	Pokemon Girl	sign guestbook private message add friend
	profile crs profile guestbook participation platforms home forum posts
	Location: Evillville, TX, USA Member since: February 9th, 2005 Profile views: 8504

Texas Women, Kittens and Biscuits

Someone once noted that a Texan can get away with the most awful kind of insult just as long as it's prefaced with the words, "Bless her heart" or "Bless his heart."

As in, "Bless her heart, if they put her brain on the head of a pin, it'd roll around like a BB on a 6-lane highway"

I was thinking about this the other day when a friend was telling about her new transplanted northern friend who was upset because her toddler is just beginning to talk and he has a Texas accent.

My friend, who is very kind and, bless her heart, cannot do a thing about those thighs of hers, was justifiably miffed about this.

After all, this woman had CHOSEN to move to Texas a couple of years ago.

"Can you believe it?" said her friend, "A child of mine is going to be "taaaallllkkin liiiike thiiiissss."

Now, don't get me wrong.

Some of my dearest friends are from the North, bless their hearts. I welcome their perspective, their friendships, and their recipes for authentic Northern Italian food.

I've even gotten past their endless complaints that you can't find good bread down here. And the heathens, bless their hearts, don't like cornbread!

I have a friend from Bawston, bless her heart, who thinks it's hilarious when I say I've got to

"carry" my daughter to the doctor or "cut off" the light.

She also gets a giggle every time I am "fixin" to do something.

And, bless their hearts, they don't even know where "over yonder" is, or what "I reckon" means!

My personal favorite was my aunt, saying, "Bless her heart, she cain't help being ugly, but she could'uh stayed home."

Texas girls know bad manners when they see them:

1. Drinking straight out of a can.

2. Not sending thank you notes.

3. Velvet after February.

4. White shoes before Memorial Day or after Labor Day.

Texas girls always say:

1. "Yes Maam."

2. "Yessir."

Texas girls have a distinct way with fond expressions:

1. "Yawl come back."

2. "Well, bless yer harrt."

3. "Drop by when ya can."

4. "How's yer mama?"

5. "Love yer hair."

Texas girls know their three R's:

1. Rich

2. Richer

3. Richest

Texas girls know everybody's first name:

1. Hunny

2. Darlin'

3. Shuger

Texas girls know the movies that speak to their hearts:

1. "Gone With the Wind"

2. "Fried Green Tomatoes"

3. "Driving Miss Daisy"

4. "Steel Magnolias"

Texas girls know the three deadly sins:

1. Bad hair

2. Bad manners

3. Bad blind dates

G.R.I.T. = Girls Raised in Texas

Now you run along, Shuger, and send this to ANY females aspiring to be GRITS--Even the northern ones, "Bless Their Hearts". "Just because you move to Texas does not make you a Texan.

After all, if a cat had kittens and moved them to the oven, that wouldn't make them biscuits."

"Fightin' Words" Alright Everyone knows I'm the hard workin' peace lovin' type I walk a thousand miles out of my way Just to keep from a fight Poke fun at the way that I talk Or this hat that I wear You can say what you want about me See if I care But one slip of the tongue 'bout my God Or my mama Or this flag that I wear on my shirt You'll see a side of me man That I don't think you wanna Cause them there's fightin' words Now don't get me wrong I've swapped skin now and then in my youth I was all for an eye for an eye and a tooth for a tooth Now the older I get The less I wanna stand toe to toe But before you go runnin' your mouth I think you oughta know That one slip of the tongue 'bout my God Or my mama Or this flag that I wear on my shirt You'll see a side of me man That I don't think you wanna Cause them there's fightin' words Chevrolet or Ford The south or the north That ain't gonna get me worked up But I'll draw the line Everytime when it comes to the things that I love So one slip of the tongue 'bout my dog Or my man Or this country that I proudly serve You'll see a side of me man That you dang sure don't wanna Cause them there's fightin' words Yeah, them's fightin' words Ahh them's fightin' words, Hoss [spoken] Excuse me First amendment? Son, the first amendment protects you from the government Not from me You can say whatever you want to out there You come within reach of me I'll exercise my right to give you a good ol' country butt whoopin'

Pokemon Girl

Texas Women, Kittens and Biscuits

Compare Prices