Welcom to Teh Holiez Bibul
A concentrated effort is under way, somewhere on the Internets, in translating the entire Bible into LOLSpeak. So far, about 60% of the Good Book has been converted to LOLSpeak, (also known as Internet Pigdin), with the rest scheduled to be finished in 2008. While the biblical stories remain the same, there has been some ... liberties taken. For instance, God has been replaced by the "Ceiling Cat" which has divine dominion over all, including all of the "kittens" (humans.)
Here is a selection from the book of Luke:
Ceiling Cat sended Gabriowl, a hovr d00d, to Nazareth (dat is a citi in Galilee) to a virgn naemd Mary. She wuz engajded to a d00d naemd Joseph. Gabriowl wuz liek "O hai Mary, u iz realli nice. Ceiling Cat iz wif u." Mary wuz kiend of worrid about dat.But teh hovr d00d wuz all "Doant be afraid. Ceiling Cat iz happi wif u. U iz gonna hav a kittn. Naem him Jebus. He wil be graet. He wil be teh kittn of Ceiling Cat an his daddi will give him David's chaer. He wil r00l Jacob's house forevr."
Mary wuz liek "O rly, i iz a virgn remembr." Gabriowl wuz all "Ceiling Cat wil take caer of it."Elizabeth iz goin to hav a kittn n evribodi seded it wuz imposubl." Nothin iz imposubl for Ceiling Cat."
Mary sed "I is happi to do Ceiling Cat's work. Liek u sai." N Gabriowl lefted.
The project is being undertaken as a Wiki, so that anyone can contribute by 'translating' biblical passages yet translated. The LOLSpeak project was undoubtedly influenced by the success of the popular icanhascheezburger.com website which matches funny pictures of cats with semi-sensical comments written with little regard for the conventions of the English language.
This website surely joins the Brick Testament (which depicts biblical scenes in LEGO) as being one of the more sacrilegious, humorous websites on the Interwebs.
Here's a parting passage from Matthew 2:
king herod (teh n00b king) was campin like a ub3r n00b near der, n when he heared this he wuz liek “omfg hez in mah empaire, steelin ma gloriez (an mai cookiez wtf)?!??! n all d pplz in Jerusalem wuz leik “hey yea wtf?!” So he got all d pplz who are has teh smartz, ne he sayed “sry im n00b but lol srsly wer doez king j00 spawn?” N dey sed to him “lol.. d00d, obviusly king j00 spawns in beetleham, ceiling cat saied to sum guy wun time “oi rait dis down n stuff” n he rited: “dw beetleham, u r not teh fail, cuz from u iz gunna come dis leet d00d who cn pwn evry1 n is haz cookiez. Hez gunna save teh ppl of Israel n whatnot.”
And if you are wondering -- no, this is not an April's Fools joke. It'd be too hard to make something like this up.
all this BS makes me want to puke, respect, man, learn what it is, realise what you are doing "n00bz"
Making a bullshit book actually fun to read?
Most of it's funny the rest is just insulting.
(Like x_revenge said.)
say whatever you want now, i don't care but i don't find making one the most important elements of my religion a totally embarassing abomination of what it was
oh and merc sora, i'll just pretend i never read that, this is no threat but i take it you're not Christian, how would you like if that happened to your religion's holy book (or not book, i don't care what)?
another thing i don't understand is why it has to be the Bible...if you want to destroy something go destroy a poem or something, but why the Bible?
never mind, don't answer that, i wouldn't want to read the reply
i'm not here to change anyone's religion or beliefs or to sound like a priest because i'm too far away to call myself a saint but there are 3 things i believe you must respect:
life
family
religion
any religion for that matter, even if you don't believe in God and you believe in Alah or Budhha or whatever, you shouldn't do things like these since we'll only find out what's happening AFTER we die, of course, everyone's allowed to believe anything he wishes, me, for example, i'm a Christian so i believe that when i die i'll be judged for my actions and will either go to Paradise or Hell and as a christian i'm convinced that this is how it works and don't believe that i'll reincarnate as someone or something else (i'm not trying to start anything, it was just a random refference to Buddhism since i do not know what any other religion thinks happens after death), just like other people that are convinced their religions are true, that's how it goes, accept and live with it or don't, it won't make a difference, just remember that you aren't the only one on this planet
wow talk about rambling on and on...i don't know when to stop, do i?
well whatever...
(BTW I Christian 2!)
x_revenge, I think this argument has occurred before, with you at the center. I'm a Christian, and I don't care what they translate the Bible into. They translated it into English, Spanish, French, German, etc., etc. Why not 1337 sp33k? Why not chat speek? It's just a damned translation. If you don't like it, don't read it when it's finished.
As I said, I'm Christian. I come from a devout, Catholic Irish family. That said, I still don't care. It's some people on the internet making fun of a two thousand year old book. It's not like it hasn't happened before, and it surely isn't the last time it will happen. And it's peple on the internet. ZOMG, SOMEONE ON THE INTERNET INSULTED SOMETHING? Stop the presses.
And, like most people, you're confusing Muslims with Muslim Radicals. You know, kind of like the Christians who used to use various torture methods such as water boarding and the hung-drawn-quartered at the slightest hint that anything at all about the Christian faith was wrong. Hell, Christians ruined Galileo's life for saying the sun was at the center of the solar system. The Church didn't even acknowledge that he was right until a little less then twenty years ago.
If anything, we are the ones who should be seen as crazy radicals. Like the ones who said Harry Potter had made a deal with the devil after hearing about the first book, but saying Harry Potter symbolized Jesus Christ by the seventh book.
I did snicker a bit at 'ceiling cat' being portrayed as god. Other then that, from the quotes I saw of this, it seems like they took it a bit too far.
if you like this **** then that's your problem, just don't think everyone is like you and expect others that take it more seriously to act like this, i won't be provoked to a fight with any of you so just be such a$$e$, the internet is a place for people of all religions and beliefs, respect that, it's here to make people get closer, not the opposite
That's all true, and most people will just try to convert you.
@The article
Haha. Silly Ceiling Cat. Its a little funny, but meh. Being Christian, I didn't laugh a whole lot.
Man, this is epic. This is coming from a devout Christian, this is epic.

I've got 2 reiterate again... it is just a translation into another language, nothin' bad about that!(I've read some chapters, NOT blaspheming at all!)
agonistic ftw
Den a lawyr d00d ax "Boss, how I gits to liv forevr?" Jebus ax "Wut duz da r00lz say?"27 Lawyr d00d sez "U shd luvz Ceiling Cat wit hart an soal an bodee an brainz, an u shd luvz ur naybor as much as u luvz ur self." Jebus sez "Dats rite. Do dat an u liv." But lawyr d00d ax "But who beez mai naybor?"
Jebus sez "Wons up on a tiem, a d00d goed frm Jerusalem to Jericho. But OH NOES! Him get beeted up an robd an stuf, an him almost deded. Srsly! Den priest d00d walk by an ignor him. Den Levite d00d walk by an preten not seez him. But Samaritan d00d seez him and sez "OMGWTF?!!! Iz u ok?!" An him helpd hurted d00d an givs him fud an takz him to vet an promisz to payz vet bill. So wich won of dez tree wuz naybor to him dat got robd?"
Lawyr d00d sez "Him dat was nies to him." An Jebus sez "Dats rite. So do liek dat."
drel-=> No profit is intended, I don't think. It is just being done for "lolz."
Silly, silly religious people...