being that they were as powerful as a God, although they had the appearance of teenagers. So they created NSK, a top secret organization. Nick, however, was given a secret mission from Kristen. He was to go around and tell both of the other Original Four (Zach had moved away shortly after the creation of NSK) that he had gotten fired from The Original Four. Then he was supposed to go and join Zack as a Triple-Agent (as in he was a double agent for Kristen, but also gave fake information about The Original Four to Zack). That reminds me, after Zack left, Sam, a warrior from Saturn (neither hero nor evil), gave each of The Original Five a golden key. They hid them in their skulls since none of The Original Five had brains (literally). These keys bound The Original Five together so whatever happened to Florens didn't happen again. However, the keys were made of gold so they were very fragile and one became weaker the farther it was from the others. When Zach moved, his key broke. Alex and Scott tracked him and found him dead. It turns out that when your key becomes broken your body is destroyed with it. Also, after one of the keys is destroyed, each of the others becomes a less valuable material. When there are 4 keys, they are silver. 3=Bronze, 2= a black rock-like substance similar to charcoal. When there is only 1 key it is made of a diamond-colored glass-like material that is very, VERY fragile.------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- It may seem like I ripped some things off. WRONG!!! NSK does a good job keeping our uh... 'Adventures' secret, but sometimes details are leaked. Probably the most-ripped-off 'adventure' ever is the Dr. Shrink story. There is an arch, in the shape of, well, a soccer goal post without a net. Its name is The Arch of Arc. The Arch is in a well known area, however its secrets are known by few. It is really a portal to Arc! Yeah, right. It is a portal, but just to the Fifth dimension. Again, very few know this, as only six people could enter it. Yes, only the Original Six could enter. However, only Nick could leave. None know why. Now, there have been some that have been able to come in. But, they either died or went insane and committed suicide. Pity. One person was Dr. Shrink. He did not die. Still hasn't. Rather, he kidnapped Scott and Kristen and shrunk them for unknown reasons. This detail, sadly, was stolen by the makers of the TV shows Totally Spies and Richie Rich. Alex and Nick helped by attaching metal to Alex's body. Alex's key helps him control metal and other technology. Alex transformed the metal attached to make a helicopter. Sort of like Transformers. Now back to the story.--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Alex occasionally stopped going to meetings. And adventures. Etc. Only Nick knew. Alex had joined Zack. Now, Zack had a group sort of like the Original Five. Zack had recruited people to serve as evil doubles. Tyler is Zack's best friend and is unknown how he was of use to Zack. One day Tyler, Alex, and Nick were talking about a spy. The spy was obviously Nick, but Zack thought it was Alex. Alex was found later, dead. Most likely murdered. In 1432 A.D., Nick created a time machine that was 18 in. high by 24 in. wide by 12 in. deep. He traveled forward in time to the creation of the International Space Station and, uh, borrowed the Russian part of the ISS. He disguised it as a tree house and went back to when he was 18. He installed an older time machine of his into the ISS/Tree house and gave it to himself. He then broke the time machine. Scott had a mission investigating what would in the future be DVG, or Deadly Video Games. The organization created video games that sucked players into the game until it is 100% complete. When Nick and Scott got back, the entire Main NSK Building was ash. NSK had other buildings, so that wasn't the problem. The problem was that Kristen was in the building when it caught on fire. Nick and Scott went to Zack's lair and found it in flames. Nick and Scott were the last two of the Original Six.--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- The Main NSK Building doesn't stand today. As much as I wanted to grab my time machine and go back to July 19, 1432, I can't. Since the building is gone, I might as well tell you about it. In the Mid-West region of the United States, there was a beautiful cherry forest. The tallest tree was hand-picked by Kristen for the building, which was planned to have 90 stories. The wood ran out after the 49th story was built. So the workers used the platinum and silver that was mined in the area. That ran out after the 73rd floor. Nothing was ever chosen for the final 11 floors. On the opposite end of the forest, stood a lone oak tree, the only non-cherry tree in the forest. Behind it was a structure that belonged to Zack. The rest of his hideout was underground. When it burned down, only the above ground part was destroyed. However, the rest is gone due to a huge meteor that left it in ruins. NSK scientists have since taken it for investigation. The cherry forest is now gone, replaced with what is today the Badlands.--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- The years passed. The only significant event between 1432 and 1990, was when Nick traveled to the future, saw a game he liked, traveled back to his time, and started assembling Super Nick Bros. Melee. Yes, it happened. After he made the first, he mailed it to Scott and started on the second. Five minutes later, Scott called and asked why Nick had mailed him the game when he could have walked an extra ten feet to his neighbor, Scott‘s house. Nick told Scott not to turn it on until he got there. Remember DVG? Well, they were up and running now, transforming games made by Sega, Sony, and Play Station into much deadlier versions of the originals. Don’t ask me how they got a hold of Super Nick Bros. Melee, transformed it into a DVG, and delivered it to Scott in less than five minutes. I never found out. You’ve probably guessed what happened next already. After Nick and Scott got out they threw the game away. It is unknown where it is now, most likely rotting in a landfill, or some Joe found it. Joe possibly installed it in his GameCube, and perhaps he got sucked in. Joe’s mom perhaps came in the room, most likely turned it off, and almost certainly broke the game in half. Poor Joe.--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- I once came up with another game. I thought that it was such a good idea that I wanted to share it with the world. So I sent a letter to Nintendo explaining Bucket Mario, a game where Mario got his head stuck in a bucket and Luigi had to save him by defeating not Bowser, but a doppelganger of Mario, cleverly named Wario. Nintendo refused, saying that the game would never sell. I was crushed. Two years later, Nintendo came out with a new game, Mario vs. Wario. Or, as some people call it, Super Mario Land 2: 6 Golden Coins. I was furious. After I calmed down, I said to myself, ‘It must be a coincidence.’ Then I read a review of the game. The only thing keeping me from destroying Nintendo was the entire NSK staff. Something interesting was that the Wario you see today is based off of my Wario based off of a real life Wario. The real Wario isn’t the opposite of Mario like everyone thinks. He’s actually very witty, and that can be a problem. Real Wario is a common enemy of The Original Five and NSK. See, NSK has a huge underground jail. It is one of two, but I’m not telling you anymore locations. A long time ago, Kristen and Scott went on a mission to arrest a guy that invented illegal potions. I don’t know much more, except I actually worked undercover with the guy, and he made me test a concoction that you inserted in your bloodstream that made everything you read for the next five minutes you will actually see. Heh… Okay, after he was arrested, he went to the underground prison. Then he was on kitchen duty, cooking for the five hundred prisoners. Well, he snuck in an immortality tonic. That’s why I said that Dr. Shrink hasn’t died yet. Wario was in jail at the time, and so he drank it, and so he couldn’t die. He could be hurt severely, he just couldn’t die. Most people are confused about immortality. Later Wario escaped. Don’t ask how. Since then, he has been a major pain. And to top it off, most things he did were public, so NSK had an extra hard time getting rid of the evidence. This is bad, because every time Wario did something, someone that worked for Nintendo would type them out. Of course, Wario never raced go-karts or played baseball or anything like that. When NSK would come to erase the evidence, they didn’t erase the papers that Nintendo wrote. Nintendo read the papers; they made a game, etc. The oddest case was the Wario and the Master of Disguise one. Nick and Scott were on a mission that dealt with this. Nintendo, however, left out the two most important characters. Cheated again. However, I wasn’t as bummed, though, because Nintendo changed the ending. Wario did get cheated out of one trillion dollars. Just, by me and Scott and not by the Count.--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- My computer hasn't been working well lately, so I haven't been able update. There is one more nemesis of Nick I should mention. About 3,000 A.B.T. (After Beginning of Time) there was only two humans, the very first humans. Their names were Reagan and Draco Storm. They were the first humans to evolve from not monkeys, but dragons. I'll tell you later. Reagan and Draco were also the inventors of last names. They were actually more like dragons than today's humans. They were born without tails or wings and couldn't breath fire. Unlike today's humans, Reagan and Draco had pale white skin, no hair anywhere on their bodies, and were cold blooded. They had no scales and weren't mammals. They were horribly disfigured dragons, to put it simply. No dragon would love them, so they were forced to be with each other. They had four kids: Xavier, Reynard, Grace, and Antonyo. Xavier disappeared at 17 years of age, while Grace and Tony lived normal lives. Reynard, however, got in a fight with Nick. I don't remember what it was about, so don't ask. Nick accidentally killed him and left. Reynard wasn't really dead, just in a coma on the brink of death. Then lightning struck him. It was sort of like the diaframictic... something. He was given much more power than before. Nick could never defeat him, only slow him down. Admittedly, he could defeat him by sucking all of him energy from him and using it as his own, but then he would explode with power.--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Dragons are nearly extinct. I'm just going to say it. There are only 15 dragons left in world today. The reason nobody knows about them is because they can only be seen under Infared light. There were many different kinds of dragons, but I feel like I will only mention the seven existing species. There are six stages of a dragon's life. The first is Egg. I hope you don't need any explaining there. The second is, well I forgot the name, but it's the French word for miniature. The reason this is so is because the second stage is your average dragon, wings, tails, etc. The only difference is that they are miniature. About a foot tall, two or so feet from snout to tail. I have a picture. You can find it in my gallery. Stage three: Picture Godzilla. Now picture him five feet tall. Now combine that image with a five foot tall Substitute from Pokemon. That's sort of what Stage 3 looks like. No wings and thus can't fly. Quite ugly, actually. It stands on two legs, unlike all the other stages. This stage can be skipped, actually, all stages could be skipped, but this one is most commonly, simply by staying the previous stage overtime. Stage 4 is your average dragon. Walks on four legs, flies using wings, huge, etc. Stage 5 is the final living stage. This stage is like the Chinese dragon, but is more like Rayquaza then anything else. The sixth and final stage is Charcoal. That's right, charcoal is dragon remains. If you want to know why dragons are nearly extinct, I'll tell you. Back about 20,000 years ago, there were cavemen, right? So these guys wanted as much food as possible. So they killed off mammoths and other big animals. Animals such as dragons. Problem with dragons is that as soon as they die, their body turns into charcoal. But these idiot humans, even after their 501st dead dragon killed, didn't realize that. So now there are only fifteen dragons left.-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- The seven remaining kind of dragons are: Rouge Fire Dragon, Orange Earth Dragon, Juane Electricity Dragon, Vert Plant Dragon, Bleu Water Dragon, Noir Ice Dragon, and Violet Poison Dragon. I named these after the French names of the colors of the rainbow and the element they can use. Except indigo, which I forgot, so I used the French word for black.---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- I might have forgot to mention this, but after Reynard went psycho and tried to kill me, he changed his name to Rain Storm. Like you didn't see that coming. Just as a reminder to myself, as of November 21st, (2009) The Cracker has a grand total of 100 views. -_-;. And one last thing. I've found something my species could be compared to. Elves. Check out Wikipedia if you are confused.------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Did I mention the guy with illegal potions? And the one potion that lets you see what you read? Well, that guy (name keeps slipping my mind) found out something that has been spectacular to NSK ever since. The powers of books. You see, the first ever book was brought to the third dimension by Tiaramisu, whose name might seem familiar to some of you. Ever since, books have had magical properties. This guy was the first to figure it out. For example, Pet Sematary, written by Stephen King, changes your view on death. Eragon, by Christopher P.(can't spell his last name) enhances your thought process. You may be asking yourself, 'Why is he bringing this up?' It's because of Twilight, by Stephanie Meyer. I hate this book. NSK has hated it ever since one noble employee read it and became hypnotized ever since. *sigh* How the mighty have fallen. One final note. Some books actually change for the person reading them. Incredible, no?-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Remember how I said: 'The only significant event between 1432 and 1990' I was wrong. There is one other event. Admittedly, there is two things, but they go hand in hand. I also said 'the most ripped off story' this story is more ripped off. It is the story of the Golden Compass. Yep. The Golden Compass is a doomsday device of unknown origin. It was found in the Grand Canyon in 1775. It consists of 1,000 settings that go in order, with the thousandth blowing up the galaxy. As soon as NSK found it, a guy with spiky black hair stole it. We don't know this guy's name, but we call him Slick Black. He used it, and Nick and Scott were forced to stop him. The forth setting turns the Rocky Mountains into a huge dragon. It shot rocks at the two, but only one hit Nick. We later found out that it was actually a spaceship whose single passenger didn't survive the fall. Nick and Scott later confronted the vampire and, well, we're not sure what happened next. Anyway, the seventh setting makes the user decide whether to keep going the thousand settings or skip to the last one. Well, during the sixth, Nick died and Scott captured Slick. Scott took him back to NSK, where they held a press conference. Scott didn't show any sympathy for Nick, even laughing at him. However, Nick made a surprise appearance and told NSK how he only pretended to die and then captured Slick Black and made it seem like Scott did it.-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- The Cracker doesn't just consist of Deadly Video Games and magical books. There was even a movie made off of this next part. Nick and Scott were traveling and found a cave with a warning statue in front of it. Naturally, they went in. It was a very long tunnel that led to what looked like a train station. At the other end of the building, the was a huge, open field. At the end of the field was a city. There was an abandoned outdoor bar with plates of steaming food on them. Scott was starving, so he sat down to eat. Nick desided to look around a bit before eating. When he came back, Scott was transformed into a pig. Nick had seen some weird stuff, but this took the cake. Nick ran back to the field and found it was flooded. Some of you have probably correctly guessed that the movie, Spirited Away, was based off of this. The movie generally follows what happened after this. However, some things were changed. The witch's name, (who's name is Yubaba in the English version) is actually Tiaramisu. Her twin sister is Terrormisu. Their names are the opposite of how they act. In the movie, there is a nice little scene where the main character is eating some weird rice ball while looking out at the open, flooded field. Actually, Nick was looking up at the sky and staring at something he had never seen before: the moon. Nick heard some giggling and found a 3-year old girl playing with air. Nick looked back at the rock in the sky and figured that the girl controled it. He named the rock in the sky: Moon, and the girl: Luna. He left the weird place when no one noticed. Nick went to NSK and asked if he could keep her. They said no, because humans would freak out to find a rock orbiting Earth all of a sudden. Nick pouted for half an hour, then came up with an idea. He cloned Luna, went back in time and put Luna's clone in a random place. Thus the moon. Nick went back to the weird place, (which he correctly guessed was the 4th demension) and no one was the wiser. Later in the movie, the main character makes a hairband. It is actually a magic watch. Haku, an unusual character who helps Nick, comes in his dragon form and transports Nick back to the city. In the movie, the main character relizes Haku's real name, a river spirit, and he is set free. Nick relizes his real name is 8volt, a friend of Nick's. 8volt goes back to the 3rd demension to try and find 9volt, his adoptive brother. Nick finds Tiaramisu waiting for him. She has turned Scott back to normal, but won't let them leave unless they defeat her. Nick and Scott try to defeat her, but are quickly overwhelmed. Nick and Scott escape at the last minute, but Tiaramisu follows them. Scott left and tried to get NSK to help. Nick meets Cannoli I, who is persuaded to trick the demon. Tiaramisu is trapped in the Wishstone, and Nick writes words of warning on them. However, Tiaramisu tries to escape, so Cannoli breaks it into five pieces. If you've played Wario: Master of Disguise, you know what happens after that. If not, then you just have to wait until I finish writing what REALLY happened!-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- My real name is not Nick. That is my code name. My real name is Earth. The reason I'm telling you this is because you might guess it once I tell you this: I have eight siblings, and their names are, from oldest to youngest, Venus, Jupiter, Saturn, Uranus, Neptune, Mercury, Mars, and Pluto. Everyone expects aliens to only survive on conditions similar to Earth, but all ten planets in the solar system have had life on them at one time, some of them still living. Most of them are hiding from humans. In 1963, Nick, A.K.A. Earth went to visit his brother, Pluto. However, Uranus, who was evil, convinced Pluto to kill Nick when he got there. Pluto was reluctant, but was conviced when Uranus threaned to kill him with twenty-seven kinds of poison at the same time. See, he invented and controls posion and venom. When Nick arrived, he didn't realize Pluto's pact, and showed Pluto his time machine. Nick buried it in the soil, and transported the entire planet back one-hundred years to 1863. Pluto then took Nick by suprise and nearly killed him. However, Nick used his trump card, a special card that was the king of spades, called the King of Aces. The card relesed a blast that wiped all life from the planet, except for Nick, Pluto, and Elementus, Pluto's paid assassin. The card also messed up the planet's orbit. That's why Pluto isn't considered a planet anymore Pluto stayed on his ruined planet, while he sent Elementus for revenge on Nick. Nick left Pluto, and went forward in time to 1963 again. He stayed on Saturn for a few years until Scott came in Nick's car, the Nixmobile. The Nixmobile was designed by Alex and has had three models. The first was built by Alex, was white with hot-rod flames, and was burnt up when it crashed into the sun.